the contents of my hand bag

I have been tagged by Vi to give you a list of what is in my hand bag. I have 4 bags but the one I am using currently a black cloth sack bag contains the follwing items or at least it did until I emptied it over my bed.

Pink Motorola mobile phone
Black Samsung mobile phone
Pink mp3 player
Jackie Collins book (a little light reading)
Note book
Reading glasses and case (never remember to wear them)
Black purse – debit card
Driving license
RAC membership card
Credit card with no credit
12 bank receipts + 5 electricity receipts
£17 plus coppers and a few silver coins
hairbrush
ASDA receipt from this morning (food plus a new dress and a top) it was my birthday money
Argos receipt from this morning (mini stepper)
National Trust brochure
New box of extra spearmint gum
Cheque book (only one cheque left)
Wad of car insurance quotes
Pack of condoms
Pack of pain relief tablets
Diary (not much in it as can never find it)
Ferry brochure
02 mobile phone top up card
tube of lubricating jelly (well used)
wad of tissues
assorted receipts
stick of 4head (headache relief)
pair of cuff links in a box (my grandad’s) been there for months
digital camera (flat battery)
T mobile top up card
Party invitation for last Friday (#4 son)
6 loose wrapped humbugs
dead AAA battery
3 lipsticks ( 1x red 1x pale pink 1x bright pink)
nail varnish (pale pink) thought the red one was there too but don’t know where that is now
3 dead maltesers (#4 son put box in my bag on easter Sunday)
1 pen
5 loose mints

well I hate to think what that lot tells you about me.