Monday, 26 May 2008

His wife

I have just read Mei Del's post here about lovers of married men and contact between the lover and the wife. This got me thinking about the unexpected telephone call I had from the wife of the man I was madly in love with when I was 22. This affair and everything that happened had a devastating effect on me which lasted 20 years. I thought I would write a post about this phone call but before doing so I checked to see if I had already posted about it when I first began blogging. I had done so here as part of a post about the man I loved so much that it put me off love, this in turn led to me marrying a man I didn't love.
The conversation went something like this.....I will probably not be totally accurate as this happened some 24 years ago.

Hello LIR?

Speaking.... who is this?

Sandy...............I am C's wife (to me she sounded like an old lady)

What do you mean your his wife (I thought this was someone playing tricks on me) he isn't married anymore.

Yes he is he's married to me.

How did you find this number, no one knows I am here except my family

There was a piece of paper in C's case with your phone numbers at home and work with a list of days and times (that was the days I was free so he could phone me, I worked part time as a barmaid in the evenings.) I phoned your home and your brother said you were at your grandparents. I told him it was about C so he gave me the number. (my brother later said that she had been crying and as she sounded older he thought it was C's mother and something had happened to him).

I don't remember how the rest of the conversation went, I was in shock. I was beside myself with all kinds of emotions, the next 2 days until I could speak to C seemed to last forever. The previous time I had seen him he had said that he wanted me to have his child. In my naivety I thought that was his way of saying that he wanted to marry me. this made the phone call from Sandy even more of a shock. Now I am older and wiser I realise that what he really wanted was not another wife but another child. His first wife had taken his daughter away and he never saw her. His second wife, Sandy had two daughters who were now grown up with babies of their own. What C wanted was to be a daddy. At the time I was too blind to see this. I was in love with him and that was all that mattered. This new revelation that he was still married was a shock but I soon came to the conclusion that I loved him too much to give him up.

He convinced me that he didn't love Sandy, that he had rescued her from an abusive husband, taken her and her girls in. She had wanted to get married so he married her because he felt sorry for her. He told me about all the times she tried to harm herself, either cutting her wrists or taking overdoses. Each time they had a row she would do something to get herself put in hospital, he would get a call from the hospital so he would have to go and play the doting husband, he hated it.

Not long after the call, they had another row and he turned up on my doorstep some 80+ miles from his home. He couldn't stay at my parents home so we found a B & B for the night. The next day he got the call to say she was in hospital so off he went again........this went on for a few months. He would leave her, come to me she would injure herself he would go back to her I would hear nothing until the next time. I don't know how I got through these months, even when I wasn't seeing him because he was back with her I was still getting the hate calls from her and her elder daughter Liz. Some of them at 2am, it was affecting my whole family. At least at work all calls came through the switchboard and I was friends with the receptionist, so she screened my calls as much as she could. In January 1985 he came to me this time it was all over he was never going back. we found a bedsit to rent for 3 months and moved in there a few days later. It was 5 minutes walk from my work. It was the first time I had lived away from home, although I had been collecting bits and pieces for years so I had pretty much everything we needed. We had a small kitchenette in our room but had to share the bathroom across the hall. To me it was heaven to be living with the man I loved, our little love nest. It was ok for me as I was working all day but C was bored. So he went off to find work. he didn't return for 11 months. 11 months that saw me on the verge of a breakdown because I kept everything inside, I refused to get upset until I heard from him.

When eventally he did come back he told me that he had had a call from the hospital, he went to visit, but she persuaded him to stay, He hadn't been able to bring himself to tell me he had gone back to Sandy. It took until August 1986 for that episode in my life to be over.

Those two years had taught me that if you love someone you get hurt, so I opted out, I didn't ever want to get hurt so badly again. It was only after I had my Cancer that I realised I had spent twenty years just letting life pass me by. Now I intend to live my life and that includes the risk of getting hurt

Saturday, 24 May 2008



You've got to see this.

First look and see the whale under the water.

Keep your cursor OUT of the picture until you see the whale.

Then move your mouse cursor onto the picture, but stand back; you might get wet (it's like it's 3D).

Click on the picture when it loads completely and be sure that your sound is on

CLICK ON: Worlds Most Dangerous Creature

Thursday, 22 May 2008

I'd love to be eight again


A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

'I'd love to be eight again' she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early and made her a bowl of Coco Pops and jammy toasties!

He took her to Alton Towers and put her on every ride in the park:
* The Death Slide
* The Wall of Fear
* The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

Right away they journeyed to a McDonalds where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milk shake.

Then it was off to the movies: the latest Kiddies three hour epic cartoon, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&Ms What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked

'Well dear, what was it like being eight again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression changed to one of total realisation...'I meant my dress size, you f*cking tw*t !!!'

The moral of this story:

Even when a man is listening, he's still going to get it wrong...

Friday, 16 May 2008

its good to talk sometimes

Now and again I get to be online during the day like I was on and off today as I waited for and then assembled my new bed (once I had destroyed the old one that is). As I sipped my morning cup of tea I was greeted with

morning gorgeous

It was the lovely Thomas, of course he asked why I was at home, just as any man knowing I was getting a new bed he suggested that it needs christening. Of course there is going to be no chance to christen my bed. During the day I am mostly at work and at weekends and evenings the boys are here. Thomas comiserated saying that for him it was work and 'the wife' that get in his way. Hmm never known him to refer to her as 'the wife' before, usually she is the partner. I said that my day will come but for him its not so likely. He agrees but he has been talking to a woman who sent him a picture of herself wearing a strap on. Now I am fairly open minded and each to their own and all that and it was interesting when Freddy was talking about the one he got for S. But the idea doesn't do anything for me. As you are aware I enjoy a bit of adventure but I still think men should be men and women should be women, none of this women wearing strap ons or men wearing stockings ...sorry JJ. Its like vegetarians refusing to eat meat but making vegetable substitutes for meat ie veggie sausages or mince. If you want a sausage then ffs have a sausage .

Anyway I digress. Apparently this woman thinks it would be good for Thomas to know what anal sex feels like. So we discussed that for a while. I did laugh when he was asking about anal spams.......have you ever had any anal spams? For someone who has such a wicked mind he really is very inexperienced. He really is one of the loveliest men, if circumstances had been different, I am sure the two of us would have had a really good time together he always brings out the naughty side of me. what he really needs is to find a good woman to get laid by. I envy the woman who does get him into bed but it won't be me, a year ago definitely I would have, heck we nearly got there a few times, but not now.

Later whilst eating my toast I noticed JVIP online we have not talked in ages but it seems he still reads my blog even if he doesn't comment much. He asked how I liked my new bed so he must have read the post I put up earlier this morning. As we chatted he was saying how much I have changed in the last year. (for the better with my new confidence). We chatted about my lack of a sex life these days. I told him that it has been through my own choice as I have had offers some of them very tempting but I have managed to steer away from them. He told me as we were saying good bye that it could be good for me to give in to temptation now and again.

Last night I was chatting to Lotto but not for very long as he was in a funny mood. We have chatted quite a lot in recent weeks but last night he just asked me if I would still meet up with him sometime even though I am waiting for Romeo. Last weekend very late I got a text from Lotto he was using his mobile as he didn't have computer access. His g/f was on the computer. That is the first time he has mentioned being with her. He was feeling horny so I told him to tell his g/f but he says she is not interested in sex. Ah now that explains why he has been persuing me for over a year. Its odd that in all the months after we met, when I didn't know he has a g/f he was not pushing to meet again, only saying that he had not met anyone else since me. But since December when he told me he has a g/f he has been pushing every few weeks to meet again. Sometimes he is happy for us to just meet for a drink (although he says I must make myself ugly otherwise he wont be able to keep his hands off me). But other times there is only one thing on his mind, getting me into bed. He has talked about us being watched by a woman he talks to. She is very keen to meet us both apparently. If this had been a year ago (which it could have been if he had got his act together) I might have said yes but not now!

A few days ago I had an email from Mr Passionate telling me that if I am ever free on a week day he would be more than happy to keep me company and share some action. I don't know why it is that I just cannot bring myself to tell him that I won't be seeing him again. I am sure that he does know this even though I have not said it. It has been months since I have instigated one of our sexy text conversations.

I have also been exchanging emails with Mr Green, I am not sure what I called him before but he is the married friend who adores me even though I ahve told him, because he is married. He is the one who has fantasies about me and I wrote this one for him. He is meant to be telling me another fantasy for me to write up for him. I told him that I ahve been out socially 5 times so far this year.........I really know how to live the high life!! 2 of those times were with work and once was the Rotary Club quiz a few weeks ago with my boys and my mum. Once was with Coach back in January and the other was a night out with Harvey with the dating site because he was too shy to go on his own. Mr Green thinks it is awful that I ahve not been taken out in months. Well he was meant to be taking me out a few months ago but had to cancel on the day.

I know a lot of you guys think that Romeo is being a typical man, hes messing me about and all this stuff about him being away on business is a load of Bull. Before he was ill he was talking about us meeting 'soon' I was getting frustrated as I didn't know how soon soon would be. THen I got even more frustrated when I didn't hear form him until I got the text telling me he was ill. I ahve had a few more text since then but not anything like enough to sustain a relationship on. But tonight he has asked to meet me weeeeeeeeeeeeek, what am I going to do? what shall I wear? should I rush off to the gym and work out like mad .......I know I know bad idea and it wouldn't help now anyway. stop panicking girl, relax, wear whatever is appropriate for whereever we are going. Be myself, relax. deep breath, count to 10 slowly.

Thats better I am ok now, be myself after all that is what he likes about me. OK there are other things too but that was what drew him to me in the first place.

Sunday, 11 May 2008

stress relief

Stress Management

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8oz to 20 oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

"In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes
and that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow."

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you
won't have a leg to stand on.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.


There once was a little boy who had a bad Temper.

His Father gave him a bag of nails

And told him that every time he lost his Temper,
he must hammer a nail into the back
of the fence. The first day the boy had

Driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next

Few weeks, as he learned to control his

Anger, the number of nails hammered daily

Gradually dwindled down. He discovered

It was easier to hold his temper than to

Drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't

Lose his temper at all. He told his father

About it and the father suggested that the

Boy now pull out one nail for each day that

He was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally

Able to tell his father that all the nails

Were gone. The father took his son by the

Hand and led him to the fence He said, 'You

Have done well, my son, but look at the

Holes in the fence. The fence will never be

The same. When you say things in anger,

They leave a scar just like this one. You

Can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say I'm

Sorry, the wound is still there.

' A verbal

Wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They

Make you smile and encourage you to succeed.

hey lend an ear, they share words of praise

And they always want to open their hearts to us.'

Wednesday, 7 May 2008


Don't blink or you will miss it!

Friday, 2 May 2008

have a good weekend

Two buddies, Bob and Don, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly
Don throws up all over himself.

"Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!"

Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and
Tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars
for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Don stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time. "You
Reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Don says, "Nowainaminit, I
Can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But
Thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz
liquor He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!"

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks.."

"Oh, yeah... I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too."

Guts and Balls

Distinction between "Guts " and "Balls"

Medical Distinctions

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you reallyknow the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below...

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, beingmet by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are youstill cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smellingof perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife onthe butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.

An elementary school class started a class project
to make planters to take home to their parents.
They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of,
so they decided to use cactus plants.
The students were given green-ware pottery planters
in the shape of clowns which they painted with glaze.
The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing
so they could see the process. It was great fun! They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters
and they grew nicely,
but unfortunately,
the children were not allowed to take them home. The cactus plants were removed
and small ivy replaced them
and the children were then allowed to take them home instead. The teacher said cactus' seemed like a good idea at the time! !!!!!!

May the rest of your day be the best of your day!