update

Apart from the few text on saturday I have not heard from Sammy, he had said he would try to be online on sunday evening. He had said that eveything will be back to normal after tuesday so maybe he will be online tonight but I have my writing class tonight. I have now given up on the idea of him being my final fling. I just can't see it happening. It could only be at a weekend, there are not many of these left before xmas and I can't see it happening at all if we have not met before then.

I spoke to Forest very briefly yesterday, he has been manically busy. I couldn't chat for long as I was just about to take #4 son to the Dr's (he had been sent home from school with stomach cramps and nausea....the pain being in the region of his appendix).

I didn't hear from Neptune yesterday although he was back at work. He had told me on monday that he had been looking at new pc's to replace his one that has given up.

I went onto AFF last night just to check something out. I found that I have 11 new messages even though I have not been online for so long. One of these messages (the only one I looked at) was from Mr Passionate. Hes hoping we can get to see each other soon. I left him a reply but still didn't tell him that I won't be seeing him again. However I woke up about 1.10am and decided to text him that I miss him. (he doesn't finish work until around 2.30/3am). so that was the start of a text conversation catching up. Not easy when half asleep and only one eye open. crumbs I just looked there were 9 text from him so I must have replied 9 times. I have now told him that I have been asked to stay on at work until march which means I have to save 4 out of my 5 1/2 days leave for the christmas shut down. Therefore making it very difficult to see him. The only reason I was able to see him last time was because I was already staying in a local hotel for the night and he called in on his way home from work but had to leave in time to get home before his wife woke up. (by the way he thinks it would be a waste if I give up sex....he also says that when/if I ever get around to letting Neptune know about my sexual side........' he's in for a treat then, as you have an extremely sexual side ;-)x ' )

Swinger? hmmmm I got more non personal emails from him last night. I am still waiting for him to be ready to answer questions but I have waited a year so I can wait still. It would be just typical if he decides to chat tonight when I am at my class.

I think Oxo has finally got the idea that he can ask as many times as he likes I still won't go to his place any more. I saw him come online but he didn't chat, thats a first!!

spanner in the works

last week I was saying that men are strange

I have now not heard from Sammy since 21/10/07

since telling Oxo that I would not be seeing him any more as I am not going to be indulging in casual sex anymore. What we had was good but it wasn't what I now want. the odd thing is that when I was seeing him he only ever chatted online as a prelude to asking me over which was probably about once every couple of weeks. But since I told him I wasn't going to be going over he has been chatting nearly every night and still asking me to go over there.

today I was asked by another blogger to define casual. To me casual sex means any sex that is not within a steady relationship. It could be a one night stand or it could be a series of nights like I had with Oxo who isn't a partner I am having a relationship with.

You can tease me and test me as much as you like but I won't be having sex unless it is within a relationship.

hmmm now I feel strongly about this. My playing the field was only ever meant to be a temporary situation whilst I was not ready for a LTR. Now I am ready and if that means being celibate until I find the right person well at least I have my new friend.

But last night a spanner was thrown into the works with the reappearance in my life of someone who could make a big difference to everything. watch this space.............

men are strange

what is it with men?

Sammy has gone into hiding........not heard from him since last weekend at which point he was wishing I was at his place only he had his teenage daughter staying for a few days. I text him in the early hours last night

what happened to the offer of a pillow.......at this rate my electric toothbrush will be worn out before I get any action.

hes not been online or text all week
he normally tells me if hes going to be away.


Neptune has gone missing too
We have been exchanging messages at least once or twice a day on the dating site for the past couple of weeks. On thursay I didn't reply to his message. friday morning he found me on msn before work. told me all about the program on spiders that he had see the night before because he knows I have currently got a thing about spiders. But I have heard nothing from him since. I sent a very brief message on saturday evening. But I can tell from the site that he has not yet read it. He has not even logged onto the site since saturday lunchtime. He is usually on there every few hours. seems very odd to me.

Oxo has not gone missing. He is chatting to me now. First time since I told him I wouldn't see him any more. Hes been quite friendly but did try telling me things wont work with new man. Now hes trying to persuade me to go see him NOW!!

don't worry, new man will never find out

funny thing is that Oxo has lived most of his life in the same town that Neptune lives in now. OMG how awful would that be if by some strange coincidence they knew each other. Oxo has only been where he is now for 4 years.

Not heard from Forest for over a week now either but nothing odd about that.


Update

mystery solved Neptune having computer problems at home, sent message from work today.

Forest has been chatting most of this evening.

cam can be fun

I had forgotten how much fun it can be.
It was taking for ages to get online...........in the end it took 5 bloody hours of logging on before it stopped freezing.
Sammy was sending text messages
mmmmmmmm I do enjoy his texts
he even persuaded me to send him a picture or two........... Oh well maybe I should admit I didn't need much persuading
I do like to tease him and he is very appreciative
Then I got online eventually and there he was waiting for me ;-)
more teasing and more pictures
Finally no one was using my computer in my room so I swapped computers, it was about 10.30pm by then
I changed ready for bed in a pink satin chemise
I'm not sure why but I put my web cam on even though he hadn't asked
It was the first time he had seen me on web cam as I don't normally use it for anyone
I can't be bothered to go through the scenario of guys asking to see my boobs etc and me saying no, so I just don't use it
but last night I did and I enjoyed his enthusiasm just for seeing me
he loved to see my smile
told me I oozed sexuality ( I think he lies)
we talk, we flirt, we tease, we have fun
he watches as I rub baby oil on my legs
hes really enjoying that, so feeling naughty I start to rub the oil all over my breasts too
now hes really getting excited
the more excited he gets the more I am loving it
by now I am getting wet and it isn't just the baby oil
I'm sending him more pictures, he gets to see some that no one else has seen
I start to play
another friend comes online........
a friend I hadn't spoken to for a while
so there I am having a normal conversation in one window
and playing for Sammy in the other window
this made it even more fun for me, it wasn't long before I came
He says he is determined to make sure that we get together
I have told him that it will have to be soon or it may never happen
We talked about Neptune
I said if things work out with Neptune then I won't be seeing anyone else including him
Sammy says that even though it would mean he misses out he really hopes it works out with Neptune, he really wants me to be happy
Isn't he sweet

Sammy

I don’t think I have told you much about Sammy. Of course I met him on That site. The one I am no longer on (neither is he). We exchanged messages for a few days then moved onto email and msn addresses at which point there was a misunderstanding. You can read about that here and here. He was very apologetic and like a fool I forgave him. We chatted fairly often after this for a few months. I sent him some of my fantasies which he enjoys reading very much. It was never on the cards for us to meet as he lives in Essex, although I do or rather did know some of the area where he lives as my grand parents lived in the area when I was a child, so I have fond memories of holidays there.

In the lead up to my spanking I had been chatting to Sammy so he knew what was going to happen. He knew about Forest and that I had arranged for Forest to come to the hotel to kiss me better after my spanking. The next morning when I was feeling sleepy I was online and thought I was telling Sammy all about the night before and how I had spent my time in the hotel room with 3 different men over the course of 16 hours. Only I hadn’t looked very closely at the name of the man I was chatting to. That’s when I discovered that I was actually talking to Fireman Sam. Some introduction eh? I didn’t speak to Sammy for a few weeks until after my second visit to see Fireman Sam, I was online when I thought it was Fireman Sam chatting again but it was Sammy.

Since then our chats have got more and more personal. Quite some time ago Sammy had said that he would love to meet me but because of the distance I didn’t give it much thought. Then a few weeks ago, we were chatting, he was about to go abroad for a few days with his work, a slip of the finger and I found that I had agreed to meet him which hadn’t been what I had meant to say. I just hoped that he would forget about it while he was away. He returned and we chatted as normal. Then I had the big upset over Forest. Sammy was a great, he kept me chatting for hours he sympathised but also coached me in how to behave in the future so that I wouldn’t have the same problem. I had recently begun chatting to Neptune, Sammy has been helping me to behave myself and not reveal too much of my sexuality to Neptune. I am taking it very slowly with Neptune.

I had by now made my decision that I didn’t want the NSA lifestyle anymore and no matter how long it takes I am going to be a good girl. Well I would be once I had had my goodbye fun with Mr Passionate. One night we were chatting and he went quiet (he had said he was tired) I don’t know why but I left him a message with my mobile number. He didn’t use it. But a few days later we were chatting and I tried to persuade him to describe himself to me that when I received the cock picture on my phone. Later followed by a head and shoulder picture of him. Over the last few weeks we have chatted often although not every day on msn. He went abroad again and I missed him. I text to ask when he was back. He had come back that day. Since then the hot text have been going back and forth. Following Friday’s hot and horny post (which was really Thursday) we exchanged more text on Friday. I had more or less decided that I want to have a final fling by meeting Sammy. This morning I text him and we have agreed that we both want to meet, we both know it can’t be more than just this one meeting for hot passionate sex.

Well I can’t argue with logic like that can I? will look forward to enjoying your body and mind!!! Definitely would love to lay down next to you ;-)
He tells me that he is always horny thinking about me.

For example I am at my desk a work my legs wide imagining you under my desk stroking my skin licking and sucking me in secret. It’s making me very hard.

While I am waiting at the check out to pay for my weekly shop I get this

Have I ever told you. You are a very horny woman very sensual and sexy. You also have a very dirty mind and that’s not a bad thing either ;-)

Now we just need to work out when we are going to arrange this. I am hoping that it will be either next weekend or the weekend after.

hot and horny

It’s quiet with just the soft murmur of my radio playing in the corner of the room. I have been trying to do some work on my computer as I sit perched at the end of my bed. I had earlier chatted to him, the one I had wanted to give my heart to. We are friends again now. I catch the words of a song drifting across the room……. I took a chance on loving you……..yes that’s what I did……….

If you’re a piece of wood I’d nail you to the floor
If you’re a house I would live in you all my days
If you’re a river I would swim you,


Yes this was how I felt until those words he used to crumple my dreams. Suddenly I am tired and lean back on my bed eyes closed for a few minutes.

I am shocked awake as my phone bleeps with the arrival of a text. Instinctively I know who it is.

Good morning, a question for you. If you suddenly thought of my tongue working its magic on your pussy right now would your juices start to flow?

How did you know? I shift slightly as I feel the heat spreading

So if I was under you licking and sucking your pussy you would be very wet. Well maybe you should stop thinking about me doing it then. Did I say my cock is hard?

You did now mmmmm

I am leaning back now hand inside my thong gently touching where I want him to be touching.

You shouldn’t keep thinking about me enjoying your body when you are working. Still try not to think about my throbbing shaft while eating your sausage at lunch x

The text messages keep arriving, I let him know I am at home now laying semi naked on my bed letting my fingers play among the soft wet folds of my lips.

Mmmm wonderful you can have a play. Oh imagine how it would be if I was there laying with you now!

Mmmm sounds heavenly. Very wet now imagining I have a tongue to die for lapping up my love juice while I give my attention to your hard cock.

More messages as my fingers delve deep inside me now as I get wetter and wetter with my desire for his body here with me, feet up on the corner of the bed knees pointing up towards the ceiling my hips thrusting up as my fingers find just the right spot. The ability to breathe escapes me as I feel the shudder of my first orgasm wrack my trembling body. Deep breaths, calm myself before continuing this very unexpected exchange.

Well it’s nice to have made you feel hot and horny ;-) even better if I made you orgasm too. You really are one hell of a sexy woman ;-)

The words of another song are drifting from my radio

Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side
Oh, it's what you do to me

Oh yes it’s the things you do to me but how can this be we have never even met and I don’t know if we ever will. You have never sent me any hot text messages before so why now.


We both know that there is no future for us but for now this is what we both want.

Later, much later, I text him

I had a very hot and horny experience today. did you do anything memorable?

I did something amazing today. I made a very sexy woman very hot, very horny and very wet. I also gave a gorgeous lady a huge orgasm and all without touching ;-) x

really weird

I have two days off work now

I had planned to see Mr Passionate in the middle of the day for one last time.

I had agreed to see Oxo in the evening so he can take a look at my pc (we have no sound) then he was planning to fight his way into my cervix. He has a variety of plans to try to make my cervix big enough to take more of him in. (I'm not so sure this is a such a good idea). we have great sex anyway but he still feels aggreived that he can't get much of his length inside my cervix.

Mr Passionate has text to say he can't make it as he has to look after his wife who was in a car accident a couple of days ago. Damn that means I either have to make other arrangements to see him or else tell him by email or text that I am giving him up. He already knows I am giving up having FwBs. I think he believes that I will find it very hard to give him up, which it is.

So I figure I shall go to the gym instead.

tonight after my writing class I found a text from Oxo calling off thursday night, he has to go to work on friday after all (so our plans of a lazy friday morning in bed are scuppered). Which is ok as my mum called earlier asking me to go with her to look at another home for my grandad (hes declining rapidly and can't stay where he is much longer).

Oh and incidentaly I forgot to say the original reason for taking these days off were that last winter I won a make over for myself and a friend at a studio in covent garden. I decided to take my mum as she needed something to look forward to. we have posponed this so many times they must think we will never get there. This should be this friday and suprise suprise I ahve to cancel again!

I was reading the comments earlier on my blog about forest being dangerous for me as I am not able to fuck like a man (without emotion involved). I was going to reply that it is hardly an issue as I have not seen hide nor hair of him since last tuesday. So naturally as soon as I log onto msn after my writing class he is the first person I see online. Soon we are chatting. I mention that I have 2 days off work. I decide to see what he will say. he asks me what I am doing. I tell him that my plans to see Mr Passionate have fallen through. He sympathises nothing more. Am I pleased or disappointed, possibly both but mostly pleased as I didn't want to be put in the position of having to decide whether to let him see me again or not.

whilst we are chatting #3 son phones asking for a lift home from the city. He ahd gone with a friend to see #1son's band playing at a venue in the city. It was arranged that #3 son would get a lift home with his friend's dad. when the time came to leave #3 son wanted to stay for one more song so his friend left without him. He made his way to the station to find there were no more trains tonight. Apparently there is a reason why he couldn't get a lift home with his big brother!!! any way I go get some more petrol and set off. Finally I find my son and we are travelling through the city when I cant believe my ears. Each night a romantic dinner for two is awarded to someone who has written in to the show. when I heard the name of tonight's winner there was no way it could be anyone else, the surname is so unusual and it was the right city (not the one I was driving through). tonight's winner was Jasper (GB)'s wife, they then played her favourite song which I even found myself singing along to how weird did that feel.

Last night when Sammy was going to bed he said he would chat again in a few days, so I had no expectation of chatting to him tonight. However I was suprised to receive a couple of very hot text from him (he doesn't often text). I am hoping to spend a day/night in Essex with him in the near future (my final fling).

busy little bee

I came online to write up my homework for tomorrow

I still have not done that

I finally made a decision about the book that I shall be trying to write

I now know what it will be about, where it starts, how far back it will go, the format and where it will be going and most important who the main character is

I have chatted online, by email, by phone and by text

Sammy has returned from a trip to Spain so it was nice to talk to him

Oxo is going to have a look at my pc on thursday to see if he can rectify the missing sound (he has some other plans too)

Having chatted to Sammy and Oxo I was somewhat suprised to find myself chatting to Fireman Sam as he winds down after a busy shift

I have told him that I am giving up the FWB lifestyle

He wants me one more time first before I do

I am going to tell Mr Passionate when I see him that this is the last time.

Its odd but I have been feeling semi lonely in the last week but out of all the men in my life the one I have wnated to be with is the one I have not met. I chatted to forest and Neptune but it was Sammy I wanted to chat to most.