spitting nails!!!

A few weeks ago delightful Prada Pixie invited some of her blogger friends to a christmas party as her place. Lovely Vi suggested saturday 1st December which was agreed by Pixie and several others. Now I have a problem, I would love to go, I have become friends with Pixie, we give each other support by email and telephone. But 1st December is my youngest son's birthday. So a few weeks ago I began to negotiate with him. every year he wants a party but it has not often been possible. I have said that if he doesn't make a fuss and allows me the opportunity to go to this party which would involve an overnight stay, he gets to have a party. I have said he can have a party on the friday or even the sunday, I would be home with him until mid afternoon on saturday and be back on sunday. He is not happy. Now my yongest son is not a small child he will be 12 going on 17.

At the beginning of the week SF came on the phone to talk to me about the kids. I mentioned to him that I want to arrange a party for youngest and was considering asking if we could do a joint party with his new best friend who he goes home from school with most days. This boy NBF was born on the same day and youngest first met him last year as SF is friends with the family (I don't know them at all). Grudgingly I told SF that I had been invited to a party that night and wanted to go but also wanted to make sure youngest has a good birthday.

A few days ago youngest came home from NBF's, SF had spoken to the family and they have agreed that a joint party will be arranged SF and NBF's family will pay half each (even better I'm thinking). Laser quest at the same place I went to here. for 10 kids that will be £100!!! now I'm thinking that is way too much to spend on a party. Yesterday youngest said he doesnt really want to do laser quest he wants to do crazy golf. Ok I can go with that ...take a few kids to crazy golf then macdonalds or somewhere like that. Only problem is ...............will we find a crazy golf that is open at that time of year?

Anyway I am chatting with youngest about various things. He mentions that SF has said now hes having a party mummy can go to her party. Shock horror SF is doing this for me. Youngest says he still doesn't really want me to go but he will let me. But that SF thinks I am being selfish not being there on the night of his birthday. Now this is where I start spitting nails!!!

How can he say such a thing.........this is the man who when the boys were young he never once saw any of the boys on their birthdays. Once or twice he was away working, but mostly he would finish work and go straight to the pub not returning home until they were in bed asleep. He was never around for any of the birthday parties I had at the house, most of the parties they had at different venues he wasn't around. I can think of 2 birthdays he did. when youngest was 2 months old we had a party for eldest at an indoor soccer venue. then about 4 years ago he took a group of boys bowling whilst I was at work (it was his turn to have half term leave).

Having just worked out that between them our boys will have had 63 birthdays of which I have missed none he has missed most and he thinks I am selfish to want to miss part of my son's birthday. I shall be there when he opens his presents I shall be there until mid afternoon. I shall give him a birthday lunch in place of dinner (they get to choose whatever they want for this meal). He will have his birthday cake. the only thing I wont be here to do is tuck him up in bed which I don't do anymore anyway.