The meeting of two bloggers

I guess there is no getting away from it, this is something I have to do. I did after all set myself up for it foolish as that was.
Yes we met, HMU text me that he was at the hotel and I should text him when I was arriving and he would meet me in reception. I dropped the boys off at the cricket ground, text HMU that I was just arriving and swung the car around. slipped it into gear and slid down the slope to the hotel car park. I left my overnight bag in the car as I went to meet HMU. As I approached reception I could see him there waiting although there were other men there loitering some on mobiles calling home or whereever. But I could see HMU and couldnt stop from grinning as I approached him, I tried to compose myself but I felt good. I was greeted with a very nice kiss. We made the joint decision to collect my bag and take it up to the room before we had dinner.
Once we were in the room we kissed some more and it felt really nice when HMU began to stroke my chest and unbutton my top. we stood kissing for quite some time before deciding to move to the bed to be more relaxed.
But the problem was that neither of us were fully relaxed. HMU is a very nice man and I am glad we met but neither of us felt the same chemistry we had had during our conversations etc leading up to this meeting. We were both ok about this. Chemistry is not something that can be guaranteed. We both readjusted our clothing and went down to the restaurant where we had a drink and chatted for ages. We had a very nice but very basic dinner. but the food was not important. HMU is a fascinating man with so many interesting tales and interests. It was amazing the amount of areas in his life that have gone along the same directions as mine only in his case in a far greater way. From involvement in Politics to education we have both been the chairperson of organisations. We are both people who get involved in life. we discussed blogging of course. we also chatted about our various daliances with members of the opposite sex. I felt very comfortable in his presence. We chatted about my intention to investigate the possibility of taking my writing to another level and possibly earning some small income from what I write. The time flew by probably because we just did not stop talking but I could see that HMU was becoming tired he had after all had a long day. I knew I was talking too much but I suggested it was time for me to leave. We returned to his room to collect my coat and bag. Thank goodness I had brought a coat. It had been such a gloriously sunny day but now it was raining. HMU walked me back to my car and we kissed good night. When I got home I text him thankyou for dinner and a lovely evening. his reply

I enjoyed the evening as well. Shame it wasn't what we expected!

I dont expect we will continue the same amount of communication but I shall certainly be pleased to call HMU a friend. Thank you HMU :-)

How long has it been?

I am not sure though it would be easy to find out. It has been a few weeks 3, 4 or 5 maybe but not much more I know. First I found his blog through a comment he had left on another that I read. I left a comment on his blog. Soon we were leaving comments for each other, then he emailed me and we began to chat on msn. Then he went on holiday for a week. Already though we hardly knew each other, that week took more than 7 days to my mind. I enjoyed chatting and exchanging views. When he returned we chatted some more, then we began giving each other ideas to write about on our blogs. A long very late night phone call followed as well as hundreds of text messages sometimes thoughout the day and evening.

Then he started talking about meeting. I suggested we meet at the bloggers meet in London at the end of March. But he can’t make it, so we decided that we would meet the day before instead. Then he felt he would like to meet before that and as he would be working less than an hour drive from my home on Tuesday 6th March we agreed that he would book a room at a hotel in a town not far from where I live.

It will be strange for me going to that hotel. It is the only hotel where I have stayed over night with a lover. I stayed there twice with SS before he vanished into thin air never to be seen or heard from again. Knowing that I am going there has got me thinking about SS again wondering how he is and if he is safe. (His work took him into dangerous areas). Had his work not taken him abroad suddenly I could have seen myself falling for SS big style. We were seeing each other at least twice a week which is far more than I have seen any other man apart from N during the year since I ended my marriage.

Anyway back to tomorrow. We have been texting on and off since I got my early morning text at 7.30. then this evening the texts increased for a couple of hours. Its gone quiet now for a while but I’m sure will start up again before bed time. I have started to think about tomorrow night and how it will be. I know we will get on well. I know he doesn’t have any desire to own me just have some fun together. It would be nice if the chemistry is there when we meet face to face, I suspect that it will be. We have both said that we would like this to be on going fun, nothing serious but not just one off either. I am thinking now about what I shall wear. I know I shall wear a skirt and stockings but that is as far as I have got. (no that does not mean I shall be topless).

Am I nervous? A little but not overly. When we meet will we indulge in small talk or get straight into an embrace that gives an indication of the passion to come later. Will we sit in the bar drinking for ages before going to his room or will we have a quick drink before getting in the lift. Will we keep our hands to ourselves whilst in public. I know that he enjoys being secretly intimate in public. This turns me on too.

It is now almost 11pm and I know that in under 24 hours I shall be with Hornymaleuk. I’m not sure why this meeting feels different to the others I have maybe it is because we are both bloggers and we are expected to give an account of our night. Will we both write favourable accounts. Certainly it will be interesting to read what a fellow blogger thinks of me in real life. I have had written accounts before when a few of the men I have met on AFF have written testimonials on my profile. Maybe I shall post them one day.
I think I had best have an early night tonight as I expect it will be a long night when we meet tomorrow.

Update as I knew there would be we exchanged more text before bed. with a promise of more tomorrow.

March

I'm looking forward to the month of March much better than the last two months.
As I posted last night I am going to still see GB. He was busy this morning so we will talk later.
This morning I bit the bullet and emailed N that I m setting him free as I cannot give him the time and love he needs. I hadnt wanted to tell him in this way but I guess my new found confidence doesnt go as far as telling him to his face. but at least it was better than the curt text he used to send me each time.
Both HMU and GP were chatting online this morning. GP making sure that I still want to meet him but changing our date to next thursday as he now has an appointment with work on friday. He is very sure that he wants to get very intimate with me.
HMU sent me the following text after I told him briefly what GB's email said.
'thats good! I'm pleased.... Hope you still want to go to bed with me next week xx'
This is the kind man who was advising me how to deal with my situation with GB.

N has replied that he had thought a lot of me. Then later a second email ……I must think he is an animal in a field if I think he will forget me, I have made the wrong decision. He thinks he wasn’t enough for me. Not good enough for me. Part of me wants to tell him that I am really sorry. But there is no point in me contacting him. I know I shall get emails/text demanding that I return his computer books and disks that he lent me. I know him well enough to know how he behaves towards the woman he has split with.
Today I took my mum out for lunch, she has been stuck indoors for weeks since she had her knee replacement. We went to pub up on a hill with a great view in both directions. From the front it looks out over the city and out to sea, from the car park at the back you get a great view inland across the countryside. When we got inside we looked for a table by the window, most of the tables at the front were reserved. The first sign my eyes noticed was a long table reserved for (it was GB’s surname). At first I though maybe he had booked a table there for his business. But it was not likely as he probably didn’t even know the place it was in the wrong direction for him. But I kept an eye out just in case. It turned out to be a family group.
On friday I shall be having fun with SL and Mr & Mrs P. then on tues I should be meeting HMU then GP on thursday next week. so hopefully March will be a better month for me.

Rejection or not

With a trembling hand I pressed the button that said send. Too late now!! I couldn’t take it back. I had just sent the email to GB. I told him that I understand his pangs of guilt but I still want very much to see him. I don’t want to do anything that will risk his marriage. But could we please still see each other just when he is comfortable about it. Once the email had gone I knew I would not concentrate on anything. I was like a cat on a hot tin roof. Will he reply and if he does when will it be? Would it be today or will I have to wait. When and if he does reply will it be the rejection that I so fear. Of course it will and now I have prompted him to tell me that the ‘us’ that never really was can not now ever be. He will tell me that it was wonderful, that I am wonderful but he cannot risk a repeat. I feel sick in the stomach as well as in the heart. I just know that I have shot myself in the foot. If I had just waited, not pushed him, then maybe he might have decided that he still wanted me enough to overcome his fears.

I busy myself with shopping, I only need a few things but by the time I reach the checkout I have a trolley full and reduced my bank balance drastically. But I have been able to keep my mind occupied. I find I have some new lingerie, as well as a new camera, and that was before I got any food.Later, I am putting the food away in the cupboards when the text hits my phone. It tells me that I have an email from GB. All I can read are the first few words.

It’s good to know you are cool about my apparent ‘about turn’.

I need to go online to read the rest of his email. But I can’t. One of my boys is on the only computer connected to the net. I am scared I don’t want to read his reply. I text HMU he tells me that I must read it. I know that, but I am scared of what I will read. I really feel sick now, much more than earlier. Then I was worried but now I know the rejection has arrived and I don’t want to see the words in black and white. Once I have read them I won’t be able to kid myself that there is still a chance. I don’t want to read the email when I am surrounded by my family. I want to be on my own when I open the much dreaded yet wished for email.

Using my mobile from the privacy of my bedroom I sign onto my email box and open the envelope. I read the same words I had already seen then I carry on reading. He is pleased that I still want something from him, he was enjoying it too. But we need to find some middle ground. OMG he still wants to see me. It isn’t the end of the road. We need to talk about where we go from here but that can wait. The important thing is that we both still want to see each other. Where my heart had felt like lead moments ago I now feel like singing and I know I am grinning like a mad woman. I text HMU :-)
He replies I take it you have now read the reply.
I send a text to GB x x x x.
I didn’t need to say anything he will know I have read his reply. Perhaps we will get to speak either online or by phone in the next day or two. I just feel so much happier now than I have for the past week. I am so grateful to HMU he told me to tell GB how I feel, I had thought if I did that it would be putting pressure on him, but HMU said that men need to be told they are wanted. I thought that was us women who need the reassurances. I had thought if I said I wanted him he would run away from me.