Friday, 31 August 2007

social evening

I belong to several dating sites but not really paid much attention to any of them for ages. why would I as I have plenty of lovely men in my creche already. But over recent months a number of friends have recomended a site I had not heard of before. One of my RL friends met her boyfriend through the site last year. I joined a few months ago but wasn't impressed. I chatted to a few men they were either weird or just wanted to discuss my bust size. Now I didn't join this particular site for sexual reasons so I was not going to get into sexual talk too early on. I didn't visit the site much for a few months. But in recent weeks as I have had little to occupy my mind I have been more of a presence on the site. This particular site has various social events where singles can meet up. Last night was a pub meet in the neighbouring city. I decided to go along. By yesterday there were 55 people signed up for the evening. I have been chatting to one man (biker) every day for a week or so he was going to be there so I knew there would be at least one friendly person there. Before I set out I noticed that a new person had viewed my profile and I
recognised the picture but not the name, checked out the profile and knew who it was. Chip, who I had met for a drink earlier this summer. He was also going to the same evening.

Eventually I find my way to the pub, I am greeted at the door by the organiser who issues me with a name sticker and introduced me to another woman who has been to a few events now. we went inside while the smokers stayed outside. A few more new people arrived and we all sat together chatting and drinking (I was very good and stuck to fruit juice all evening). we were having a good chat and a laugh. One guy told me that my photos on the site don't do me justice. I had been worrying before I arrived that everyone would look so much better than me but I soon realised this was not the case. I saw chip but we didn't speak only to say 'hello' in passing he was with a very serious looking woman. I met biker who seems very nice. we have exchanged more messages since and just had a chat on IM for the first time. He is organising a motorbike trip 40 miles down the coast on tuesday evening. I am not sure if I want to go or not. I do want to ride pillion again as it has been 20+ years since the last time. But not sure about going so far on a first ride especially as it is an evening and I have work next day. My kids don't want me to go but have voted 2 v 3 that I should go to the adults only evening at the play house which is full of slides and ball pits etc. other events that I can go to are a quiz night and also the group's first speed dating event. so thats the next few weeks taken care of.

Oh and as I got into my car to go home the radio was playing my theme tune........ Lady in red of course I opened the window and turned the volume up as I drove out of the car park.


we are off out this morning to spend my wages and my day off work buying school uniform then I am taking the family to see where I work. might even manage to take a photograph of the sign 'Forest' that I see everyday on my way home from work. I shall describe my night out later when I have more time.


I found this on Chopski's blog and it seems that I am also a vulture

Your Power Bird is a Vulture

You are always changing your life and the lives of those around you.
You aren't afraid to move on from what holds you back.
Energetic and powerful, you have a nearly unlimited capacity for success.
You know how to "go with the flow" and take advantage of what is given to you.

Thursday, 30 August 2007

on the razzle

I'm off out on the razzle tonight

will let you know how it goes when I get back. I shall be meeting up for a social night out with others from dating site. I dont know anyone there but have been exchanging messages with one man for the past 10 days. It isn't often I manage to get out just to socialise so it should be fun.

I nearly killed myself

I nearly killed myself today but I am ok about it. I was running a few minutes late for work so was pushing it along the motorway. I got to a part where two roads merge I was passing several of these as I tried to move over into the middle lane where the roads merge there was one of these in the lane I wanted but it was going slower than me but the van coming up behind was travelling faster and I was running out of road. While I concentrated on these I forgot about this which was on my left. The driver leaned on his horn and as I looked round he was just inches from my car. I was very lucky not to get crushed. Normally something like this would have really shaken me up and I would have been a nervous wreck but I wasnt. I just drove off and got to work feeling quite calm.

calm is the way I have been feeling for days. I don't feel either exstatic or excited. I have had a number of invites for a fuck but I'm just not bothered. I spent an hour earlier at one of these where #4 son had an x-ray. It seems that nothing is broken but he has bruised his arm and his ego. yesterday while out playing the kids had found one of the older boys pushed the chair down a slope with #4 son on it. He fell off and landed on his arm. boys will be boys, I dosed him up wrapped his arm in a cold wet towel and kept an eye on him. when he wanted to go back and be umpire I realised he was ok.

Wednesday, 29 August 2007

sugasm 92

A belated post now that I am learning how to do links. thanx to toby and his guidance

Sugasm 92

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #93? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Do one thing every day that scares you…

“What I didn’t know-that it would turn me on as much as it hurt me.”

Interview With Deborah Jeane Palfrey, AKA The DC Madam“

I wanted to see coverage treating sex workers as just that-workers.”

Rough Sex - with pictures

“She bites, she writhes, she moans, she claws- none of which she can remember after.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself Keep Britain Tidy, Gimp

Editor’s Choice In Her Mind, the Pigeons Were Always Fucking

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Tuesday, 28 August 2007


mum Scott is downstairs come quick

who the hell is Scott and why is he here at 12.20am

come quick mum #2 has got him in a pot and he cant do the paper


scott!! #2 has him in a pot and we need you to sort it

#2 son is stood on sofa holding a plastic pot up to the ceiling with a sheet of paper half pushed across the top of the pot. #3 son is also stood on sofa, they are taking it in turns to hold the plastic pot against the ceiling. they are both shreiking excitedly. they want me to deal with Scott. I stand on the sofa too but I am too short to even reach the pot. eventually I persuade them to use a thicker envelope to slide across the pot. once this is in place I persuade them that they can bring the pot away from the ceiling if they hold the envelope in place. I am given the pot and the envelope complete with inmate walking out of the front door along the garden path then the
footpath along the alleyway around the corner and place Scott on to a garden hedge. then picked my way back home making sure not to tread on anything nasty, really should have put some shoes on lmao

Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms AND kept the
same tagline.

Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it.
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.
Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.
KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good.
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hands

Monday, 27 August 2007

I'm hot

I got this quiz from George

You scored as Hot, You are Hot, you scream and are wild, people love doing anything sexual with you.

















What is your sexual style?
created with

Sunday, 26 August 2007

I am a people pleaser me


I don't deal with things by confrontation unless there is no other way. It just isn't in my nature to be confrontational. If I don't like something I will generally find a way to let my feelings be known without confronting the person concerned. I am sure most people will agree that I am a nice person, I always do what I can to be nice to people I am by nature a people pleaser. I am constantly checking that my friends and family are ok that there is nothing wrong and if there is then I will try to make them happier whether that is by doing something practical or just by cheering them up a little. I like to put a smile on the face of others.

sometimes i see or hear something which i think is wrong. if i see something which could be hurtful to others or even the person doing it I have to say something. sometimes I will do this directly either in public or in private. Other times I make my feelings known to the ether and if that person takes notice then that can only be a good thing.

I think of my virtual relationship with other bloggers much like my kids. I love them but don't always agree with what they do but that doesn't stop me from loving or caring about them. I don't go for blog love ins. If I admire a certain blogger it is for the person I perceive them to be and what they write. I read a range of blogs some I share with others that I read, there are also others that no one else i know reads. On all these blogs if I read a post that I feel I can contribute to or have anything at all to say then I will whether my comment is positive or negative. there are also times when I read something that I just have nothing to say. I don't go for back slapping just for the sake of it.

I don't understand people who write blogs but only accept comments from people who agree with them. There have been times, not often but there have been comments which I have found hurtful or simply just don't agree with me. I would never consider deleting these comments or banning the author. Everyone has a right to their own point of view. Just as I have a right to say whatever I like on my own blog if others don't like it thats their problem.

Just as in my real life I can't please everyone all the time. sometimes I do or say something that doesn't go down well. I hate it when I have a row, even when I know I am right it still causes me stress and gives me headaches. My ex b/f currently feels that I have ruined his relationship with his latest g/f. I hate that he feels this way but I dont feel any guilt or blame. It is his fault that this has happened. He tried to wind me up pretendidng that he was single again and asked me to get back with him. Then the last time we spoke he said they had never split up, when I accused him of playing games and he was either lying then or now he didnt like it. denied that he had asked me to get back with him. his g/f now has doubts in her mind and its all my fault for saying this to him in front of her. how can it be my fault it was him who asked me to get back with him. If he wasn't still playing games he wouldnt have got caught out and they would still be ok. the only reason I still talk to him from time to time is that I have this ingrained belief that it is rude not to answer when spoken to. But I am learning that I don't have to answer to everyone all the time. I have now blocked him from seeing when I am online. If he ever reads this (I dont know if he still does) I hope you managed to put things right with your g/f but more than that I hope you learnt your lesson. It is and never has been a good idea to wind up other women you have been involved with either in front of your current g/f or behind her back. You should know by now that you will never get the better of me you just are not clever enough.

Saturday, 25 August 2007

it hit me

it has hit me this morning part of why I have been feeling so tetchy

I enjoy talking to the various men in my life
but recently I have been getting quite a few offers from them wanting to see me again
this surely is a good thing but I am not seeing it that way
yes I like these men and enjoy their company and of course the sex
I have turned down all the offers I have had in the last week

Oxo invited me over but i declined, he now has family staying with him for the bank holiday weekend so I wont be hearing from him now until they have gone.

Fireman Sam has been chatting at least once or twice a day for the past few days, hes has invited me to his place.

Rusty has been texting me, he wants to see me again

Even Lotto has reappeared on the scene, I met him in march and it wasnt until weeks later when we were chatting that I realised he fancied me, he says he didnt realise I fancied him either. every now and then we chat but this last week we have chatted several times and he makes it clear he wants to see me. He even turned down another woman last night who had propositioned him in the pub then text him.

Partly I am turning them down because I have virtually no money and what I do have I need to feed the kids in the next few days and I dont want to waste money on petrol.

But this morning when I was replying to an email from prada pixie it hit me the real reason is that I dont want to be in this position of getting offers and deciding whether I want to accept or decline. It is another week before I am expecting forest to get back from his holiday but he is the one I want to see. Ok I could as I said a couple of weeks ago spend virtually every night having sex with one or other of my creche. but that is not what I want. I want to be in a relationship with forest where he is the only one I see. No more making decisions about whether I want to see this one on this day or that one on that day. I like all these men, if I didnt I wouldn't have them in my life but as much as I like them they are not forest. It isn't that any of them are wrong for me they just are not the one I want to be with.

Friday, 24 August 2007

I don't know where I am .........part two

I dont know where I am part two

I have been reading some of the blogs that I go to regularly
I don't know if I am just in a funny mood but my feelings about these blogs have been different today

I have been to one blog where there is a new hot story I read the first paragraph then moved onto the next blog. Not because there is anything wrong with the story but because I am in the wrong mind set to read a hot story but I shall do later.

I have been to another blog where we learn of the writer's passion past and present. I read the most recent description of people and passionate positions. I read with interest but nothing more, again im in the wrong mind set.

I read of another blogger meeting her lover for the first time in what to her is ages, but in the greater scheme of things only a short period. I wish her luck in her desires with her lover.

I read both sides of the australian love story.......I have no comments to make today

I read an insightfull piece which I cannot get my head around today

I read another blog where there is a different sense of wit than on other blogs. I do find some of this blog very amusing. however as I mull over what is on offer today I feel I cannot be a part of this. I cannot condone what this blogger is doing. It can be funny to make fun of someone else once, two or three times is pushing it a little too far but I find that this unrelenting poking of fun at one person in particular has lost any respect I might have had for the intended wit. Some posts are blatantly obvious who they are pointing at others less obvious but if I can recognise them then so should others who read both blogs. I am alarmed at the encouraging comments which come from people I have considered to be intelligent, how can these people who have otherwise earnt my respect continue what is tantamount to bullying. None of us would find this acceptable behaviour in children or in the work place so why accept it in blogland. However tongue in cheek these posts are I do strongly feel that enough is enough. My only other comment is now to say that I admire the subject of this bullying for keeping their dignity by not responding to all this public humiliation at least not in public.

I have read of another blogger who is feeling lonely and in need of contact from others, I do not comment as I chatted to this person in the early hours so have already held out my hand in companionship.

I have read a blog which took me down memory lane to my childhood.

I have read other blogs also but just for now have no more comment

today I am lost in blogland and don't know how I feel about most of it

I dont know where I am ............but thats ok

I dont know where I am but thats ok

I have tried unsuccessfully not to think about forest too much while he is away.
I have tried to occupy myself
I have tried to remove him from my mind
I have tried searching dating sites for someone to replace him
I have chatted on msn
I have had text conversations
I have exchanged emails

I have not been frantic
I have not been in a panic
I have not been throwing myself at every available man
I have not been totally good
I have not been terribly naughty either
I have not kept Forest from my mind

In the past week I have had offers
Oxo asked me to visit him and stay over I declined
Fireman Sam has hinted and I said maybe
Fireman Sam has even asked me to play with him I declined
Rusty has teased me with his text
Rusty has requested a repeat of our previous meeting I can't decide
Do these men think that I am avoiding them personally

I want to keep occupied
I dont want to think
yet I feel disinclined to accept these offers
it isn't that I have gone off sex
It isn't that I am saving myself
I just don't feel in a space where sex is everything
I feel as though these offers are something I can take or leave
I am choosing to leave for the moment and just be here
I leave my boys while I indulge in pleasure often enough
for the moment I shall just be here with them

I am not feeling the peaks and troughs that go with passion
I am feeling serene and calm
no need to rock the boat
I am happy just chatting, texting and emailing
I am connecting with friends old and new
just being me

I am trying to work out what I want
I am trying to work out what I dont want
I am lost without emotion
but that is ok

Thursday, 23 August 2007

Proud mother

Who are these people who think that a child from a broken home has no chance of making it in our world.
Today #2 son received his exam results

Maths A*
science dble award A
Religious studies A
English Language B
Physical education B
french B
German B
English Literature C
Geography C
Product Design C
Business Studies C (he didn't even study this subject but was entered into the exam by the school anyway so I am very proud of him for getting a C grade after not attending a single lesson)

He has enrolled at college today to study Maths and statistics, further maths, Law and finally ICT. He intends to get a place at university to study maths in two years time. when asked why he chose Law as one of his subjects his reply 'so that I can learn what my rights are'.

My boy will go far

He has been getting excited for the last week or so waiting to get his results, last night he said it felt like christmas eve.....he had earlier been saying that he felt like camping at the schol gates ready to be the first through the gate to get his results. He has been very confident that he would get good results.

Maybe if he had revised more he would have got even better results but to have done what he has is good.

Now he just has to knuckle down and work hard for the next few years.

Wednesday, 22 August 2007


There are moments that make my reason for existing worthwhile.

After I recovered from my cancer I wrote an open letter to the mothers of children who attended the same schools as my children. (In the years since I have also sent this letter to various online friends I have made.) Reminding them that they owe it to their children to take care of themselves and take all available precautions including medical screening when it is offered. If I could prevent just one woman going through what I did or worse dying then it makes my illness worthwhile.

There have been times when friends or family members have been feeling depressed or finding things difficult to cope with. If I can do anything to help whether it is practical or just being there I am glad. everytime that something I do or say makes someone smile even if its only for a minute that makes my life worthwhile.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend who is going through a difficult time. I was woken by a text from him at 1.30am (approx)telling me that 'Your words helped very much. You will never know.' That makes my reason for being worthwhile. Some weeks ago during a conversation I said that I believe everyone who comes into our lives does so for a reason. He wondered what reason he had come into my life. In this case I think it has been a case of me coming into his life to help him through a difficult time, which in turn is giving me someone to worry about. I am good at worrying about others and making sure they are ok. To me this makes my life worthwhile

Too busy

I was too busy to post very much last night.

firstly I was using the crap slow computer that misses out letters which makes anything I write a painstakingly slow process filling in all the missing letters only to find that when I publish other letters have gone missing frustrating for me as I like my writing to be perfect.

but more because I spent the entire evening between playing taxi, chief cook and bottle washer to the family chatting to sexy Lotto who I met once back in march. We have not met again since because we are looking for different things but we both find the other very sexy. every few weeks I find an offline message from him checking that I am ok and telling me he still finds me sexy. Last night we were online at the same time. Oh and I had a brief chat with fireman Sam too.

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

bits and pieces

lack of money (my fault)

the main money that myself and my children live on is the child tax credits I get to supplement my wages. I have known for several months that the annual renewal had to be completed before 31/7/07. I didn't complete the renewal believing that my change of payment follow my change of circumstance in june meant that it was no loer necessary. I now know that I still had to do this, I have dug out my P60 and given the one vital figure to the person on the phone my money should be reinstated in a few days :-) so that was a good start to my day.

Later I was busy getting on with my work when my boss and my friend Posh Bird (general manager) called me into the conference room. I wandered if they were going to say they were going to let me go two weeks early (my contract ends 7th sept) but they asked me to stay on until 22nd december :-)


I said I might do a post about oxo which caused suze ask 'I want to know what you plan to do with the Oxo. ;)'

Suze Oxo is my fuck buddy. we were chatting last night when he suddenly dropped our code word into the conversation. This code word can be used by either of us to say 'want to fuck give me hour' but I turned him down as I didnt have enough fuel to get there or the money to get fuel. Oxo offered to give me fuel money but I did have enough to get me there in the first place. He was having an early night as he had an interview today but he told me he would leave the door unlocked for me just incase. He really is a sweetie.

half cocked ideas

I have a number of things I can post about






lack of money (my fault)

maybe by the time I get home from work I shall have a post properly formulated in my head rather than the half cock ideas that are currently there.

Monday, 20 August 2007

Lady joins the harem

good morning people I am glad to say I am feeling much better this morning. I am up getting ready for work trawling through the blogs I read and came across this which I did know about but wasn't expecting it quite so soon. Ronjazz has written a story for me as part of his harem collection. To see what he has created for me take a look at sorry I have not figured out how to do links yet but I will soon.

crashing waves

wipers slicing through the spray
peering at the cars through the mist
idiots without lights hard to see
stop start stop start
where have they all come from
why are so many going my way
an hour no more it should have taken
its nearer two by the time I arrive
hi its me I have arrived
waiting for him to show me the way
to this flat 3 storeys up
with a view straight out to sea
grey sky grey water merge in the distance
white crests of waves crash so close
to where I stand
from the window staring out
he stands behind me this man
so tall and tanned
blonde a god of a man
his smile and twinkly eyes
why should he be interested
in me so short and cuddly
he longs to squeeze me to him
as together we sit with
football results scrolling across the screen
he leans into me and kisses my lips
mmm very nice I can't not respond
soon he has led me into the small bedroom where
he has to stoop with such a low ceiling
he presses himself to me kissing and caressing
clothes discarded on the floor
I gaze upon this body so lean
taught and golden flesh
in stark contrast to my own
white and lumpy rolls that are mine
he is good this god like man
he makes me squirm and exclaim
in pure delight
yes he is good and I want him inside me
thrusting and making me his
i lose count of the times
my name is whispered on his lips
he lays back loving the feel
of my hands my tongue upon his
body as he stands proud
some time later he recovers from cramp
as we dress ready again
for the outside world
time for another look from his window at
the crashing waves, waves that are in tune
with the crashing thuds inside my head
he is a lovely sight to behold this man
so straight and secure in his beauty
his smile so friendly
but I am not his
it saddens me to know
I am here and not some place else
we smile we kiss goodbye as I leave for the return journey
on my way a decision has to be made
the road forks one way to where forest lives
I take the other road as there is no point
Forest is not there

Saturday, 18 August 2007


I have various things I could post about but at this moment there seems very little that I actally want to post. Maybe it is the headache I have had all day that is making me feel this way. Even a very nice encounter with Poseidon (tall, golden, beautiful and blonde) was not enough to banish my headache.

Friday, 17 August 2007

a year

I can't believe it has been a year already
it's a year since that first time we met
which reminds me that it is your birthday
do you remember the giant pink candle I wanted to use to celebrate your birthday
it was a good summer for me with you around
when we were not snogging or shagging we were chatting on msn or texting.
you promised me a tongue to die for and you were right
yes you were big headed about your prowess
I had recently been hurt but so had you
neither of us wanted to get involved but we both knew we were
who knows what would have happened if you had stayed in the country
if you hadnt had to go so suddenly
you said you would be back but you didnt say when,
would it be months or would it be years
you said we would continue this friendship so precious to us both
you said we would still chat on msn.
when you left i sent text and email but got no reply
you had forgotten me already I thought
then the message came asking why no word from me
had I forgotten you already had you upset me
you were coming back for a few weeks
you would see me then
when you came back you had been away
to a place it is not safe to be
I am so glad I knew not before
that night together I shall remember welll
but you were different
it wasnt just the appearance of facial hair
your manner was changed
you were distant, not here with me
was it where you had been that made you thus
or was it that you no longer cared for me in the same way
apart from a brief chat the following day I have heard nothing from you
I wonder if that was because you had changed or because something happened to you
I trully hope you are safe and well
much has happened in my life in these months but still
you are here in my heart, in my mind, in the various places that were ours.
our table, our view, our woods,
I taste you still
that mix of coffee and tobacco
the feel of your hands on my body,
your fingers as they stroke my neck in that way that makes me want to faint.
I remember the last words you said as you kissed me goodbye
mmmmmm raspberry
I remember you broke a tooth the day we had our first night at the hotel
I broke my tooth the next time we were to stay there
I remember the magic of your touch and your expertise with my first vibrator
I still see your naked form at the window as you watch that deer
i remember too the tv programs we watched before breakfast
I miss you my friend

Thursday, 16 August 2007

not to be left out

everyone else is doing it so I figured I would do it too.

I have not put any pictures on here for ages. Partly because I couldnt be bothered, partly as I dont want to be a blog that is full of sexy pics I prefer written pictures.
until recently I have not had the privacy to take pictures or the technolgy to load them onto my computer. today I am wearing some new nickers with ribbons that tickle my leg above my stockings so I thought I would share them with you. But I wont be making a habit of this.

Wednesday, 15 August 2007


this morning I did a personality test on a dating site. for each question there was a choice of 2 answers often I found that I could answer either way as there are times I would go one way and times I would go the other way. so imagine how suprised I was when I read the results. It describes my personality far better than I ever could.

Portrait of an ENFP - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling)


The Inspirer

As an ENFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system.

ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

An ENFP needs to focus on following through with their projects. This can be a problem area for some of these individuals. Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values. ENFPs who remain centered will usually be quite successful at their endeavors. Others may fall into the habit of dropping a project when they become excited about a new possibility, and thus they never achieve the great accomplishments which they are capable of achieving.

Most ENFPs have great people skills. They are genuinely warm and interested in people, and place great importance on their inter-personal relationships. ENFPs almost always have a strong need to be liked. Sometimes, especially at a younger age, an ENFP will tend to be "gushy" and insincere, and generally "overdo" in an effort to win acceptance. However, once an ENFP has learned to balance their need to be true to themselves with their need for acceptance, they excel at bringing out the best in others, and are typically well-liked. They have an exceptional ability to intuitively understand a person after a very short period of time, and use their intuition and flexibility to relate to others on their own level.

Because ENFPs live in the world of exciting possibilities, the details of everyday life are seen as trivial drudgery. They place no importance on detailed, maintenance-type tasks, and will frequently remain oblivous to these types of concerns. When they do have to perform these tasks, they do not enjoy themselves. This is a challenging area of life for most ENFPs, and can be frustrating for ENFP's family members.

An ENFP who has "gone wrong" may be quite manipulative - and very good it. The gift of gab which they are blessed with makes it naturally easy for them to get what they want. Most ENFPs will not abuse their abilities, because that would not jive with their value systems.

ENFPs sometimes make serious errors in judgment. They have an amazing ability to intuitively perceive the truth about a person or situation, but when they apply judgment to their perception, they may jump to the wrong conclusions.

ENFPs who have not learned to follow through may have a difficult time remaining happy in marital relationships. Always seeing the possibilities of what could be, they may become bored with what actually is. The strong sense of values will keep many ENFPs dedicated to their relationships. However, ENFPs like a little excitement in their lives, and are best matched with individuals who are comfortable with change and new experiences.

Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

ENFPs are basically happy people. They may become unhappy when they are confined to strict schedules or mundane tasks. Consequently, ENFPs work best in situations where they have a lot of flexibility, and where they can work with people and ideas. Many go into business for themselves. They have the ability to be quite productive with little supervision, as long as they are excited about what they're doing.

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

soft cushions

what nice suprise to find this comment on djkirkby's blog. I have taken a peek a few times not sure if I have commented in the past but on monday i left a comment. when I looked back there this morning after she had commented on my blog I found this lovely unexpected comment.

Hi Lady in Red and welcome, I've seen you on Chopper's blog and have popped round yours a few times. It is LUSH at yours, like a room full of soft cushions and subtle scents of love.

I would never have thought of it like that but I do like the sound of that, the last person who commented on the contents of my blog called it pure porn, I like to think of it as pure emotion.

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

breaking records

George has asked me if I would still be setting out to break sexual records during the next three weeks if forest had told me earlier about his holiday.

I would like to clarify that I am not setting out to break any records. If he had told me before the last minute I would have felt happier about the situation between us. This would have perhaps made me less inclined to accept as many of the opportunities which have suddenly presented themselves. I am not setting out to see as many men as I can while he is away. Opportunities to see others who I have previously met and one or two that I hadn't until now have been presenting themselves. I see no reason to turn them down. He has made it clear that he expects me to see other men. I see no reason to sit at home moping while he is enjoying himself somewhere unknown. but probably I wouldn't have bothered to meet anyone new unless they were extra special. I will however definitely meet up with Thomas if he can arrange to be in my area when I am not working.

Sunday, 12 August 2007

while the cat is away..............

George has asked me if it will be a long three weeks while Forest is away. I have to say that there is the potential for it to be very long. After all I was climbing the walls when I couldn't contact him for 2 weeks. Now I know he is away for 3 weeks it did hurt when I found his message. Not because he is away, I don't begrudge him a holiday, he is very hard working not just in his work but in his private life too. I am assuming that he has taken his children away with him, I could never wish him not to spend time with his children who he cares for very much, this is so obvious when he talks about them. What hurt was the way he told me, but more than anything that he left it until the last minute to tell me. He probably did this for one of two reasons, either it didn't occur to him until the last minute to tell me, then realised that I would go crazy if I didn't hear from him for that length of time without knowing the reason. Or he didn't want to tell me before as he was worried about how I would react to the news that he would be away. I would have reacted much better if he had told me before. I would have like to ask him where he was going what it is like there etc. Now I am wondering if it will occur to him to send me a postcard he had better not say he couldn't as he doesn't know my address. He has been here a few times, I had to give him my address for him to find my house.

Anyway onto the subject of the next three weeks for me.
Ronjazz has told me that I only need to be true to myself not anyone else. He is right and I have to say that my decision to behave myself and nor see others was because that was how I wanted it not because any man had asked me not to see anyone else. All the men I see including Forest are happy for me to see others (or at least thats what they say).So for a few months I saw forest then gradually began to see Oxo again. Then Mr Passionate crept back into bed with me last week. You know that thing the more you have the more you want. Well in the last week I have seen 2 men that I hadn't seen before, I am making plans to see Thomas again. I am due to see another man Rusty this week also. Although we have not met already we began chatting last year and did arrange to meet at one point but his business meeting over ran and we just never got around to rearranging the date until now. So far from crying myself asleep every night I think maybe I shall be too busy to worry too much about what was his name again?

Dark master has plans to have me spanked when his sex slave comes over from Canada. He has spoken to her about it and they want to make my fantasy story 'her suprise' come true. Rusty has plans for me to be tied and teased. I am sure that in the next few weeks I shall see both Oxo and Fireman Sam my fuck buddies. Thomas is organising time to see me, we have agreed that the fantasy of the knight and his lady is over. This is now an illicit affair between two real people. He is concerned that as he is as good as married I will give him the bums rush (that is not what I have planned for his bum). So I think while the cat is away this mouse will be playing hard and may even be too knackered to see him on his return.

Dom or not

Meet me at the station in an hour

you mean **** rail station ?

yes and you know what to wear

huh I will wear whatever I want to wear

LOL I am sure you will

Be there 8.30 sharp


Finally I have agreed to meet him, I am not sure if I want to or not. But I have had a headache all day, not a really bad one but enough to stop me concentrating properly. so a walk in fresh air may do me good. But it was early morning when he first told me to meet him for a walk in the forest. It is now early evening. Thomas has been encouraging me to go, says it will do me good to get out of the house. I shower and ponder what to wear. Dark Master has requested black thigh high boots or other stilettos. he would like to see me in red stockings and belt. I contemplate jeans and trainers. I finally decide on my flared red mini skirt and trainers taking sandals and jeans with me. I have on a red vest top taking a jumper in case I get cold. 8.30 I am applying my red lipstick. good I shall be at least 10 minutes late, cant have him expecting me to be a good girl and be on time. He doesn't mention my time keeping when I arrive, but I clock that he isn't wearing a watch so maybe doesn't realise. He looks exactly like I had expected except that he is shorter and slimmer not such an imposing figure as I had imagined. It seems he has been staying with a friend in my town for the last few weekends. I wonder if I would have met him sooner had I realised he was so close. Part of my reluctance to meet him had been the distance I would have to drive just to meet him.
It amuses me that as I pull up in front of the station there is a man I have never seen before dressed in black jeans and a leather jerkin leaning against the wall, as I drive up he moves away from the wall, he opens the door and climbs into my car without checking first that I am the person he is expecting.

Saturday, 11 August 2007

male harem

Is there a word that equals harem when attached to men as opposed to women?

I have just been chatting to Thomas formally known as my knight. we were discussing the men in my life. I described them as the male equivalent to a harem. In the past I have talked of my stable of men.

I had thought that sometimes men runaway from me. they enjoy being with me but suddenly bolt like frightened cats. This I put down to them not really liking me as much as they could. But I am beginning to realise now that I was wrong. They run because they do like me. It isn't me that frightens them but their own feelings towards me. Thomas has just promised that he wont do it again. He hadn't realised that I had noticed that was what he had done.

which best describes what I have harem or stable or is there a better way to collectively describe my men.

Crisis over

I am back to normal now

sometimes happy
sometimes miserable
and other times somewhere in between.

Friday, 10 August 2007


I feel like I have been kicked in the teeth

Thursday, 9 August 2007

I adore him

I am confused

we have chatted for 2.5 hrs this afternoon/evening this our sixth conversation since sunday afternoon. he refers to our illicit affair. does he want an affair? He had talked previously of not becoming attached as he has a partner of 20 years.

I adore him, I adore his eyes his lips his soft light brown curly hair with fine hints of silver. I adore his slender fingers, I adore his voice, I adore the words he writes to me.

I feel the heat in my loins when we chat or write to each other. he has been special to me for many months. I had thought our correspondence was over after hearing nothing from him for 3 months.

he calls me his delight, his sweet, his darling,his honey,his angel, his perfect lover, he calls me by my given name( he is the only one other than my grandparents).

he adores me, he adores my mind, my pretty face

he wants us to 'play lovingly together as we gaze longingly into each others eyes enjoying the expressions of pleasure on our faces.'

he tells me

sweet angel of joy sadly I must go, bless you until next time. I love you xxxx

why did he have to go and say that ?
he has never used the word before !!

I adore him of course I do but my heart is elsewhere

Here comes the rain again

As I was in the shower this morning the words of this song popped into my head. I really don't remember hearing it for a very long time so why is it in my head this morning.

Eurythmics - Here comes the rain again

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

So baby talk to me, Like lovers do
Walk with me, Like lovers do
Talk to me, Like lovers do

Here comes the rain again
Raining in my head like a tragedy
Tearing me apart like a new emotion
I want to breathe in the open wind
I want to kiss like lovers do
I want to dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

So baby talk to me, Like lovers do
Walk with me, Like lovers do
Talk to me, Like lovers do

So baby talk to me
Like lovers do

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(Here is comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you

Here comes the rain again
Falling on my head like a memory
Falling on my head like a new emotion
(Here is comes again, here it comes again)
I want to walk in the open wind
I want to talk like lovers do
I want dive into your ocean
Is it raining with you.....

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

He tells me

He tells me I am a gorgeous kisser
he says he wants me and wants me and wants me

He tells me I am a great kisser and very sexy, we do have great sex together

He tells me I am perfect, he loves my sexy voice, the only thing wrong with me is that I have kids

He tells me I am the sweetest person he knows

He tells me I am a sweet girl

He tells me nothing just holds me close, kisses me and makes me feel happy

Monday, 6 August 2007

I am just a jealous girl

I was going to comment on Curvaceous Dee’s post Green eyes. I even began to write a comment but it was getting too long so figured that to give proper attention to the subject I should write my own post.

During the past year I have had a number of married lovers. At no time have I felt any jealousy towards their wives. Yet when I joined forces with SL to be a couple swinging together I did feel pangs of jealousy when he was interacting with another woman. I wanted him to be touching me not her. Yet I never asked him if he felt the same way when he saw me being touched by another man. But it didn’t bother me that he went home to his wife. I had no other problems with jealousy as far as swinging with SL went. We were close but not emotionally involved and when he told me about his bisexual experiences the only pangs of jealousy I felt were that he was getting more cock than I was. He was going off and enjoying himself on his own when we were meant to be a partnership. But I understood that many of the men he was meeting were gay as opposed to heterosexual or even bi. I knew that he saw other women but as I didn’t know who or when that didn’t bother me although I suspect it might have done if I had known the who, when and where side of it.

We began talking to a woman (Andie) who lives near me and is slightly younger, he wanted her to join us on some of our encounters with others. This didn’t happen, but after we had not spoken for a while we chatted one day and he told me he had gone off the whole scene it was getting too samey. I later learnt that he had teamed up with Andie but not told me. I was not and am still not jealous of her. (she and I were chatting for ages last night and plan to meet up for a drink.). I was not happy that he had replaced me with a younger model without telling me. I have now learnt he has moved onto a younger woman but Andie doesn’t seem to know. I don’t feel any jealousy, more annoyance but also relief as I realise that he was not good for me. He is a far greater player than I had realised.

I did feel jealous of the other women that Mr Passionate was seeing when I first met him. Chatting with another woman one day we were comparing the men on our profiles and those we both knew. When we got to Mr Passionate I told her hands off he’s mine, I was only joking but a part of me did feel that way. I told him what I had said to her he wasn’t pleased as he can see who he likes. I did make light of it saying I had been joking. He had already had one woman get in a strop with him when I had left a testimonial on his profile, she threw a fit and wouldn’t speak to him. Not long after that he decided that he just doesn’t have time to see other women. I was devastated that I was losing him but he said he will always have time for me ;-).
So now he only has two women in his life, his wife and me. Although I had felt jealous of his other women I don’t feel jealous of his wife. There have been times when she has rung or text him while he has been in my bed, but he waits until he has left before he replies. We talk about the other men in my life but he never shows any sign of jealousy, his only worry was that he thought I was going all moral on him and he wouldn’t see me anymore after I made my decision to give up married men.

Now I am seeing Forest but not often enough so I sometimes see Oxo both of them are single. Oxo knows that I have someone I really like but he’s happy being my fuck buddy. Before we met Forest knew that I was seeing other men and expects me to continue doing so. He was seeing another woman from time to time. I have no idea if he has seen her since we met. I don’t want to know as I know I would feel jealous. Not so much that he has seen her but that he has spent time with someone else when he could have been with me. When I told Forest that I had been dropped by SL he wondered if we could swing together as a couple. That was after all how we began chatting in the first place. Some days I feel I would love to swing with him as the idea excites me but other days I recoil from the idea. How could I even contemplate sharing this man I crave so much with anyone else? I just know that if the two of us swing together then the green eyed monster will surely rear its ugly head. I get confused when I think of him and jealousy. I see Oxo and rub it in his face because he is not with me himself, I don’t care if that makes him jealous, I hope it does as he has driven me into the arms of Oxo by his infuriating attitude. He actively encourages me to see other men yet I don’t want to see others, only him.

This is part of a comment by Temptress which Curvaceous Dee was answering.

How is it that you're ok with sharing? Try as I may, even though the thought of it turns me on, I can't really say I would be ok with it. And it makes me feel dreadfully selfish.

Now this I can fully relate to as it is how I feel about swinging with Forest. The thought of swinging with him does turn me on, it is incredibly tempting but then I battle with the jealousy I know I would feel at sharing him, but why should I feel jealous, what right do I have to feel jealous when since before I even began talking to him I was seeing multiple men.

Curvaceous Dee was also addressing a question posed by Z part of which was this

I still can't stop the pangs at times. And then it's worse, because I hate myself for my mean-spiritedness.

Again this is a feeling that I can identify with. I try to rationalise my feelings of jealousy. I tell myself that we don’t own each other we are free to see whom ever we wish. If I can have sex with others I can’t complain about him having sex with others.

Finally I must finish by quoting Curvaceous Dee.

For me, a lot of my jealous feelings boil down to my sense of self-worth. As my self-worth increases, my fears of abandonment recede (that, and I have the knowledge that even were I to be abandoned by everyone I love, I would still cope, for I have that strength)

I think this is a lesson I have been learning over the past year.

Sunday, 5 August 2007

Heaven is a place

his touch as light as a feather
kisses upon my cheeks
tracing the lines made by the other
his tongue, his fingers
upon my arse
where earlier had been
first a heavy hand
kissing the marks left
by the leather paddle
his fingers follow the lines
from the caning
I had received
every second of pain worth it
to have him here
making me swoon with pleasure
as his fingers delve and his tongue licks so lightly
with his fingers still inside
he leans over my back
to kiss my hungry lips
I am trapped upon this bed
under this man I crave
the words in my head
sing out loud
Heaven is a place in room 205
does he think me crazy
for this thing I have done
no he knows it is just
me being me
all too soon he has gone
leaving me to remember how
he had held me close
his laugh in reply as I
declare how nice he smells
his smile as I admit
I have missed you
there is a space now
beside me lying here
with a sadness that
he couldn't stay
with heavy eyes I
begin to drift away
to the land of dreams
was this all in my mind
no I have the marks
on my skin and the
shadows on my heart
where they have been
good night and
sweet dreams
to you both

Interview by Prada Pixie

Prada Pixie was interviewed by Trousers and asked for volunteers, and not being one to skip a challenge I decided to have a go. If you want to be subjected to my questions about you, follow the rules and I'll get back to you.

Directions for the interview meme:

1. Leave a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. Please make sure I have your email address.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment, asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1.You have sons, what life lessons have you taught them, to help them cope with what gets thrown at them?

I hope that I have taught them that you are more likey to get along in life if you treat others with respect. I have taught them honesty and kindness.

2.Since you have had to deal with having had cancer how have you changed, if at all, as a person?

I guess that as a person I have not changed all that much, but I have learnt not to let my life slip by without getting in there and doing things. I am much more willing to try things now before deciding whether I like it. I discovered that life is for living not just for trying to get to the end of the journey in one piece.

3.Outside of having had children, what are you most proud of having achieved in your life?

Now this is a difficult one as I don't feel that apart from my children and related activities I have actually 'acheived' a great deal but I am on the way to achieving my qualification in IT skills for commerce. I am proud of my ability to use words in such a way that it gives pleasure to others which leads to my ambition of writing a book someday..........research is in progress. I shall begin a writer's workshop course in september.

4.Where would you like to visit in the world that you haven't yet?

As I have been to very few places I would love to go anywhere at all...sad I know but so true oh well when the boys have all left home and I have more time and money I shall start to travel

5.Describe your most romantic date ever.

my most romantic date will sound silly and it was only recent and very brief. It was back in april of this year when I received a text from a man I had met for a drink for the first time the previous day. he wanted to see me again but we both knew that I had the school run to do which wouldn't leave us much time. we met at a beauty spot fairly local to me. Although I had timed my arrival to the length of time it would take him to get there he was there before me. we walked through the woods holding hands as we chatted, stopping by the ponds to kiss. we only had an hour and we didnt do much but for me that was the most romantic date I can think of.

Saturday, 4 August 2007


'These legs will soon be wrapped around you' says the message with the picture as I press send. It has been far too many months since last we were together. Our own lives conspiring to keep us apart, has done nothing to dampen our passion for each other.

But tonight we have an opportunity we could not let pass. A chance to spend an hour or so bodies locked together. how could we not grab this chance with both hands.

'Mmmm very nice indeedbabe. Ive now got a raging hard on lol.' comes the reply. Not long now to wait for him to arrive. He tells me to rest I may need it. how can I rest knowing my lover is on his way.

I am back

I am back !!

I am sure you are pleased to know I had a great time

I arrived home at the same time #3 son was setting off for his morning paper round

I need sleep but how could I sleep without catching up on blogland first.

whilst I was sneaking into blogs to see what I missed yesterday I had a long chat with The Man telling him all about my night away from home answering his questions as best I could.

But now my friends I must sleep

so you will have to wait to discover what I choose to reveal

Thursday, 2 August 2007


I won't be posting on friday as I shall be out and wont be back until I am good and ready.

lucky lucky forest will get to spend some time with me

tomorrow will be a day for secrets

some of these secrets will be revealed at the right time

none of the people who I have secrets with know all my secrets

there will be sex there will be photos there will be ............

Saturday I shall be sleeping!!

sugasm #90

Sugasm: A Devilish DigestSugasm #90

Mon 30th Jul, 07The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #91? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Fat can be sexy
“I understand what it’s like to be surrounded by images that reinforce that skinny is the ONLY way to achieve sexiness.”

Are Women Visual Critters, Too?
“With the invention of the internet, however, I think that it gets even more complicated.”

Marriage, Monogamy, and All that Jazz
“My chosen lifestyle and relationship type wasn’t making any sense to the other women.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
S Magazine

Editor’s Choice
Supply and Demand

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Am I Missing Anything, Really?
Catalina loves the Museu de l’ Erotica
Cheating Men
“How much confession can one read before becoming uncomfortably numb?”
I’m a Woman Man: Episode 2 - Faces
Lulu Forever
Playground positions
So many rabbits…

BDSM & Fetish
Car Wheels on a Gravel Road
Dirty words
Fetish Film - English Punishment Series (Spanking, Caning)
The Flesh Remembers
Fun with a subby boy
Luring the Guardian Angel
The Percentage Game
Sukebe Otaku: Happy Tears, Revisited
Teeth and claws and cock and cunt
Thunder: Service With A Smile
The Violent Kiss
Wake up bitch…
Worshipping post-erior - leaving my mark
You suck!

Sex News & Reviews
Lelo Nea Mini Vibrator Review
Sex In The Virtual World - Computer Games

Sex Humor
How To Get His Attention

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Amy of 24.7 in the Kitchen
Drum Solo (video)
Half-Nekkid Exhibitionist

Sex Work
Busy Princess Play Day

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Distracted by Her shoes
I Want
No reservations, part 1
An old friend
Sleeping Beauty…
Supply and Demand
That Kiss
We were in heat

Wednesday, 1 August 2007


I was betrayed!!

I had made up my mind

I was going to enjoy this

I wanted his touch

I wanted him to force my legs apart

I wanted him to take me

I wanted him to make me join with him

I wanted my mind to control my body

I wanted this to be a battle

I wanted him to fight for my body

But I was betrayed!!

my body had other ideas

my body wanted his touch

my body moved towards him

my body arched to his touch

my body convulsed as his fingers probed

my body let my legs spread

my body invited him in

my body wanted him inside me

my body betrayed my mind

mascara !!

I have had to go all day with no mascara ;-(
I dont wear much make up never have done
just a touch of lipstick I like to co-ordinate the colour with what I am wearing and a touch of mascara. I think my eyes look too tired without it.
I am convinced I put my mascara in my handbag last night.

I had changed bag from my everyday black sack that I carry my course work in along with my purse, mobile phones, hair brush etc, ready for my date.

When I got home from work yesterday (I was late having gone shopping on the way) there was an email from FF who I was meeting for a drink. He wanted to meet at 5.30 it was already 5pm and I needed a shower. so I was running late. I finally got to the appointed place at about 5.50pm phew me not too bad!!! we had a lovely chat about all sorts of things. As we were leaving he asked me if I had dressed to tease him. I had done but to be honest I would normally dress this way to go out anyway. A nice mid calf black skirt and a new black,white, grey and apricot top which admittedly shows quite a bit of cleavage (most of my tops do). He also said that next time we meet he will take me out for a meal and I can decide whether I want to seduce him.

Later I was on the internet chatting and blogging when Oxo came online. We chatted for a few minutes then the kids decided that it was their turn to use my pc. I told Oxo I would be off line for a while but he said "cum over here then" so I did. Grabbed a cheese sarnie before throwing a few things into my overnight bag and then I was on my way. my radio informed me it was midnight just as I pulled up in front of his place. I walked through the kitchen door just as he was pouring an amber liquid into two glasses of ice. We took our drinks into his bedroom. It was nice to just recline on the bed sipping our brandy as we chatted, catching up on what we had been up to in the last couple of weeks. After a bit of snogging we stripped off our clothes and got under the cover for some very hot and sweaty coupling. I have no idea what time we fell asleep but I was woken by his dog going crazy in the conservatory. He managed to settle her before falling asleep again. It was lovely waking up this morning two bodies stuck together sticky from our sweat a sweet reminder of last night.

As I showered and got ready for work he made mugs of steaming tea which we drank as we watched breakfast news together and discussed the change in the rules regarding electrical instalments. He gave me directions of how to get to work avoiding the main traffic. Before leaving I put on my lip stick but search as much as I could both in my handbag and my overnight bag there was no mascara. so today I had to go to work with no mascara.