Party time

There is a place further down the motorway that I had heard from several people was known to host adult parties. A few weeks ago I noticed on a forum that there was going to be a party there a few days before my birthday. I mentioned it to Plumber to see if we could go. He said no. I don't think it was because he didn't want to go, he had told me once before that he would love to go. (He was one of the people who had told me about it.) His excuse was that it was too expensive. Either he was making excuses or he had been misinformed. (£35 per couple is not expensive)

A few weeks ago I met a new man (Sailor) who had been to a couple of these parties and offered to take me. We did go to the party it was a night of firsts for me. My first ever visit to a dungeon (it was one of my favourite rooms) I was well and truly done on one of the spanking benches ......oh and on the other one too. It was the first time I have been fucked with an audience........and yes it did turn me on not that it would have taken much anyway. It was also the first time I have been fucked on a bed with another couple fucking on another bed in the same room with other people watching .....this room not only has no door but there are peep holes in the wall.

But my favourite thing of all (ok maybe not my favourite that might just be the spanking bench) was the jacuzzi. I have never been in one before.....yes I know I lead a sad sheltered life. Not being totally comfortable with stripping off completely in front of others I waited until it was almost empty. Sailor followed me in a few minutes later after he realised where I was. I was really enjoying the relaxing warm bubbles sat on the highest seat with one leg resting across Sailors lap and my other leg across the lap of a young man who just wanted to spend the whole night in there so long as there was a constant supply of beer and cigarettes. He quite happily stroked my leg but otherwise kept his hands to himself.

Sailor however was having an attack of wondering handitis.....he suffers from this very frequently (in public as well as in private). It wasn't much of a suprise to me to find that his fingers were playing with my pussy among the jets of warm water. That didn't last too long though as he soon left the jacuzzi. The guy who had been sat next to him soon scooted into his place and began to caress my leg. I could feel his fingers inching along my inner thigh until they reached my lips. I didn't say anything just moved slightly in my seat so that his fingers were right on target. He smiled and began idly fingering my pulsing pussy. What could I do? it wouldn't be polite to ignore him so I reached down into his lap and began stroking his erection. He looked like he was enjoying that, I was soon into a good rhythm wanking him below the surface, now and again giving his balls a fondle too. Unfortunately I needed the loo and had to dash through the house dressed only in a short towel. When I returned he had gone. But I still had the young lad for company. We were both enjoying being in there with occasional visits from others.

It was almost 3am when I found Sailor trying to stay awake on one of the many leather sofas. So I dressed and we went home. I am hoping to go again to another party.

In the morning Plumber was online............he said to me that he thought I might have been out the night before. Thinking that he must have noticed I wasn't online I casually asked

what makes you say that?

It turns out that he had been out to several pubs with his mate, finishing up at a pub I went to a few weeks ago with my friend Jane, we had also been to one of his band's gigs there. He thought we might have been there. Which reminds me that Jane sent me some jokes whilst I was at the party..........I have not replied yet, I must do that.

shock in time

New (not so new) photos

last night out of the blue I received an email containing 8 photos. Last summer I really wanted these pictures to illustrate my special friday. Now though I have moved on from the place on my journey that I had reached last summer. I had promised to share these photos so although looking at them now does little for me I have posted a few of them for you if you can be bothered to find them. I am not proud of what I did but at the time it was something I needed to do. I don't regret it just don't feel that it has any significance to the person I am now.

ps if you shock easily don't look for these pictures

Heaven is a place

his touch as light as a feather
kisses upon my cheeks
tracing the lines made by the other
his tongue, his fingers
upon my arse
where earlier had been
first a heavy hand
kissing the marks left
by the leather paddle
his fingers follow the lines
from the caning
I had received
every second of pain worth it
to have him here
making me swoon with pleasure
as his fingers delve and his tongue licks so lightly
with his fingers still inside
he leans over my back
to kiss my hungry lips
I am trapped upon this bed
under this man I crave
the words in my head
sing out loud
Heaven is a place in room 205
does he think me crazy
for this thing I have done
no he knows it is just
me being me
all too soon he has gone
leaving me to remember how
he had held me close
his laugh in reply as I
declare how nice he smells
his smile as I admit
I have missed you
there is a space now
beside me lying here
with a sadness that
he couldn't stay
with heavy eyes I
begin to drift away
to the land of dreams
was this all in my mind
no I have the marks
on my skin and the
shadows on my heart
where they have been
good night and
sweet dreams
to you both

Not long now

It is not far away now, we have agreed a day.
I have written my list of misdemeanours as I was commanded to do.
I have received notification of his ruling on my misdeeds.
I know how it will start
I know what will be used
I know how I must present myself
I may not move
I may not speak
I may not rub my ass
I will take my punishment
I will be strong
I will find my limits
He will be firm
He will be masterful
He will administer my correction
He will take me to the limit
He knows I will submit
He knows which implements to use
He knows I need this
He may take pictures
He may comfort me in my distress
He may leave me there


We talk often, we talk of many things, but one thing we talk of often is this thing that we plan. It is on both our minds. I think about it a lot. He asks me if I am thinking about it. He asks if it makes me wet. He asks if I will cum during or after, I tell him probably. I get wet just thinking about it so I imagine that the reality will be even more intense. We talk of tears and tissues, of red skirts and red cheeks. We talk of mini skirts and stockings.We talk of hands, paddles and of canes. We talk of arousal. I am scared, I am afraid I will panic with the first strike but I know I won’t. I have not come this far just to give in that easily. He practices, he wants the lines to be precise. Parallel stripes of red across the pale skin made pink by the use of his hand as he warms my skin in preparation.

Tell me do you want to learn of my misdemeanours.
Tell me do you want to learn the nature of my prescribed correction.
Tell me will you want to see evidence that I received what I am due

It takes four

It takes four

I have come to the realisation that the man I desire in my life exists in the form of four men. these men are all different, they bring different things to my life. On their own none will live up to my needs but put them together I have the perfect man for me.

there is my comfort lover, he takes me in his embrace, kisses me oh so nicely, takes me to his bed and holds me throughout the night. He wants me often, he wants more than I can give but is happy to accept what I can. He wants to make me his, at least in the short term, perhaps longer. We are good together, he is sweet and he finds me perfect, my only fault being that I have children. he calls me up just to hear my voice, he tells me i have a very sexy voice. he gives me peace and comfort.

there is the one who stole my heart. first we were friends, then we met and my breath he took away. there is no man I have ever found sexier even in his shyness. to communicate frequently is not his thing which frustrates me no end. Our times together though brief and infrequent have an intensity none can beat. the more I learn of him the more in common I find we have. Both now and in the years of our childhoods. he gives me something I cannot put my finger on, all I know is that without him I am incomplete.

there is the one who gives me passion, he knows that there are times when I need to be fucked hard. we give each other much pleasure. He is bound to another, but to me and none other he willingly gives his passion. from that very first time we met it was inevitable that soon in my bed he would be. We no longer frequently get together but that is unimportant. Our passion for each other we can give from afar as we await that time when we can again be joined as one. among others he is the only wedded one I could not give up. he gives me exhileration

lastly there is the one who is my friend, we share a fondness for each other. we also share an interest in a side to me that I have yet to explore. the art of discipline spanking has taken a hold of my curiosity. this has been a subject of interest to him for many years. he has kindly agreed to initiate me into these pleasures. we talk often about this and other matters. he has taken over the role of confidante from the one who was before my heart he stole. he gives me laughter, excitement and encouragement.

I apologise now if you are one of the other men in my life but not one of the four. everyone of you has a place in my heart :-)

men

I am unhappy, I am sad, I feel empty, I am miserable
There, I said it, I admit that I feel miserable
Today I sent an email, one that I really didn’t want to write let alone send.
As much as I really like him both as a friend and a lover
It just wasn’t working
I would have liked to have seen him much more often
But I could cope with the infrequency of our being together.
The reason I have given up is the spasmodic communication.
This is all I am going to say about this

Today I have thought about other men in my life
Last night I had a chat via msn with JJ about our plans for a spanking session
This spanking session is with the expectations of him being highly sexually aroused while I have to remain un aroused with much temptation being placed in my way to persuade me to be bad which in turn would lead to further punishment. This chat was continued via phone as I later lay in my bed playing, as he listened to my moans he was describing what he will do to me and how my wrists will be bound and my eyes blind folded to heighten my experience.

There is another man in my life who is planning to spank me. We are friends and I trust him. This is not intended to be a sexual event. This will be a very different experience for me. There is no talk of arousal, more of implements and rituals.

Today I text a married lover. When I decided to stop playing the field I told all my lovers that I would not see them anymore, all that is except this one. I just couldn’t bare to give up this one lover. The one I have referred to as my Passionate lover. He is married as I say and when I first met him he was playing around with other women. Months ago he told me that he just didn’t have the time to play around anymore but he would always make time for me. As it happens we have not been able to find the time to see each other since February. He comes here to me as I refuse to go to his home although that would have been easier. It has been difficult as there always seemed to be one of the kids home or I had to go out. Then I was ill, soon after this #2 son finished school, now I am working in the daytime. He works nights. I have not been in touch with him for a couple of months. But today I felt a need to connect with him. He says he had wondered where I had disappeared to. It was good to exchange text for a while. He still wants to see me and is pleased that I still want to see him. I can’t see this happening before September which is torture but at least I know we both still want it.

I have also had various chats recently with my ex b/f on msn. Each time I end up wondering why I bother. Without fail he makes me want to hit him. He can be so childish, irritating and damn right rude. He always ends up being insulting to me. Yes I know I should block him. One of the things he often asks is if I have any new pictures. This man thinks nothing of insulting me but wants pictures of my body. He never believes me that I have no new photos. In fact there are only two new pictures of me and only one person other than me has seen them and that’s the man who took them on his phone then later sent them to me. (unless he has shown them to anyone which I doubt).