Sunday, 29 June 2008

fending off men

For weeks Lotto was doing everything he could to persuade me to meet him in his hotel for a drink but hopefully also a night of passion. He chatted on IM several times a week, he text me regularly. He began asking me what I was wearing at work. He started sending me pictures and even a video, but when I told him that words do more for me than pictures and videos he wrote me a two part fantasy. Lotto has known all the time that my loyalty is with Romeo, he said he understood, but still he wanted me.

Last weekend we were chatting on IM then when I went to bed he phoned me, which was very mmmmmm. I has been ages since we last spoke on the phone. During the past week I have seen him sign into messenger but he hasn't even said hello.

Whilst I was out on Friday night I checked my phone and found that I had two new messages, my excitement that they were from Romeo was short lived when I discovered that both were from Steel. I am not sure if I ever mentioned him before. I can't remember exactly when but around about November last year I was feeling a bit blue probably following the episode with Skipper. I joined one of those text sites, one of the first guys to send me a message was Steel. We exchanged a number of text, I told him I wasn't looking for NSA he said he wasnt either. Over the next few weeks we were texting each other a few times each day, but I noticed if I didn't reply to his text fairly quickly he got impatient. Then as xmas was getting closer he made his suggestion that I should go up north to spend a weekend with him in a hotel then if we got on ok he would spend xmas with me and the boys.

Flaming cheek, I soon put him right, I had no intention of spending a weekend with him or having him stay for xmas. I made it clear that in my book we would have to see how we got on before deciding to go to a hotel. He agreed wholeheartedly but still continued in the same vein. By xmas I was ignoring most of his text messages which is something I find very hard to do. It goes against the grain for me to be so rude as to not reply. At the start of the year I was still getting messages every few weeks........Hi LiR remember me Steel I still think about you. I never once replied. By about the time I found Romeo the messages seemed to have stopped. That was until Friday night.................Hi LiR its steel do u remember me how are u xxxxx
needless to say I have not responded in any way shape or form.

Last night as I was chatting online with LV I got a message from Oxo, we had chatted briefly a week or so ago so I was surprised to hear from him again so soon. Espescially as the first thing he said was



we chatted for a while with him making suggestions that I should go over to his.

I miss those subtle lips of yours and theres room in my bed for two plus the dogs and four pups (his dog had puppies recently)

wanna come ova?

thanx for asking

so hows you?

fine ......out on the piss las night with work

get lucky?

lmao I wasn't looking

love life ok?

fending them all off except one

glad to hear it


not so lucky


oxo is offline

He always does that, asks how my love life is then signs out when I don't tell him I don't have one............well I'm not likely to tell him that am I. I can just imagine what it would be like if he knew the truth.

I have not heard from Romeo since 10.3pm last night :-(

Thursday, 26 June 2008

straight forward?

Tonight was the first of my two nights out.

I had my outfit picked out and hanging on my wardrobe door. I planned to leave work on time for a change (4.30pm) managed to leave at 4.45pm.

Almost home when I get the phone call (hands free kit comes in handy sometimes). It just so happens that OJ has a job interview for a call centre in one of the business estates outside town. His dad had arranged the appointment for him at 7pm because he thinks I would prefer not to rush out as soon as I get home. But because I was already going out I asked DC to take OJ, he said he could take him but not bring him back. So today I got OJ to give me SF's phone number and I rang him from work to see if we could get OJ's appointment brought forward. (SF has told me for months that the screen on his phone is broken and he cant read numbers on it but he knows how far to scroll to call the boys. I thought it would be safe to phone him from my work phone He only rang me back twice!!!!!!) During the afternoon it has been arranged that OJ's appointment is brought forward to 5.30pm

The call while I am driving is to tell me that DC (who finished work at 4pm today) still isn't home. I try to phone DC but no answer. So I tell OJ if he is quick I will take him but DC will have to collect him. Having dropped him off I then join the queues of traffic I had avoided by getting home earlier.

Getting into the shower is such a relief, quickly dressing, decide that I don't like the top I have chosen to go with the skirt. So I end up ironing the same top I wore last year. (why did it need ironing again? it has been hanging up with the clothes I dont wear often, for months). OJ phones to say he has finished can I go get him. I am stood at the ironing board, my hair needs drying I dont have any make up on and my mum is due to pick me up in 15 minutes.

First I call mother tell her I will make my own way, then I dry my hair, apply make up, just cleaning teeth when I get a phone call. It's Orange asking me about my land line changing provider or being cut off. I tell her that its my fault I should have told them by now that I ahve changed broadband provider. She wants to put me through to the cancellation department. I tell her I don't have time. I find myself listening to their canned music while I get more and more impatient. when she comes back I tell her I don't ahve time can I do this another day. But she is adamant it must be now. I start talking to Mark he puts me on hold while he checks something. Fingers tapping, toes tapping this is not good!!!!!

Finally everything is fine I have had my account closed I don't need to do anything else. thank Fuck for that.

finally I am ready to leave just need to fetch OJ first, I have been phoning DC on and off for the last hour but got no response. Just as I was walking down the path towards my car I saw DC's car go past. He had picked up OJ but neither of them ahd thought to let me know grrrrrrrrrr.

At dinner I find myself sat next to a local councilor, mother is sat next to the Lady Mayoress. The evening was like most of these events pleasant and at times funny, but I was tired. the after dinner entertainer was Shep Wooley.

When I got home I found an email from LV, I had challenged him to do the Meme that I did last week. here is his reply.

LV - MeMe Sunday 22nd

1. What was I doing ten years ago?
Enjoying Full Time job after 4 years unemployment, due at the time to my 3rd redundancy

2. What are five things on my list to do today?
Get up – eventually
Weekly shop – Morrisons
Watch French GP on TV
Apply weedkiller / feed to front and back lawn
A little bit of ironing

3. Snacks I enjoy?
Marmite Rice Cakes

4. Things I Would Do If I Were A Billionaire?
Oh I would enjoy life without ever asking the price

5. Three of my bad habits?
Don’t suffer fools gladly – I’m told it shows
Enjoy snacks too much !

6. Five places I have lived?

a) Bitterne, Southampton. My school years Extensive views of all the Great Liners of the 50s and 60s in the docks

b) West End Southampton. Moved the week Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. We’re moving out to the sticks my father said, it will be so quiet. Within 6 years the M27 was built a few hundred yards away, along with the biggest Sainsburys / Marks and Spencer retail complex in the country at the time.
c) London N7 for a year at college. Hall of residence was 3 old houses in Carleton Rd – across the road the view was the high rear wall of Holloway prison. It changed a bit a few years later with major redevelopment . The wall is further back and they have built flats there. Google Earth it to check!

d) Hythe Hampshire – to be closer to pl;ace of work. Made redundant 3 months later !

e) Totton Southampton – 4 different addresses over last 20 years.

7. Five jobs I've had?

a) Rubber Technologist

b) Nuclearpharmaceuticals Logistics Assistant

c) UK Sales Manager for Waste Management Company

d) Technical Sales Manager – Powder Coating
e) Assistant to Company Buyer

Wednesday, 25 June 2008



8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite Thing !
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favouritething!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

Making A baby

This is hilarious! There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

'Good morning, Ma'am',

he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed,

'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes... Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'


'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Saturday, 21 June 2008

no knickers please

'we could meet in Swindon, thats about half way'

He had been saying that for several weeks. We had both been researching Swindon on the net looking for the best place for two people who have never met, to meet in a place neither of them knew. We both knew it would be weeks before we were both able to get away from our own families in order to meet. I was excited not just at meeting him, he seemed to be so sexy and intelligent when we spoke, but for me there was something else, something he didn't know, a deeper darker reason for wanting to meet him. But my excitement had grown when he had suddenly announced that he couldn't wait he needed to see me next week, we would meet on Saturday afternoon.

Now it is Tuesday morning and I am driving, feeling sleepy, trying to stay awake for the long drive up and down hill speeding south planning to stop at the 24 hour Tesco store where the A road I am on joins the motorway. I hadn't guessed when we spoke on saturday that he would become so impatient that we would have done this tonight. I had been on edge all day at work, praying that none of the family would ask me where I was going as I left the house at 6pm on this chilly early april evening. It had been growing dark by the time I arrived at Leigh Delamere services in Wiltshire a couple of hours later.

I must have been crazy, this was not a good idea, anything could have happened. I hadn't even seen a picture of him before we met. He had described himself but said that he was not very computer savy so hadn't managed to upload a photo although there was a picture of a car like his. (funny how so many men are not 'computer savy' enough to upload a photo).

I was a free agent, my marriage was over even if the paperwork was not yet complete and we were still living in the same house. I blamed him for my new love running off with 'The Bitch' . I needed this new man, I need him for my own selfish reasons. HE had gone off with The Bitch and I was hurting, how could he tell me he loved me then go off with HER. So I needed this new man to help me heal the hurt, but what better way to do this than meeting him in the place where The Bitch worked.

Arriving first I had wandered around going to the ladies then pottering around the shops and cafe. All the time wondering if The Bitch was working tonight and if she was would HE also be there somewhere as he waited for her to finish her shift. I didn't see either of them so returned to my car. As I walked over there he was parked next to my car. We had agreed that if I wasn't happy when we met then I could just drive away no hard feelings. I wasn't sure about getting in to his car so he got into mine. We chatted for a while then I drove across to the far end of the car park which was deserted. Parking under a street lamp that wasn't working (ha ha thats was funny it kept flickering into life for a few minutes at a time).

'wear a skirt and no knickers'

he had instructed me last night

'the thought of you driving to meet me with no knickers on will be very arousing'

We chatted some more then we began kissing, slipping my shoes off, I climbed across into the passenger seat planting myself in his lap. His hand inside my skirt, touching my already aroused and wet pussy. My hands pulling at his soft black roll neck sweater, tugging it over his head exposing his smooth chest. Soon we are both devoid of clothing as we explore each other with our hands and mouths. It feels good to have this slim toned body under my touch. He is very handsome this man who has me in his grasp. His arousal very obvious as is mine. Half worried half excited that someone might guess what was going on in this car with the windows steamed up under the spotlight that is the flickering street lamp. Like a beacon showing everyone where we were. He shows not a flicker of concern as I crouch in the well of the car with my lips and hands caressing and pulling on his erection. I hadn't yet learned how to hone my cock sucking skills but even so I still knew I was good at it even in these early days. Instinct and long ago memories of converting a previous lover who had been unaware of the joys of receiving fellatio, hold me in good stead.

It was approaching midnight on this frosty night before we broke apart, saying our goodnights with promises to meet again soon. Perhaps I wouldn't be needing HIM in my life afterall, let The Bitch keep him. So here I am at 1am, a smile on my face, struggling to stay awake as I head towards HIS home town. Feeling that this 200 mile round trip for a fuck in my car was well worth the effort.

Monday, 16 June 2008

A story for me

Last night Lotto told me that he was writing me a story. He emailed me 'chapter one' which considering it was his first attempt at writing a fantasy it was in my opinion very good. I agreed to write a story to go alongside his (kind of a her version of his story). Today he wrote and sent me part two. I won't post his story in its full form as that wouldn't be right. But here are a couple of exerpts

He felt the hot water run over his body as he massaged the soapy lather into his tanned skin. People always remarked on how brown his skin was given his industrial Caucasian roots. He noticed that he was still aroused and looked down at his......................

Both he and she had wrestled with the moral issues and both had gave way to their respective thoughts in favour of a meeting.

She changed, as instructed, into a new pair of black 10 denier tights....................

He led her by the hand and turned her so he was standing behind her and began to kiss her neck and.......................

He sat on the bed and pulled her playfully across his knee and began to slap her arse - she seemed to enjoy it............

She slid on her black seamed stockings and then sat astride him gently............

He sat proud on the bed as she duly obliged and rolled the gossamer sheath over his erection

Lotto was online chatting to me briefly this evening

he told me

i'm working hard to turn you on LiR
i want you LiR

i want my correspondence to turn you on, make you feel the need to play with yourself and think about my story as you do

with flattery like this do you see now why I find him hard to give up?

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Triangles of what?

I have been trying to work out in my own mind what I am doing. This monring I read this post by my friend Z. She has explained so well what it was like when I was seeing my various lovers, many of them married or with girl friends.
Each lover was different, each gave me different things none was either more special or less so than the others. I didn't ask about their wife/partner but if they wanted to tell me I listened. What we had was in the moment. I gave them my full attention and they gave me theirs whilst we were together. they all knew there were others and sometimes they liked to hear about them, they found it a turn on to hear about my other encounters. Some liked to give me advice about how to handle various situations with one or other of my men.

Now I don't see any of them (my choice) although I have not told one of them that we are over. The situation where we are both available has not arisen so it isn't an issue, I have only made sporadic contact with him, we both have busy lives and I am sure he has found others to fill the spaces I have left, even though I have no doubts that he would make space for me again. We both know we were good together.

I have moved on from that time when I craved sexual atention more than a one to one relationship. I am going through a self induced drought. I gave up my encounters with Oxo last autumn (he has now finally given up asking me to visit him). So apart from one weekend with Harvey last November and ne afternoon when I was juped by Coach back in January I have been celibate since early September.

Since last November/December Lotto has been trying to persuade me that he really really wants me. From when we first got in contact early last year, meeting for a drink in March of that year until December 2007 I was under the impression that he was single. He had always maintained that he fancied me and wanted to do naughty things with me, but he didn't want a relationship. As I was at that time coming around to wanting a relationship I kept him on the back burner simm ering away but never coming to the boil as it were. During the last 6 months though he has been turning up the heat. we both know now that he has a g/f who apparently isn't interested in sex. I don't quite know where she fits in the picture as I know he lives alone, he doesn't seem to be with her in the evenings or weekends apart from a few weeks ago when he was texting me while she was upstairs. I have a man in my heart who I don't want to betray.

My current dilema is having two men who both turn me on, one is available but doesn't want a relationship the other does want a relationship but is never in the country. So all the time that Lotto is on the scene there is always the promise of the opportunity to end this drought with a very sexy man who keeps telling me how much he wants me. But however much he wants me I know he would just be using me to get the sexual gratification he doesn't get in his relationship.
If I was to give in to his pleas to satisfy my own sexual appetite I would be using him because even when he is turning me on with his pleas, he is not the one I trully want to be with.

Romeo on the other hand does want me as the complete woman which of course includes the sexual being that he adores. He wants the long term relationship, but isn't here, he knows there are other men in my life but he trusts me completely just as I trust him.

If I give in to the lust that Lotto brings out in me .........'god I feel so fucking horny I want to fuck you now baby' ...... just one of the text I sent him last night during our 3 hour lust up. I would be using him which I don't want to do. I would be betraying Romeo which I really don't want to do. Lotto says that isnt so as I have not yet met Romeo. Maybe we have not met but I still feel committed to him.

I could easily meet up with Lotto for a night of passion (he has just begun to chat on IM and has instantly got me aroused) and Romeo need never know, easy. But I would know. I have been thinking about this business of using. I really should stop chatting to Lotto if I don't want to have sex with him, all the time I am chatting but not going through with meeting him I am leading him on. But I can't give him up, he gives me the constant reminder that someone who has met me still finds me desirable. I don't like the idea that I am using him, but would that be so bad, he is after all just using me to get the sexual gratification he isn't getting from anywhere else. But he could get it elsewhere, he has offers from other women but it is me he wants. I tell myself to give him up, he isn't Romeo the man I really want. He doesn't really want me just sex with me. I should give him up I deserve better than one night of sex with a man who doesn't really want me. A man who gets me aroused but isn't the man I want. These two men have me all of a dither yet I have never had sex with either of them. It was so much easier when I was a lover of several, not the one and only for any.


Because I have told Lotto that words excite me more than pictures he is busy right now writing me a story......apparently he is already getting himself aroused as he is writing it.

Saturday, 7 June 2008

shock in time

New (not so new) photos

last night out of the blue I received an email containing 8 photos. Last summer I really wanted these pictures to illustrate my special friday. Now though I have moved on from the place on my journey that I had reached last summer. I had promised to share these photos so although looking at them now does little for me I have posted a few of them for you if you can be bothered to find them. I am not proud of what I did but at the time it was something I needed to do. I don't regret it just don't feel that it has any significance to the person I am now.

ps if you shock easily don't look for these pictures

Sunday, 1 June 2008

google links

Knowing that LV had found my blog by using google I decided to have a look at my stats and find out what the recent google activity was. It is sometime interesting to see what people have googled in order to end up on my blog. I am sure that some of the things they have googled some of these people will be either very shocked or disappointed when they land on my blog depending on what it was they were looking for.

I wander what this person thought when they googled 'hypersex impaling' and landed on this post . It is interesting sometimes to read back over a post I wrote over a year ago, seeing how much I have changed in my thinking in that time but also reading back the comments from that post Interestingly only Vi still comments......mmmm now I wonder did I ever give her the answer to her question. was it true or was it fantasy?

next I checked out 'how to deal with mother-in-law communicating with ex girlfriend of your husband' some people are very precise about what they are looking for. I found myself reading these posts here and here.

'married callgirl' came up with my recent posts I don't think 'call girl' was mentioned once in this post

I read all these post when I followed the link that 'insert finger cervix porn' landed on. probably not what this person was looking for

I seriously wonder what the person who googled 'stockings squirty cream slut' thought when they landed here

So having explored the recent google activity on here I then went to what is now LiR writes and did the same thing.

it seems that there has been a fair bit of interest in 'lady joins the harem'. since then Ron has closed his blog and reopened it so the link to his harem stories has gone. But I did I believe save the Lady in Red story on word I just have to remember which computer then I can post it here again. But if you want to check out Ronjazz's more recent blog then go here.

there seems to be a lot of activity asking for spanking which all seem to lead the reader to either Bring it on or what I learnt.

'Beer garden hot pussy' landed here a good choice or not I wonder.

Now lets see what google activity there has been on LiR

Oh dear who ever was looking for 'how to get mestrip in pokemon diamond' was not wanting to know about my drunken night out this weekend lmao

How funny to find myself reading this having followed the request for 'happy birthday picture naked lady'

Hmm I wonder what else I would find if I followed the same requests on google.