stress relief

Stress Management

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8oz to 20 oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

"In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes
and that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow."

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.


NaiL IN THE FENCE

There once was a little boy who had a bad Temper.

His Father gave him a bag of nails

And told him that every time he lost his Temper,
he must hammer a nail into the back

of the fence. The first day the boy had

Driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next

Few weeks, as he learned to control his

Anger, the number of nails hammered daily

Gradually dwindled down. He discovered

It was easier to hold his temper than to

Drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't

Lose his temper at all. He told his father

About it and the father suggested that the

Boy now pull out one nail for each day that

He was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally

Able to tell his father that all the nails

Were gone. The father took his son by the

Hand and led him to the fence He said, 'You

Have done well, my son, but look at the

Holes in the fence. The fence will never be

The same. When you say things in anger,

They leave a scar just like this one. You

Can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say I'm

Sorry, the wound is still there.

' A verbal

Wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They

Make you smile and encourage you to succeed.

They lend an ear, they share words of praise

And they always want to open their hearts to us.'

Smile

Don't blink or you will miss it!

have a good weekend

Two buddies, Bob and Don, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly
Don throws up all over himself.

"Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!"

Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and
Tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars
for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Don stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. "You
Reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Don says, "Nowainaminit, I
Can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But
Thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz
liquor He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!"

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks.."

"Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too."

Guts and Balls

Distinction between "Guts " and "Balls"

Medical Distinctions

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you reallyknow the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, beingmet by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are youstill cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smellingof perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife onthe butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

CLASS PROJECT GONE WRONG
An elementary school class started a class project
to make planters to take home to their parents.
They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of,
so they decided to use cactus plants.
The students were given green-ware pottery planters
in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze.
The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing
so they could see the process. It was great fun! They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters
and they grew nicely,
but unfortunately,
the children were not allowed to take them home. The cactus plants were removed
and small ivy replaced them
and the children were then allowed to take them home instead. The teacher said cactus' seemed like a good idea at the time! !!!!!!

!
!
May the rest of your day be the best of your day!

When too much is a bad thing

Don't ever complain about your size!!!

I always thought I had too much

Now I feel grateful that I have what I do

You cannot persuade me that any man (normal) would enjoy these

SHOW THIS TO ALL YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS SO THEY CAN APPRECIATE WHAT GOD GAVE THEM....OR PERHAPS WHAT HE DIDN'T GIVE THEM!

Buttons

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.



A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said 'You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.'



He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP, and a red one labeled ATR.



Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this.



Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.....

The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. 'What happened?' he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

'The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.'

MEN NEVER LISTEN

a few peckers

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says,

'Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions.'

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,

'What's your occupation?'

'I'm a Lady of the night,'she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says,

'Let's try to rephrase that.'

The woman says, 'OK, I'm a high-end call girl'.

'No, that still won't work. Try again.'

They both think for a minute; then the woman says,

'I'm an elite chicken farmer.'

The accountant asks,

'What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?'

'Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year'

'Chicken Farmer it is.'

well I never!!

I must have led a very sheltered life. I really had no idea how much you could do with them. I thought there was only one use for them but now I know differently. It certainly was an education for me. Over the course of an hour and a half I held and stroked so many different ones. The first one she placed in my hand I was pleasantly surprised at how soft yet rigid it felt and I could wrap my fingers around its girth and squeeze so easily but without it losing its shape.

Apart from the different things they can do I also discovered that although they are all basically the same shape they come in a variety of lengths ranging from 2” to 15” but the majority were 4”, 6”,7” or 9” a few were 10” or 12” but it was rare to find one that was a whopping 15”. Mostly they were about 1.75” at the core but some were thinner just 1.5”.although some were more padded than others. There were all shades of white, off white, cream, yellow, orange, pink , a few were grey and one was blue!!
Many had lines on them either blue or more often red or pink but some had spots. Some were furry but most were smooth, but all were soft to the touch, some grew hotter than others to the touch as I held them in my hand. Did you know that some have spikes on them too? But I only saw one like that (it was very white, I don’t think it is very popular, apparently best used for rolling on the floor).

So now I would like your opinion, is 9" better than 4" or do you prefer 6" or 7" maybe you like the bigger 15" ones.

VBF just incase you are still none the wiser these are paint roller refills. I'm not sure if you are aware that I work for a wholesale company that sells painting and decorating equipment in the UK.

Well done to those of you who did work it out even if it wasn't immediately obvious to anyone except Nitebyrd.

Isabella's Sex Meme

Isabella’s Sex Meme
Ro has tagged me with this beauty. It seems he's intrigued to know just how kinky I am! The rules of Isabella’s Sex Meme go like this. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme:

1. You must include this link to Sex Talk - Sex Advice for Men.
2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.

3. You must tag three people.


So here goes for what it is worth


1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night

Sex at night or sex in the morning? Oh good I get a choice, that must mean that I am due to get some. For some months now there has been no sex at all or at least not the close physical kind. I have had to make do with either IM or text sex with my Romeo but I know the real deal will be great no matter whether it is at night or in the morning or all the hours in between. Somehow I don’t think we will really notice which part of the day it is.

2. Better Sex Music - Sade or Marvin Gaye


Now I find this a strange question, I can’t say that I have had sex accompanied by either of these artists. I am not sure I would even notice what was playing anyway, but if I were to choose something I guess it would be something relaxing and or sensual, probably neither of the above. I have been known to have the radio playing softly in the background but that is not for the reason of having something to have sex to.

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Videos?


I have never made a Naughty Home video or watched one. Unless you count the ones that were sent to my phone by various men who will remain nameless. I love taking pictures but not explicit ones, I prefer the suggestion of sex rather than the explicit in your face nothing left to the imagination kind. Now I am not saying I will never make a video, I have no interest in watching other people’s but if it was for me and my lover to share that might be different.


4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House?


I had to do some research here. I thought this was a question of choosing between a couple of Dr Phil types but now I feel a fool. Am I the only female in the universe who has never watched ER or Dr House. Possibly, but now that I know this is a choice between Hugh Laurie and George Clooney, well there needs to be no discussion. Sorry Hugh I do think you are lovely, really I do mean that, but I am afraid George does it for me every time. Did I ever mention my date with a George Clooney look alike, he offered to have a threesome with me and his brother………. Can any of you women believe there are two men living within 30 miles of me who have the Clooney looks……… mmmmm very nice, pity the nicest thing about this man was his very nice Mercedes car. ooooppps he wasn’t a bad kisser either.




5. Vibrator or Dildo?


I have a very orange vibrator that may as well be a dildo as it lost it’s vibrate within a few days. To me it is just a chunk of orange rubber that very rarely sees the light of day or should I say the dark of my bed. I much prefer my shiny Lady lust fingers, the feel of cold vibrating metal is such a turn on, and in the hands of the right man there is just nothing like it. For the record I have 4 of these, much better than any rabbit and almost as good as an electric toothbrush.



6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?


Lights off was reserved for those dark nights of misery when I shared my bed with SF for all those years. I need to have light when I am indulging in my favourite sport. I love to watch the reactions of my lover to my every touch and I am not just referring to his face. A low light is good but I much prefer sunlight. What is not to enjoy about the dappled patterns of light dancing on my partner’s body as the light comes through the net curtain as it ebbs and flows in the light breeze from the open window.

7. Word Preference: Pussy or Cunt?


To be totally honest neither, but if I must choose then it would be pussy, although I have been known to utter the word cunt to the delight of my lover who finds this so sexy coming from my mouth as it is not part of my usual vocabulary. I think over use of any word can take away the allure of its original purpose. In my writing I tend to use a variety of terms or even not give any name at all to the part of the body I am referring to. I find it a little disturbing to describe my most private parts using a word just as popular in referring to a feline pet. However the word pussy is I find much more gentle that Cunt which I find a very blunt term for something which is anything but blunt.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?


It was an off the cuff spank during sex with my Mr Sensual that made me realise that the feel of a sharp spank can be very arousing indeed. This in turn led to my well documented ‘spanking’ over the knee of a certain friend. However this was not a sexual partner so you may think this does not count even though it was a very intimate occasion I have never fucked this man. Perhaps this is something I shall have to explore with Romeo.


9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Aeroplane?


I don’t tend to use elevator’s much …….no I am not afraid of them but I prefer to exercise my legs unless of course I was going further than 4 floors which is very rare. Neither have I flown more than the once but perhaps when things get going with Romeo sex on plane travelling first class will be a must. Or perhaps we will try a first class train carriage first. I somehow think that would be more thrilling than a plane. All those bumps as we travel at speed.


10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?


OK now this was a joke question right! Oh it wasn’t ok then but Ron Jeremy is a joke right? Well joke or no joke my sense of humour just cringed at this…..did you see it run under that rock over there? Peter North, now this is much better, well it wouldn’t be difficult to improve on the prospect of Ron now would it. Sorry Ron if by some strange chance you are reading this. But to be honest even Peter doesn’t cut it with me……too chiselled, to plastic looking. Can I just have either George or my own Romeo thanks.

11. Word Preference? Cock or dick?

Dick makes me think of dickhead so no I won’t go with that. Penis or prick are preferable but better yet is cock. I quite like shaft too. But I do like cock especially one that is hard and all mine to play with as I wish.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?

Now I am showing my age in that I remember watching deep throat with my friends many, many years ago and being totally in awe of anyone who could master that. Jenna is a name I am familiar with but have never felt the need to investigate further. I can see that she is stunning although not my idea of a beautiful woman. I have never watched anything she is in as I don’t watch porn…….to me it is too contrived and plastic I prefer to be having sex than watching other people acting it.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?

I have been promised rope a few times, I have had a demonstration of pink bondage tape which was very sexy, but Romeo has promised me pink silk which sounds fun too. I think the act of tying or being tied will be more important than the tools used for the purpose.




14. Give Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?


Giving a rim job is not something that particularly appeals to me although I have been assured tat it is very sensual. Maybe one day, but I can’t see myself thinking ….right today I shall try Rimming, if it happens it is more likely to happen as the natural development of what is already happening between me and my lover.
Anal sex is something I never thought I would like. After all the pain of attempting it has been excruciating. Then Mr Passionate taught me how to relax and enjoy it. I have never experienced anything so exsquisite. The mixture of pain and arousal is a very heady mix indeed, add to that a very passionate and gentle lover, you have an experience of ultimate pleasure.


15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?


getting rich in a skanky bar is never going to happen ………..you can’t get rich stripping for the blind….anyone else would have left the moment the first bars of music began. A call girl for celebs would be both more rewarding and fun but who am I kidding that ain’t never happening either, so I guess I shall stay poor.

16. Which Threesome - Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?


I have tried both with varying degrees of success, a foursome b/g/b/g is much better, but that wasn’t one of the options. I am not averse to B/G/G but would prefer B/G/B who wouldn’t like all the attention from two virile men completely focused on one woman.


17. Flavoured Oil or Tingling Oil?


Having never tried flavoured oil, I cannot really give a balanced argument for either. It is more the slippery slickness that I enjoy, mixed of course with the touch of my lover’s body on my flesh. However I do enjoy tingle lube as I love the coldness it brings to the heat of my arousal.


18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?


I am not a fan of the pearl necklace, but swallowing is the ultimate conclusion of a very satisfying cock sucking. I just love to have that hard cock in my mouth and the knowledge that I have given my lover so much pleasure that he is willing to spill his love juice into my waiting throat is gratifying. But the greatest pleasure is to then share my treasured prize with my lover by giving him a snowball (for those who don’t know it is returning some of the man’s cum to him by way of a very sexy and sensual kiss immediately after he has come).



19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex With a Stranger?


I have never done this but I do have a burning desire to have strangers watch me surreptitiously. I am not sure if I could perform well knowing that I was being watched or having someone blatantly watching but to find out afterwards that someone was peeping now that excites me.

20. Tied to the Bed or to a St Andrew’s Cross?

Oh yes tie me to the bed, I am eager to try this as anyone who has read this blog for more than a year will be aware. I have shared this fantasy with Romeo and he is more than willing to participate in this with me. It seems he has experience in this and has a great desire to tie me so that I can let go and enjoy all the sensations without being given any control over what is happening to me.


Now I have to tag 3 people so I shall choose, Mulder, Percy and Emma