last photos

Following my challenge for Mulder I felt it would be only fair to post these for those who, like FC don't have the time to trawl my archives looking for these photos enjoy

this will probably be the last time I post any photos like this.

having a good day

so far today has turned out just great.

its been a mixture of little things but I am feeling good.

I still think about forest but in a different way now. I hope we can still be friends but I don't know that I could ever have sex with him again. In theory it would be no different to the other guys I have had as fwb. But in practice I don't think it would work. Even in a fwb situation there has to be a chemistry a certain amount of passion. If I had sex with him again I would have to shut out all the feelings that I had had before which would leave me just going through the motions which would not be very enjoyable therefore pointless. So he will have to find himself a replacement.

As for me I am in no hurry to replace him either in bed or in my heart.

my morning started with a suprise message. it didn't say much just sammy saying sorry he fell asleep last night he was off to work now. You are probably thinking who the hell is Sammy?

I have been chatting to Sammy for months now, he shares the same name as Fireman Sam which led to my first chat with FS being one I thought I was having with Sammy. I was so embarrassed when I realised that FS was a man I had not chatted to before especially considering what I had just been telling him about my night before which sammy knew was about to happen.

I have been chatting online to Sammy all week. he has been my rock this week, bolstering my confidence telling me off when I say anything negative. reminding me how to behave where men are concerned. coaching me in how to win a real man, a man who will treat me as I deserve to be treated, not that I am looking at the moment. he also not only lusts after me which is nice to know at this time, but he also appreciates my crap humour and my writing. he lives a couple of hours drive away not insurmountable but not local. Last night he went to a party, but he was back on his computer talking to me well before midnight. I jokingly said he left the party early because he was missing me. He says that was it. He was wishing he was here with me. Pulleaseeee don't!!! as flattering as that is I don't need it right now.

Now that #4 son is at senior school there are going to be times when he gets home first, so I said I would get him his own door key. #2 son has mislaid his so that needed replacing. #4 son wanted to come with me so after we dropped off #3 son who was going to see his g/f (3 months now!). we did something we have never done before. We took my car through the car wash. Just a simple thing to do but for us it was exciting and I am so pleased my car looks clean and shiny again. We also had our lunch at subway which I don't normally do. It was nice to spend some time just the two of us and have these little treats.

This afternoon after I had dropped him off at his friend's house I went home. Just #2 son in the house. I was on the crap pc trying to check emails on my other accounts. checked one of the dating sites I don't use but it has my profile on because I had joined one of its sister sites. One guy from a local town has checked me out 14 times in one day !!..........I sent him a message

wow 14 views !! either you have a bad memory and don't remember who you already looked at or perhaps you like what you see. (no rude pics)...Hmmm when I have finished this I shall go see if he has replied or even just looked again.

then while I was looking at emails oh and blogs I was on chopski's blog at the time I get a window open up and Neptune is chatting. earlier in the week I had been exchanging messages with him whilst chatting to Sammy. I gave Neptune my msn address and we began chatting. I showed him a picture from last week's quiz. I don't think it is a good picture of me as I was moving (laughing) at the time. He commented that I looked different in this picture. We chatted for a while then he said he had to go and sleep, I didn't mind as I had a headache and it was getting late. I figured that I wouldn't hear from him again. before I began chatting on msn I had changed my picture from the usual one (which shows a lot of cleavage) to

I had heeded all sammy's instructions ( I knew this anyway I had worked it out for myself) about not letting Neptune know about my sexual side. Not until I am secure, if that ever happens. anyway I needn't worry as after seeing the picture from the quiz he had lost interest, or so I thought. I decided that I would not try to contact him, if he was interested he would contact me. In the past few weeks we had been in contact virtually everyday. by today I had heard nothing from him for 4 days so obviously he is no longer interested. But I was wrong. Just like last saturday he was asking what i have planned and talked about the next social event I have signed up for. He was trying to pin point where the pub is, he knows parts of the city, he was involved with a woman from the city for a few years. then we talked about TV and I was saying I don't watch it. I was a little stunned when he said did that mean if he comes to my place he won't be allowed to watch match of the day. ahem that was presumptous thinking he would come to my house. firstly I wouldn't introduce any man to my kids until we had been together for a quite a while. secondly I would expect that if he came to my house it would be to see me not bloody match of the day !!!

But its nice to know that he is thinking along those lines. I am playing it cool, just chatting as friends nothing more and when I had to go offline to fetch #3 son I just said it had been nice chatting (nothing about chatting again) I hope you are all proud of me cos I am.

Oh and as I wasn't expecting to hear from him the cleavage picture was on show. Once we began chatting I didn't change the picture or mention it as I didn't want to draw attention to it. He didn't mention it either. Most men say ..........wow love the picture!! if I take it down they ask for it back. I just wonder what he thought of it. It does show me laughing so it is good for that reason as well as the cleavage.......maybe I shall crop it it one day then post it on here.

my disobedience must be punished

my dear sir ******, knight of tarnished armour, lord of my very being, master of the very senses that make up my body and soul
I was sorely bereft at not being able to fully enjoy our time together and that we had to cut short our enjoyment of each others company due to my incapacity. I was so upset that I had to be so ill today of all days, I must admit that I very nearly did cancel but I did everything I could to ensure that I could at least meet with you for as long or as short a time as I could manage.It was indeed a very odd mixture of feelings that I experienced throughout our union of minds. From the very instant I was in your company I just wanted to kiss you, I was a little disappointed when you chose to sit across the table from me rather than by my side. But perhaps you made the right choice. Had you been sat beside me I would have found it hard to keep a modest show of decorum I so wanted to taste your lips and feel your body so close to mine. But all the while I was having these delicious but frustrated feelings I was also on the verge of wanting to run to the nearest water closet and introduce it to the remains of my stomach contents. I think my desire to be in your company for as long as I could manage, overrode the desire to run. I did indeed put myself to my bed the moment I returned home. I lay there in my suffering wishing that I was covered not by my duvet but by your body, your arms and mouth caressing me until the bad feelings had dissipated. My mind rerunning all of our short time together loving th feel of your hands and not wanting to withdraw from you when you had my hand between both yours caressing both my palm and the back of my hand simultaneously willing you to keep hold of my hand for as long as possible but also wishing you would lean across the table and plant a kiss on my waiting lips. When you walked me to my car my heart was sinking that our time together had not been as we both had been longing it to be. I know I must be patient and wait until you are free from your duties so that we may indulge ourselves further and come to know the pleasures that I now know I sorely long for with every fibre of my being. When we kissed I was well aware that our passion was being witnessed by the arrival of a car loaded with passengers just a few feet from where we were stood however I did not care what they might think, all I cared for was the feel of your lips and the gentle probing of your tongue, accompanied by the feel of your hands on my body, so gentle, so sensuous. the memory of your hands and lips stayed with me all the while I was in my sickbed. When I received the text alerting me to your email I was frustrated that I couldnt rush to my pc and read what you had written, please god let it be a favourable account of your wishes. When I got the second text alerting me to your next email I was most disturbed. All that I could read was :My down fall ......I pray for your forgiveness for I have What had you done ? I was beside myself what on earth could it be? had you done something which had caused the discovery of our meeting...was this to be an untimely end to our union?I forced myself out of bed to read your email and was much relieved and assured when I had read your email in its entirety.I wait with the certainty that our next encounter can only be better than this our first. I wait with bated breath for my body to be ravaged by you my kind hearted master, lord knight of my world. Please I beg of you do not keep me waiting unduly for your words of acceptance of my wishes to give myself utterly and comletely to your will and the satisfaction of your desires.
I leave you now until the next time my sweet lord of my desiresyour lady slut *****

My Lady my joy my fair concubine
From the bottom of my heart I truly wish that this finds you bettered and risen from your sick bed and I thank you for your determination in reaching our rendezvous. It was, although brief a joy as now I am able to see you as you are in my mind and soak you into my subconscious. I am sad to have sat opposed to you in the hostelry of our meeting for it would have be joyous to experience a loss of decorum from you, but sadly and rightly you conducted yourself with the utmost grace. Although we ate nothing, I had a veritable feast sitting as I did in front of you instead of beside. My eyes searched your lovely kind face and devoured it. I wanted to kiss your sweet eyes your throat your lips and had I not sat as I did I would not have enjoyed your beautiful ample cleavage which I dearly desired to see more of and kiss and caress its soft fluidity. I could have lunged across the table to dive into its glorious crease to drown in your soft depths. I wished to suck your fingers, your painted nails like a harlot, bright fiery red. I wanted to feel your elegant sensual thumb in my mouth and slide my tongue over its well shaped sharp hard nail. Holding your hand was consolation for the desires I had for you. I wanted to have you on the table curvaceously naked and eat you all up with my hop scented mouth. Every inch of you I would have reached and damn the consequences of on lookers as they in turn would have become aroused at the passion in my feasting. I appear to have undone you my Lady, insomuch as you offer yourself up to me utterly, relinquishing all vestiges of self into my control. I do so humbly accept you body and soul my Lady, and am honoured indeed to have your favour and wait for a time when you might give yourself so completely to the satisfaction of my desires and wishes. When we meet again I should like you to be unreservedly provocative. I should like to see the slut in you let off the leash. Show me a side of you that in polite circumstances would be held silent in your mind. Tell me now how you might honour your promise to your master. Tell me now how you would wish a meeting of our minds and bodies to resolve itself. Tell me how you would serve you Liege dutifully and how you would wish to commune with him. Tell me how you might adorn your lovely ample mature body to show yourself off to your liege, your Knight who stands erect in the proud knowledge he has won his fair maiden. Expose yourself more deeply and reveal the depth of your desire to be my Lady *****. my perfect Queen, my unreserved slut. I wish to see you in all your sexual colours, elegant, sexual, deprave, beautiful and totally desirable to your Sir ***** :-x

My own trusted master of my soul
truly I am grateful to you for rescuing your maiden from this life of promiscuity to be the very center of your desires and wishes. It heartens my very soul to read your words that do describe your feelings of desire for the woman who was sat opposing you whilst you drank from your vessel that which caused your soft lips to taste of hops. Had I indeed known of your desire to have my digits with bright red painted tallons sucked and licked whilst we devoured the very sight of each other in this place where there were others who were oblivious then not only would my hand have found its way to your face first to caress and learn the softness and contours of your skin before sliding within your adorable and endearing lips but whilst doing so I should most certainly have felt the dampness between my thighs turn to a certain wetness whilst feeling the shudder of desire increase and turn to a trembling only to result in the cumming of great flooding. Wishing with my heart and soul that you had in fact been sat beside me whilst our bodies were turned towards eachother in that we would be facing one another at very close proximity without the barrier being that of wooden table between us. I could then have guided your hand towards my maidenhead where you would have been without doubt acquainted with the evidence of my desire for yourself my lord, my knight of my honour.It is my wish that I could turn back time to the hour of our meeting so that we could have again our expected feast whilst my health was in its current state of wellbeing. However I do believe that I would still have found that eating food offered up by our host to be highly indegestible as I would surely have wanted to feast upon my master in preference to any feast offered upon the pages that were placed upon the table for our perusal. In my state of ill health I was so touched and aroused by the presence of my knight my lord that had I been in possession of good health I am most certain I should have had great desire to vacate our table to find a more suitable or at least appealing venue for the feasting of our bodies one to the other in our desire to become one at least in part.Had I been in good health I would most certainly have been attired more in the manner to which I had intended for our first meeting. My intention had been for you to be able to inspect my shapley patella sheathed in black stockings below a loose flowing red skirt which when standing reaches a little above those patella for which you have expressed your admiration on several occasions, most notable the very first missive to catch my attention before we had become aquainted as we did through written conversation.you have requested my description of my intentions for our next meeting. This my lord and master shall be given to you in detail but not I fear on this occasion. first I wish to spend some delicous time speculating and dreaming of our next rendevouz before imparting the details to yourself. If it does please yourself good master to allow me the luxury of time to let my imagination do the work which will result in a more fluid description than if I was to voice my feeling for our devouring of each other without that luxry.
until I have learnt from your written word to me that I have your premission to take some time to allow my imagination the lisence it requires to be able to offer upto you such words as I may find to descibe my desires for our fulfillment. If my master does please, you may set a timetable by which I must stick to bring to your attention my words. please be firm with me as I feel I must be punished for falling short in my ability to give you the satisfaction that you had deserved from our first rendevouz. It is entirely the fault of your lady slut that we neither of us were able to take leave of the other feeling fully sated from our wishes and desire for that time. for this reason you must state what my punishment must be so that it may be known to any of the public who have born witness to our fantastic and ongoing mind fuck that we are both of a mind to not only continue this communion of word but to bring our appetite for feasting upon eachother to a crescendo of sensations in our coming together at a time and place decreed by my master, lord holder of my desires to be completely within your control.
your very own maiden, lady ***** Slut of the highest order


My Lady ***** ( I do adore that name)
Your permission is easily sought My Lady, as I hold you in great regard and trust your judgment in knowing that your words once gestated with your creative mind will flow with the most eloquent sensuality. You have until the end of the Sabbath day that I may rise with the dawn of the new week and devour your mind from the page. As for your perception that punishment is due to you for your failing to do yourself justice and to honour me in the attire that I desired of you for our meeting, I shall meter out as many lashings of my hand upon your ample buttock as you lay across my knee as you believe you deserve for your failing. If I disagree with the number so chosen I may be forced to double it and leave you with a deserved glow upon your being. However if you feel this punishment insufficient for the disgrace befallen of you you must inform me that I may look to my soul and see what in addition I may meter out. I shall not write again until you have done your duty. I await your words Lady and woe betide you fail me. Sir ***** your master to be obeyed :-x

Sir *****, master of my destiny, lord of my maidenhood
Your lady having returned from being abroad fulfilling my duties to my immediate relatives is most gratified to find evidence of your judgement of myself. I accept thy punishment and suggest that perhaps 6 may be an appropriate number of lashings as whilst I feel that I was in the wrong for not completing my duty to yourself there were indeed mitigating circumstances why this was so. however if my lord feels that mitigating circumstances or no there were no excuses for being so remiss of my duty to satisfy your eyes with my elegant but provacative appearance. then I accept your decision that you must apply the rule of double punishment upon my soft ivory buttocks that they may be changed to glowing pink hue with a stinging which would remind myself for sometime to come how remiss I had been in order to merit such punishment. I am my lord your servant and therefore under your control and judgement. I know with a certainty from witnessing the kindness of your countenance that you would only subject your lady to a punishment that you feel is warranted by the severity of my failing in my duty to you.
I shall now go and give my attention to the details of our next meeting, would it please my master to give me an idea of when this might likely take place. I am impatient for to feast my eyes upon your countenace and allow my fingers the pleasure of touching you in places that will burn from the heat of the exchange. would our meeting again be during the meal time set for the middle of the daylight hours or perhaps later in the day when we could perhaps have more time to enjoy the sharing of our passion. Or perhaps it would please my lord to meet earlier and continue later. I have a fancy to meet for an alfresco snack before going onto somewhere a little warmer and comfortable for the main course of our repast.
I shall await further instruction whilst I continue with my musings which will be revealed to you in their entirety before the conclusion of the sabbath. If however I fail to fulfill this instruction I am sure that I shall be called forth to recieve sentence for my punishment for my disobedience. I must now rearrange my clothing following the gushing flood caused by my constant images of yourself which do invade my mind quite unbidden but most particularly whilst I am in communication with you my lord, master owner of my body and soul.
I am glad you have expressed adoration of the name given to me........maybe I was named after some of the great ladies in history. I may not be worthy of the name as much as they, save for in the heart and soul of my master
your lady slut ***** in shame lest my obedience not be satisfactory to yourself

Sweet lord master of my humble existence
It is with alarm that I have realised. whilst mulling over the contents of my most recent offering for your consumption, I found that I had been neglectful. how could this have been? How could I have missed the mention that I would be fully understanding that my punishment would only be complete if you felt that it important for my part to remain mute throughout from the very moment of our meeting until you were fully satisfied that I had undergone my punishment to your complete and full satisfaction. I shall follow your instructions without dispute or murmur. whilst it hit me that I must with immediate effect put this omission right it then occurred to your lady that the tap which had begun to trickle and then gush was in no way connected to the kitchen sink at which your lady was standing at that time.
please forgive this release of moisture without your permission to do so.
I remain your lady, mistress of your complete pleasure in waiting

part two

very interesting so you do like to partake of fresh air when the elements are inviting......mmmmm interesting choice ******not far from a particular venue where I may or may not have indulged in the former mentioned activities....finding that certain activities prevent the noticing of the temperature that others may find chilly. maybe we could discuss further the merits of such activities and venues during the consumption of a midday meal at the hostelry first suggested by yourself mmmm I think maybe you are right that the presence of paparazzi would not be required being as such exposure could cause undo exposure in a way which would be unwanted by either myself who has family ie sons, mother etc to think of or yourself who has a 20 yr attachment to consider I do have transport.....in the disguise of a red ***** the name on my birth certificate is indeed spelt * * * * * * *


How wondrous...........Lady Yes, I do indeed enjoy the elements and find they conspire to add to the occasion and am pleased to find you take similar enjoyment from them. It is heart warming to understand that a venue suitable for activities afore mentioned is not too distant From the said hostelry and to discover that you may know it of experience is ENORMOUSLY gratifying, which I think you may in turn find gratifying too. It thrills me also to understand that certain activities you elude to counteract the effects of exposure otherwise felt if not distracted. Heaven forbid that you should find yourself compromised with your family and I with my long standing attachment. We should contrive together to obviate any such occurrence should we not? If however, the desire for intimate exposure should fall upon us, perhaps you might permit, with unquestioned discretion of course, the occasional digital capture of subjects or events for both our pleasures during those solitary moments of communion famine? I am pleased you have transport, and hasten to add that it being an ******* might be construed highly appropriate. But I should not jest, as my mode of transport is no less or more salubrious in it's guise as a *****. It pleases me that you seem to find the ******* an acceptable venue to further discuss the merits activities of a very private nature and also the venue for such joyous activity. If half past noon on Friday 1st December is of interest to you, we could enjoy the food and the wine and hope the pleasure of sharing verbal discourse might introduce a discourse of an entirely different and celebratory nature. I remain as ever ...... Sir


sir It is indeed most gratifying to realise that you harbour a wish to establish a connection with myself at 30 minutes after midday on the last day of this working week that being the first day of the last month in the year that is now 2006. A light meal with accompanying conversation being most acceptable however I would have to depart in good time to traverse the lanes leading between the agreed hostelry (which by the way I have never visited before) and the institution of education where my youngest child will be spending the greater part of the anniversary of his birth. the idea of lashings of jam and cream whilst also being very tempting would I fear have to wait for another occasion assuming the success of this first scheduled meeting. pray tell if there is any particular preference for the required attire for the occasion agreed. or would there be complete license for free will in this matter. yours truly lady ******* slut



My Dear Lady you beautiful desirable Slut Gratifying indeed and harbour I do the desire to establish a connection with you. I feel the alchemy quite strong having experienced the gift of the light reading you sent me. Light I fear too nonchalant a remark to make of a work of such rewarding intimacy. But that is not our purpose here. Our purpose is to look to the hour of twelve and thirty minutes on the first day of our final month in 2006 where we might sit before each other and imbibe of the vitals of the establishment, which I understand you have never frequented. I trust however that you know of its whereabouts? I look forward with utmost pleasure at the prospect of devouring you visually and pray it be a feast of such intensity for both of us requiring an urgent encore where upon we might indulge our passion for the promised lashings of jam and cream with an intimacy so intense as to render us both utterly spent but still desirous of one another. But wait up, I precede myself and events, but let me just say that where attire is concerned, something becoming of an elegant woman in a public space would be fitting, but that her femininity and sensuality are not denied her companion but kept to a level of decorum fitting the environment. A tasteful display of cleavage would be well received and would the joy and titillation of a good pair of elegant knees. If at any stage proceedings took on a more intense direction a provocative personal but very private display might be very well received. I dare say you will look elegantly beautiful what ever you choose to enthrall me in. I on the other hand will be waring jock strap and gaiters!!!!!!! You wish I wish you youngest child the happiest day of his life in celebrating the anniversary of his birth. It excites me to know you are a mother and devotedly so. Yours with increasing evidence of lust and passion for you Sir :-x