Tuesday, 31 July 2007

life is good at the moment

I got paid today, so I paid my phone bill, filled up my car with petrol (now I stink of the stuffand it was hard to breathe without swallowing some). topped up the electricity key. managed to block my phone that I had just paid the bill for. (I forgot I changed the sim pin and turned the thing off by mistake!!) my sunglasses broke just when we get some sun!!

went out for a drink with married male friend. had text from Forest looking forward to our rendevous.

Now I'm off to spend night with Oxo ;-)


It seems that some people are concerned about what I am planning to do. There have been emails exchanged and I would like to say a thank you to those who are concerned about me, thank you for caring enough to express your worries.

perhaps I can put your minds at rest if I assure you that I have been in contact with a spanking group for their advice which has been gladly given. Today I have had a chat on the phone and spoken on msn with my partner in this adventure.

we have now given each other our written reasons why we are doing what we are.

this is part of what my partner says

First and foremost - I'm doing this as a friend. Not a lover, or a prospective lover, or a sadist. A friend. You say you want to experience something, and I can help.

Secondly - yes, it turns me on. But only if and when it turns you on.
If it stops being "pleasurable" for you, then it does for me too, and we stop

Thirdly - I want you to enjoy it, and to want more, on other occassions. So I'm not going to take you over your limits, because that would be self-defeating.

If we get it right, it will be an intense experience, especially for you. And I want to make that happen for you.

here is some of what I had to say

im doing this because I need to satisfy my curiousity. reading and thinking about it turns me on, as you know I have had various discussions with various men about this.
I prefer to do this with you as I know there are no ulterior motives, you know what you are doing we are friends who both care about each other's well being

the way I was feeling about satisfying my curiosity I would have found someone to do this with, its better someone i know and trust

I hope this has allayed any fears you may still have for me.

Monday, 30 July 2007

just realised

just realised its gone midnight and i have posted nothing on any of my blogs today

partly because I have been chatting all day when not doing chores (2 men once 2 men twice and one man 3 times)

partly because I have a lot of thoughts tumbling around in my head that won't form into any semblance of sanity.

new friends to get to know
other friends in turmoil why do men have to stamp their feet and shut their blog as soon as they are unhappy about something.
situations with various men in my life and where they are leading to or not.

Saturday, 28 July 2007

The sins I have admitted to

This is the list of sins I have admitted to. I have received my master's ruling on these misdemeanours.

I have been out in public with no knickers under my skirt
I have boasted to my master about having no knickers on in public
I have shagged one man whilst thinking of another
I have text one man in anger that I was on my way to see another
I have flirted with a man who fancies me knowing that I wont give him what he wants
I have shagged a married man behind my boyfriend's back
I have sent saucy text to my lover when I was in pub with my boyfriend
I have shagged 4 different men in one week
I have written about my sexual encounters for anyone to read
I have made sexual advances to another woman
I have had sex with two men at once
I have teased a man when he is trying to be faithful to his girlfriend
I have let men hear me cum over the phone
I have listened to a man cum over the phone
I have watched men wank on web cam
I have teased men on msn as they wank over my pictures
I have instructed a man how to suck cock
I have asked my master to spank my naked ass
I have given a married man a blow job in a car (more than one, more than once)
I have played naked with a married couple also naked
I have lied to my master pretending not to be wet when I am

It would amuse me greatly to know what in your oppinion would be a proper correction for my sins. My correction is to take place in a matter of days now


I have just turned down sex for the second time this week

what do you recon

I am seeing someone

for sex ....I mean me and you for sex.....casual

I don't think so sorry

why not hun......no ties.........sex would be great

you mean you haven't had any for a while

a couple of months yeah.....you were good


sex was great with you, always

so what about me and you as casual relationship

in another window another man was saying

tell him to piss off

seriously ....do it .....tell him to piss off

Friday, 27 July 2007

I did it!!!

wow finally I did it I got there !!

I managed to get the computer in my bedroom connected to the internet through a wireless connection. I can now blog or surf to my hearts content in privacy and in my own time instead of waiting for my turn on the living room pc.

I am giving the boys my old computer that has been in my room for the past 6 months to have in their room for playing games on. Now that I have got the one that had hard drive problems fixed running in my room. (I found a special tread mill for computers on ebay). the one with the typing problems is still in the livingroom as is #1 son's laptop these are sharing the wired internet connection until I can get one or both of them set up wirelessly. so no more sitting in the living room trying to hide the screen. no more letting the boys use my computer and trashing my room at the same time. I have my own little piece of heaven. Maybe I shall put a lock on the door and buy an intercom system so they can talk to me..... oh yeah we have msn and mobiles for that silly me!!

so now I will be able to chat to my friends on msn again at normal times. normal! did I say normal why would I want to be normal? It can be interesting to see who is online at 2am or 6am. I had 3 different msn chats this morning before 8am is that normal to most people?

talking to a friend earlier we discussed nutters and I claim to be slightly crazy (N used to call me 'crazywoman' I even have that as profile name on a web site)but my friend says I am balanced my reaction to that is that it stops me falling over and if i do fall I just bounce back up like one of those clowns with the weighted bottom that toddlers have.

talking of toys I have had a couple more plays with my rabbit (I agree with Luka they really shouldn't be made to look like cute animals....isn't it a kind of commercially approved beastiality). Anyway we are getting on better these days but I still think I prefer sex toys of the 6' (approx) warm living male human variety. My rabbit can now make me get to the stage where I feel the blood drain out of my head and I'm on the edge of conscience but he doesn't make me wet. what good is an orgsam without copious amounts of moisture other than it saves the sheets from another soaking ;-)

Thursday, 26 July 2007

another day in the life of.......

The sun is shining in my world today ;-)

On the whole it has been a good day although it could have been better

I didn't get to sleep before 1am

woke up at 2am feeling horny thinking about my imminent adventure

woke up again at 4am (kids were still awake!!)

6.15am got up made breakfast and blogged.

found an off line message from Forest

'we never seem to be here at the same time'

I reply I am here now

then realise his message was sent at 10pm last night (Iwas on computer then but offline)

I text him that I seem to have missed him again

not much later and he comes on line and we have our first msn chat for about 2 months
it is sooo much easier than text. But all too soon I have to shower and go to work. I am leaving earlier today as I am taking my computers to be looked at. I have got a good deal. One pc gets a full health check, the other I believe needs a new hard drive (I was told last year that the hard drive falls over and will do this more and more frequently, this seemed to be the case). It turned out that the hard drive is fine but one of the connections on a cable attached to the hard drive has sheared off. I had a second RAM installed, some drives which were missing were downloaded ie sound. I had all this done while I was at work and collected them on the way home. Total cost a massive £67 so I am well pleased with that. even if I was left with a mere 70p in my purse.

On the down side although it had been very grey all morning it was dry however this changed in time for me to get wet leaving work. By 5pm it was dry and even sunny!!!!
computer is working well, wireless adapter is working but just wont connect with router, I phoned my broadband provider....they dont support this adapter I must contact the supplier. But by this time the supplier was out of office!! so I still dont have a wireless connection.......oh well maybe tomorrow or the day after or the day after or some day.

Oh and a big suprise to me my son told me last night that he doesnt like his car he wants to sell it. He only bought it in march!! so he spent last night looking for cars online this morning he went to look at a peugot 106 (he has 206) but he rang me on my way home to tell me that hes found a new car.....hes swapping it for his current car. He is getting a Suzuki Vitari estate (better for carrying equipment for his band Jaimison)

I wonder how long this one will last before he decides to change it

Not long now

It is not far away now, we have agreed a day.
I have written my list of misdemeanours as I was commanded to do.
I have received notification of his ruling on my misdeeds.
I know how it will start
I know what will be used
I know how I must present myself
I may not move
I may not speak
I may not rub my ass
I will take my punishment
I will be strong
I will find my limits
He will be firm
He will be masterful
He will administer my correction
He will take me to the limit
He knows I will submit
He knows which implements to use
He knows I need this
He may take pictures
He may comfort me in my distress
He may leave me there

We talk often, we talk of many things, but one thing we talk of often is this thing that we plan. It is on both our minds. I think about it a lot. He asks me if I am thinking about it. He asks if it makes me wet. He asks if I will cum during or after, I tell him probably. I get wet just thinking about it so I imagine that the reality will be even more intense. We talk of tears and tissues, of red skirts and red cheeks. We talk of mini skirts and stockings.We talk of hands, paddles and of canes. We talk of arousal. I am scared, I am afraid I will panic with the first strike but I know I won’t. I have not come this far just to give in that easily. He practices, he wants the lines to be precise. Parallel stripes of red across the pale skin made pink by the use of his hand as he warms my skin in preparation.

Tell me do you want to learn of my misdemeanours.
Tell me do you want to learn the nature of my prescribed correction.
Tell me will you want to see evidence that I received what I am due

Wednesday, 25 July 2007


It’s all about counting now,
First I am counting the days
Soon I shall be counting the hours
Then I shall be counting the strokes

He may be counting the days
Soon he will be counting the hours
Then he will be counting the lines
Its all about counting

Tuesday, 24 July 2007

When you get here

she catches sight of him across the room

as she looks up from the menu

her heart misses a beat

she hadn't expected to see him

her stomach lurches

should she acknowledge him

he catches her eye and winks

she smiles and turns

to her companion

to continue their deliberations

should she have the caesar salad or

cumberland sausage and mash

her companion chooses a ploughmans lunch

she swaggers off to the bar to place their order

as she leans over the bar checking out the drinks

a hand she feels lightly brush across her ass

he stands a little apart from her

placing his own order for himself and his family

'I didn't expect.....'

'.....to see you here '

he finishes for her

he smiles 'I'm glad'

her order placed with the staff

back to the table she returns

while she eats she catches a glimps of a leg

or an arm as he speaks animatedly

with his family

his face hidden from view

later a text she receives

you looked happy and peaceful

you too and your son looks just like his sexy father

your mother could be your sister

hands off you are mine

yes and I shall prove it when you get here

Bibionymphomania Meme

Biblionymphomania Meme ...

The other day I was tagged by George who had been tagged by Gillette, who had been tagged by Sulpicia, with this meme …

We are to reveal the most fun thing you ever did that involved a book or books in some way. That doesn’t mean you had to defile a book. I suppose it could be magazine(s), too. But books and libraries would be more fun for me.

Then to tag 2, 3 or 4 more to continue the meme.

I couldn't even begin to compare my experence with the fun George had. In truth
there has been not one memorable event involving a book. all I can offer up here is the mere explanation that I have had many orgasms whilst reading. I can be reading in bed when my hand starts to wander perhaps to my right breast or maybe to my damp pussy. before long I have worked myself up to such a frenzy that the book gets abandoned sometimes falling to the floor. All this from reading the London A-Z who knows what could happen if I was reading a racey little book!!!

I tag

The Man
Ms R

Monday, 23 July 2007

Situation Vacant

I have a possible vacancy for a man to be by my side (well more accurately in my bed).

I had a husband, we shared a bed for 19 years but in the end I didn’t want to share the bed with him any more so I divorced him and bought a new bed. (the fact that the kids broke it within a few months is irrelevant). We went to court because he was harassing me and on a few occasions I thought he was going to kill me….he threatened to lots of times. But now we are able to be civil to each other again. Last week though he asked if we will ever get back together again…….I told him no.

I had a boyfriend, he has been in my life on and off for 18 months now. He messed me around. He was seeing someone else. He would stay with me for a few weeks then be with her for a few weeks. I thought I was in love with him, I fought to get him back. Eventually he hurt me too badly and I tried to forget him. Then after Christmas we got back together but I wasn’t keen, shouldn’t have agreed. But I wanted to sometimes not wake up alone so I put up with him. It wasn’t good, I no longer thought he was great in bed. His kisses didn’t melt my heart any more. I broke up with him but it took several months for him to accept. Then he wanted to be friends and chat on msn. Every time we spoke he would end up being rude, leaving me wanting to smack him one. Last night we spoke briefly and he was fine, no insults! He invited me over for a drink………I declined.

I have had a number of married men in the past year. The fact they are married means that we could never have more than a few stolen hours occasionally. I got lonely at night and on weekends so I decided to give up my married men. All but one anyway. How could I give up my Mr Passionate. He is as passionate about me as I am about him which is delicious. But I can’t ever see him at the times when I am lonely.

There have been other men, mostly they are too far away or the chemistry just wasn’t right. There is one who I see still. I like him he is kind, has his own home, lives far enough away but not too far. Sexually we are good together. He likes me to stay all night it is nice waking up with him on a Sunday morning. I felt like going to see him last Friday when I was feeling down. I know he would have comforted me, he would have made me feel wanted but I just couldn’t go. I felt that I would have been using him. It wouldn’t have felt right to be sleeping with him while my mind was with someone else. I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself which would have made it less pleasurable for him too. I know he wouldn’t have minded if I was using him. We both know that we are fuck buddies nothing more although he did say a few months ago that it was possible this could become a relationship eventually. This is not what I want though. He is nice, he is safe but he doesn’t light my fire.

I had a friend, we chatted often on msn when he was at work. He wanted to meet me but I was in no hurry and he wasn’t pushing for a date, just reminded me from time to time that he would like to do with me some of the things I was doing with others. He read my blogs often to keep up to date with what I had been doing when we hadn’t chatted for a while. After months we swapped mobile numbers, he warned me that he doesn’t have his switched on all the time. We began to text occasionally but mostly we still chatted on msn. After a few more months we met. I thought I was meeting a friend. In fact I met a very sexy man who completely bowled me over during our chat and consequent walk in the woods the following day. I think the world of him, he is my friend and lover. But timing has not been good since we first met. Either he has been very busy and not had time to chat on msn or I have not been able to get to the computer to chat. Now I work I am unable to chat with him. I have now discovered that he is not very communicative by phone. We do exchange text messages but not as much as I would like. But I accept that is just the way he is. He lost his phone for a couple of weeks which didn’t help, I was climbing the walls not being able to text him. But as always just when I start to think this is not working he will text me. He might not say much but he is caring and thoughtful. My friends tell me to forget him as he obviously isn’t interested he is just messing me about. But I don’t agree. I think he is just being himself, working hard and not being pushy. But I want him to be pushy, I want him to be masterful. In a way he is, he is the one in control here even if he doesn’t say much. I want to see him very much, my body craves the physical contact with him but more than anything it is my friend I miss when we are apart.
We have not seen each other since I went back to work about 5 weeks ago.

So anyway, there is a vacancy in my bed, maybe my sexy friend will fill it but maybe he won’t.

Sunday, 22 July 2007

Leave me alone

I had woken up a little before 4am and decided to take the opportunity to go online while the house was quiet after all it is sunday and I can go back to bed later.
later after I had done my usual round of blogs, sent emails, visited new blogs and ones I hadn't visited for a while. you get so much more done when there are no interruptions. I decided that after two cups of tea, toast and a chat with #1 who was first to appear it was time to return to bed. I had sent my list of misdemeanours to my master who had text to say it was being considered. #4 son had appeared by now and I was in trouble. I had found another site with real life stories of spanking. I copy and paste these, save to memory stick so that I can read them in the privacy of my own room. I am highly aroused and need to play with myself but with 2 sons in the room can't do this.

a few minutes later sat on my bed, I begin to read,as I have said I was already aroused, but as I am reading I am starting to fall asleep can't keep my eyes open. I climb into bed not knowing what I need more an orgasm or sleep. A text disturbs me, I am slightly, but not much more alert. It is time to get my rabbit.
Once in place I turn the vibrations on slowly at first then faster and faster. getting there and the door opens. Quick turn off vibrations before its heard.

Mum can you cut my hair


but I'm goin out later

I'm asleep

he goes away

carefully turn vibrations on but quickly off again

Mum my payment last month for my loan never arrived they rang they didn't recieve it and I'm being charged daily interest. they wanted me to make payment now but I don't get paid until wednesday.

nothing I can do about it go to bank in your lunch break tomorrow

he goes away

mum can my friend sleep over tonight

if you tidy your room first

peace again!!
Now I am really working on this orgasm it has to come so I can go to sleep

mum are you all right?

yes just need sleep go away

I have turned this rabbit on and off so many times now
I turn on my side with it clenched between my thighs, please let me come soon

Mum please can you cut my hair I want to dye it today before I go out

I'm asleep go away

its like flippin Picadilly Circus in here this morning!! what has got into them?
right lets get this thing buzzing again ;-) mmmm this is nice I think I have found the best way to do this. Oh no what now?

mum he can't come his mum says they are going out

ok there will be another day now let me sleep!!

mum if I watch the dvd you got me for my birthday will you cut my hair after, its 72 mins

maybe now go away!!

finally they have left me alone, another few minutes and I achieve my orgasm, good thing too as I was already nearly asleep again.

some time later I wake up, I am lying there listening to the radio and thinking about things. #4 son comes in and lays next to me for a cuddle. my phone buzzes my master has ruled on my punishments.

mum can you cut my hair now?

another peaceful sunday in this house!

Saturday, 21 July 2007

Intelligent men who rock in bed

Last night I read a post on Z’s blog in which she spoke of intelligent men who rock in bed. I commented that I must find one of those as all the intelligent men I meet turn out to be stupid. She very kindly offered to lend me one as she has a few.

Today whilst out driving in the rain I was having random thoughts and suddenly these comments slipped into my mind.

I began to wonder if she had a particular man in mind or if she would line them up for me to choose one who took my fancy. The more I began to think about this I began to wonder if us women could club together and pool all our men as a kind of human sex library. There are different sections in this library to make it easier to make the selection of our choice.
Fiction……..can tell a good tale
No fiction…..can teach new moves
Childrens…… not very mature
Music ……….make your heart sing
Language……….international stud
New releases …….. new acquisition
Myths………….can it really be that big
Easy reading…….good but not much effort put into performance
Movies…………likes to film the action to watch again later
Photography………likes to take digital images of you or them

After hiring a man for a set period the woman must write her review on a card for future women to read before making their choice. There would also of course have to to be penalties for any woman who doesn’t return the man of her choice to the library at the allotted time.
We would of course need to find a responsible and discerning woman to be our librarian and official keeper of men.
Other vacancies would be for buyers and researchers.
Any volunteers?


Hmmm I can honestly hold up my hand and say

I am innocent !!

Ok so I am not totally innocent when it comes to sleeping with a married man or two or three maybe more over the past year

I am not totalLy innocent when it comes to sleeping with more than one man over a short period

I am not totally innocent when it comes to shagging with more than one man at the same time

I am not 100% innocent when it comes to playing with another woman

I am definitely not innocent when it comes to my mind or my sexual activities


I am not saying he has never asked

I am not saying it will never happen


Paranoid and irrational

no great words of wisdom today

I am in a sorry state today

been feeling sorry for myself all day

the torrential rain didn't help

not being busy at work didn't help

too much time to think

too many sad thoughts

paranoia setting in

I know he can't help it if his time is already committed

he can't make the meeting I asked for on the off chance

Oh well never mind is the reaction I gave

its the only logical reaction

but that wasn't enough

having spent all day thinking about whether he trully wants me

wanting to cry, but holding back

I tell him how hurt I am

that he must do better

yet my mind knows that he hasn't rejected me

it is me who is rejecting me for him

my warped mind that doesnt think I am good enough for him

my warped mind that thinks he is ashamed of me

It is me who wants him so bad that I cannot believe he might want me too

I thought about sendng Oxo the secret text message asking to see him

But to my mind I would be using him for comfort

when it is not his arms and lips I crave

I thought of texting PL to meet up before he goes to work

but I figured friday afternoon his wife would be home early

I thought of N but only for a second

I text FF we will meet soon

JJ text me

he is thinking of me while naked in his bed

yes this could be what I need

but neither of us are home alone

we agree to have fun next month when he will have more time

I guess all I can do now is

MY Rabbit

I tried him again a few days ago

just to see

if pleasure he will give to me

at last it seems to be better

he slides in with ease

and vibrates where before he did not reach!!

I must go now to my bed and my new friend

who with his long ears will titilate

and cause me to become wet

relaxation he will help me to find

before into a deep slumber I shall sink

this I shall now do I think

Thursday, 19 July 2007

Playground positions

today I read a post on another blog about playgrounds and the battles that are fought there, somehow I figure the inspiration for this metaphore may have come from a comment I made during a particular conversation. there has been some name calling, back stabbing and other childish squabbles and tantrums going on in blogland. battle lines have been drawn and friends drawn into taking sides.

I have no choice I am on this playground and I look around and see people hurting each other so unnescessarily. I could get drawn into being on either side but I have made a decision. I am going to stand my ground and state my position.

My position!! Over the past year since I started playing the field (I've moved from tarmac to grass now!) I have been asked so many times which is my favourite position. to begin with I couldn't really answer this as I knew only 2 positions (missionary and doggie). then as my experience grew there were other positions I couldn't begin to tell you their names. My education has come in two forms the first being hands on (ahem yes I did mean to say that) practical learning (kinaesetic) and the practice was very enjoyable....ooops I am blushing now. the second form my education has taken is visual learning. I have been reading blogs. some give amusing accounts of sexual encounters which have heightened my delight but others.(I really have to name drop here La Fille Marie and The Sensuous Libertine aka Cherrie) are much more educational in that the descriptions have been so enlightening that I can now honestly say I have been able to enjoy a much more varied sexual repertoire.

first the breath taking La Fille marie. At first when I began to read her blog way back in October 2006 I found her descriptions of her adventures awesome but couldn't see myself doing half of the things she has done. But gradually as the months have flown by (has it really been 8 months already?) I have taken her descriptions and put them into practice. It seems my enthusiasm and willingness to try different positions has made me very popular with the guys I have practiced with. Her journey into the realms of restraint have me hypnotised, her discovery of things such as nipple clamps had me quaking in my boots (high heeled black leather ankle naturally). there is just no way on this earth I would have clamps on my nipples. I hate pain and that would just send me over the edge. (says the woman who is planning to have her ass severely spanked then caned!! in the not too distant future.) This is not something I have reluctantly agreed to but something i have actively courted, begged for even. I very quickly became an avid reader of this awsome woman. One thing I just have not managed as yet is the reverse cow girl. The one time I did try this was with a man whose penis bent towards his navel(how naive I used to think they were all the same). my vagina could not manage to accommodate him in this position. Although I preceeded LFM into the world of sex with multiple partners simultaneously she has far exceeded my experiences. I had reached a stage where I was narrowing my range of experiences but reading her blog has re-awoken my interest in group sex most particularly in experiencing what it would be like to be with another woman, my experiences here were very timid compared to LFM.

secondly Cherrie, no one could read her blog and not learn something. Not only does Cherrie give very heart warming accounts of her own sexual exploits both now and in the past, with or without her husband, with men or women but she has much practical advice. Her friday Positions are always very helpful and inspiring. the research that goes into her writing is enormous. Her directions (no map book needed here) are impecable the pictures she chooses to illustrate her posts are enlightening. If you are ever bored and want to find new positions go have a look at her blog you are bound to find something you would like to try. It was also through Cherrie that I discovered one of the two favourite positions indulged in between myself and Mr Passionate is known as the 'Deep Missionary'.

Anyway I still get asked what is my favourite position? Still I cannot give an answer. Yes I have learnt lots of different ways of having sex. different positions different ways of giving and receiving pleasure. I enjoy so many positions how can I say which I prefer. that would be like asking which lover do I prefer or which colour shirt do I want to wear. On different days I am in different moods, I have different needs. Sometimes I am feeling lively and bright so I could wear a bright orange shirt (oops I am now). other times I am feeling mellow and would wear something pale (can't do that often most of my clothes are brightly coloured) then there are the dark days. Some days I need to be fucked passionately so I would need a lover like Mr Passionate (wonder why I nicknamed him that) or other times I would prefer a more sensuous session another time there is the gentle love making. There are of course lots of others in between. Maybe I should write myself up a menu of men to devour as suits my appetite. Maybe the answer is a buffet or chinese banquet (group sex) where I can take a bite from each dish on offer.

Do I have any favourite positions? yes I have several it depends on who my lover of the moment is. With Mr Passionate we try all sorts of positions but we both love the Deep Missionary with him kneeling before me with my ass resting on his thighs and my stocking clad legs in the air resting on his shoulders with the heels of my boots right beside his head as he thrusts deep inside my pussy. Alternately (and it was he who taught me to enjoy this) he loves to thrust deep inside my ass. I love the exsquite sensations this brings.with another lover our prefered position is for him to be on his back while I straddle him and ride forward cow girl. He rarely wishes to try any other position other than the giving and receiving of oral.Another lover prefers 69 with me on top of him sucking his cock whilst I grind my pussy onto his face.One lover likes to enter me from behind when we are spooning.with other lovers there are no particular favourites we just move from one position to another. I do enjoy the feeling of being able to participate or even control the amount of movement in some positions like missionary or cowgirl. I can change the speed or depth of thrusts. There are times when the deep missionary is good for being fucked hard and deep but there is very little imput I can contribute to this other than to just enjoy, the physical sensations of being filled so satisfyingly and the mental power of knowing that I can make my man want to fill me so deeply.

These days when asked which is my favourite position or what do I like to do first, I just say I follow the flow. each and every session is different, I just see how the mood takes us and what we want to do at any moment. Having a good fuck can't be choreographed. You are asking for an unsatisfactory experience if you try to do that. If the two of you are in tune you will just enjoy whatever position you find yourself in, your bodies will dictate not your brains.
Part of the pleasure is discovering the most satisfactory positions with your lover.

history lesson

Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the kicker...

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.

Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause: Hey, this is one history lesson people don't mind reading

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

Rocking girl bloggers

rocking chick bloggers

woooh hoo I got an award

The incredible Fex from fexual strustrations has tagged me and four others as rocking chick bloggers. for this I am in very grateful and incredulous. I find it extremely flattering that someone of her calibre should think me worthy. The write up she gave me on her blog was very kind.

Now I have to tag 5 other women bloggers who I think rock
this is getting very difficult as most of the women I would choose have already been tagged some like Z have been tagged multiple times. I have given this some thought and decided that some I shall tag again anyway as I still think they deserve it (the accolade that is not being boringly tagged again yawn).

here are the women I choose

Prada Pixie I have only recently discovered Prada pixie, her blog is touching and witty at the same time, she is struggling to cope with life after both breast cancer and love. Her struggles are deeply moving as is her ability to reach out to others to give support.

Vi like many of us she has had many crosses to bear. I find her blog very light and humorous most of the time, it is good to read the daily goings on in her life, the drinking, the men, the drinking and the men oh and did I say drinking. I have met Vi a couple of times she is a very warm and caring woman. some of her post are very touching

La Fille Marie another incredible woman, I have been reading her blog since almost the start of my blogging days. Her writing is insightful,clever, sexy, moving and educating. We have much in common but also many differences too which makes reading her so fascinatingly addictive. I have followed her adventures with great interest. Sometimes coming away feeling I couldnt do as she does then gradually as time goes by thinking well maybe I could. It is the way she writes that has brought me to the conclusion that I can try these things that I had previously thought outside my desires.

z is another blogger I only began to read in recent months. I love her profile stating that she is an introverted exhibitionist. I think this is wonderful and to a degree sums me up. Since I discovered her I have found that there have been many posts that I can identify with but wouldnt think of writing. there are also many times when I have been considering a post on a particular subject only to discover that Z has beaten me to it.

cherrie I have been reading since I began blogging although I must confess not so much in recent months, not because I have lost interest but my pc is not currently in the privacy of my own room but can be seen by my children. I find her blog to be very educating as well as just a joy to read her adventures and the openess of her relationships. she is very friendly and comments religiously on other peoples blogs. She has a great understanding of people and their needs. Her writing is very well researched leaving me to wonder how she has the time to do so much research, have such an active sex life, work, run a home and family and be such a prolific writer.

there are others I think are also awsome women

Tuesday, 17 July 2007


he says I seem to be cross
whatever gives him that idea
I am not cross while we are chatting
perhaps it has something to do with some of my recent posts
"fond" and maybe "scream"
On the whole I am fairly cheerful
I am enjoying going to work again
I am enjoying feeling sexy again after the last few months
whilst not great my life is ok
my social life is improving
maybe I am pre menstral but I don't think it is that
I tend to shout a lot when I am pre menstral (often shouting apologies for shouting)
I am unlikely to be pre menstral as I no longer get menstral and if I was it only lasts a day or maybe two

yes I was cross when he told me that everyone is very fond of me, I was also cross with him because he keeps telling me that the man who I yearn for is a 'fuckwit'. Maybe I need to be told that, but it doesn't mean that I want to hear it or can accept it.

I am cross because that man who occupies my thoughts so much makes me so frustrated. I am cross with me for letting a man get under my skin. I am cross with myself for not being able to keep my feelings to myself, for telling him how I feel. My instinct tells me to play it cool and pretend he doesnt mean anything to me. A male friend told me 6 months ago when I had a crush on GB that I should tell him how much I like him, that men need to be told they are wanted too. So I dither, should I tell him or play it cool. I can't make up my mind so I try to play it cool then I worry that he will think I don't care, so then I over compensate and tell him I really want him, I stop short of using the words love or need (I don't love or need him or any man but boy do I want him).
He is very quiet and unassuming, he is very gentle and safe, but he very quickly got under my skin, that wasn't meant to happen. He was meant to be like the others, he was meant to be nice,kind, a good lover, a good friend, someone I could go weeks or even months without speaking to but when we do its like we pick up where we left off. I have that with others so why not with him. I am cross with myself because I cannot bear to go a day without speaking to him one way or another. I am cross with him because he doesn't keep in contact. I am cross with me for wanting him to, I am cross with him because he won't. I am cross with him because I feel he is playing mind games with me. I am cross with me for being a paranoid idiot, he probably doesnt even think about it. I am cross because I want to see him so much. I am cross because he doesnt mind me seeing another man (not that I was trying to make him jealous). he just text me at the wrong moment. Until I got his midnight text I was frustrated that I hadnt heard from him in hours but his text made me angry. I wanted, to shake him, slap him tell him to wake up. I wanted to tell him I am here waiting for him come and get me!!! I wanted to tell him that he had driven me into the arms of another man when it was him I wanted.

I am cross with my son, he has had a warning from work for having too much time off work ill (hes only been there since feb) but today he was ill. I told him last night to dose himself up and get plenty of sleep, then drag himself into work today. He wasnt due to start work until 1pm!! but he didnt go. I am also cross with him because he was meant to move out a few weeks ago then it was put back to last monday then postponed indefinitely, partly because he didn't have enough money left to pay first month's rent. He's telling me this when hes wearing new clothes and has spent £150 on a ticket to Reading festival and god knows how much on a paintballing session. So hes still here and eating all my food and using electicity and has now completely runout of money. (he had to borrow money for petrol from his younger brother). Because he was moving out I didn't ask him for a month's rent so for a whole month he has only given me £130.

I am cross with my boss, this morning I over heard her telling someone that now she is 50 she has got an appointment to go for a mammagram, but she wont go. she said if she is going to die then she will die. I was not near to her at the time (her voice carries) she was not speaking to me otherwise I would have told her that she was being irresponsible. She then made a phone call to someone about an interview for her 16 yr old daughter. she was concerned that the company's website infers that it employs youngsters from mainly broken homes (her daughter does not come from such a home!!) this comment was noted by both the other people I was working with. She continued to be the caring parent making sure that this company had her daugher's best interests at heart. She is such a caring mother but obviously not caring enough to ensure her health is looked after so that she can continue to be a mother.

In conclusion I guess he might be right.........I might be slightly cross

Sunday, 15 July 2007


wandering along aisles filling up the trolley
with basic food rations for the week
neck feeling tender, bruises starting to come out
throbbing sensation still from beneath flowing skirt
can they tell, these other shoppers
that from her lover's bed she has arrived here
these things will ensure that for a few hours, days
her night will not soon be forgot
to wake up next to this now familiar body
to stroke his back as he stirs from his deep contented sleep
he turns and feels the wetness between her legs as his cock lands in her hand
within minutes he hovers over her as he enters her now pulsing pussy
still sore from the pounding of the early hours
he has made it his mission to reverse the closing of her vagina

"either my cock has shrunk or your cunt has got bigger"

"your cock has not shrunk"

as he pounds into her sometimes into her pussy
somestimes her ass
her thoughts turn to the other one
the one who has made her want to scream

on the way here there were text messages

sometimes you make me want to scream!!

screaming I hope x

in my head but once in the car with my radio up loud i shall scream

lucky u x

at least someone wants to be with me

touche turtle x x

not lucky me but lucky him

must be u too or no reason to x

maybe you dont think he is lucky, he will make me feel wanted, then I wont need to scream

it was u said u not lucky and screaming is good for u

this only made her want to scream even more, why cant he see that it is him she wants to be with
it is good to be with this man as he holds her and kisses and bites her
he fills her aching body
he gives her back her confidence
the confidence the other has been breaking down
the confidence that attracted him in the first place
but he does not make her heart lurch at the sight of him
he does not make her melt in his embrace
his kisses dont make her heart sing

now the sky has turned dark and there is thunder which suits the way she is feeling the thunder is the screaming in her head and the rain is the tears that she tries not to let fall

Saturday, 14 July 2007


"you are a slut and you love it"

"yes, sometimes"

I am ashamed to admit he is right


who would have thought that as I have my early morning browse of some of the blogs in my favourites list I would be eating my breakfast with 3 msn windows open
in one I am discussing cunilingus
in the next anal sex
and the third is a man who wants to wank for me

my mornings dont always start like this.

at work there is a buffet lunch provided for the office staff (all 8 of us who are there) to say goodbye to a german lad who has been setting up a website for the company. Refreshments include bucks fizz. But I declare that im not touching the asti. everyone laughs and my boss says she will put a bucket by my desk. Even the director laughs ( I blame him for me getting drunk at my boss's birthday 2 weeks ago).

back home I am exchanging text from someone I had sent an email including one of my early fantasy stories. he is looking forward to more.

I was just thinking about you, trying to figure out what fantasy I can write for you next.

mmmm now that does have a nice ring to it :-) you'll have to let me have a sneaky peek if you do x

I have now written a short piece for you

nice one x

I will have to decide if I will let you read it

tease :-) x

always! and dont say you dont like to be teased ;-) x

would never say that lol x

am I good in your latest fantasy lo ;-) x

it wouldnt be a fantasy if you were no good lol x

lol fair one! would be bloody rude to let you down in the first place ;-) I look forward to having a read soon babe x

this week has been the first time I have not had to sleep when i got home from work/school run. But today it had caught up with me and I fell asleep on my bed. I was half asleep when I got the text I have waited a couple of weeks for. he has found his phone!! I dont know whether I am happy or not. we have chatted by text this evening but it was still like pulling teeth! part of the reason I was pissed off yesterday was that you keep calling him a fuckwit.......you are probably right but that doesnt mean I want to hear it! I want to believe you are wrong but I'm not sure. I have chatted but its all been general stuff and not a single kiss from me! I am cross with him and I'm cross with you for pointing out that he is no good for me when I so want him to be.

I have decided to write about my day when I get an unexpected text


hello who ever you are

who is this?

is that J**** ?

sorry some1 gave me wrong number

ok no worries

who is this anyway?

who r u?

I'm Ian

I'm LiR

as i said I got wrong number sorry

i'm in *****

oh ok who gave you my number?

i was after someone else and they made mistake in the number

where are you if you dont mind me asking?

Im just off the M**

are you single?


me 2

you dont mind me texting you do you ?

not at all

it must be strange me texting you out of the blue

stranger things happen

I'm not that strange

he has been texting me now for an hour and half lol I have just received 2 pictures of him (hes only 33 thinks hes ugly but hes not) have now sent him one of me, he thinks I look nice and Im not old!my battery is getting flat!

it has been a strange day maybe that has something to do with it being friday 13th not that I am supersticious

Friday, 13 July 2007



he tells me they are all fond of me
I should be pleased
they all like me
no one has a bad word to say
it is a compliment I know
so why does it feel
more like a slap in the face
he is fond of me
and so are all the others
do they talk about me
when I cannot hear
am i a topic of discussion
it is good they are fond of me
they tell me I am intelligent
they tell me I am sexy
they are all so fond of me
it makes me cry they are so fond of me
what am to them ?
am I their little sister?
am I their pet?
No I am none of these things
but that is how it makes me feel when
I hear how fond they are of me
I know they mean well as they say

Thursday, 12 July 2007


I had a long chat with Oxo last night

we are going to see more of each other

I don't know when or even if I shall see Forest again

So until one of us meets someone else we are going to see each other whenever we want to

we have devised a code where if one wants to we send text that in one word
tells the other what we want and when

It will mean that I am the one having to travel but at least its comfortable and peaceful at his place

he is very understanding about my current physical limitations but is not phased by it ;-)

Wednesday, 11 July 2007

It takes four

It takes four

I have come to the realisation that the man I desire in my life exists in the form of four men. these men are all different, they bring different things to my life. On their own none will live up to my needs but put them together I have the perfect man for me.

there is my comfort lover, he takes me in his embrace, kisses me oh so nicely, takes me to his bed and holds me throughout the night. He wants me often, he wants more than I can give but is happy to accept what I can. He wants to make me his, at least in the short term, perhaps longer. We are good together, he is sweet and he finds me perfect, my only fault being that I have children. he calls me up just to hear my voice, he tells me i have a very sexy voice. he gives me peace and comfort.

there is the one who stole my heart. first we were friends, then we met and my breath he took away. there is no man I have ever found sexier even in his shyness. to communicate frequently is not his thing which frustrates me no end. Our times together though brief and infrequent have an intensity none can beat. the more I learn of him the more in common I find we have. Both now and in the years of our childhoods. he gives me something I cannot put my finger on, all I know is that without him I am incomplete.

there is the one who gives me passion, he knows that there are times when I need to be fucked hard. we give each other much pleasure. He is bound to another, but to me and none other he willingly gives his passion. from that very first time we met it was inevitable that soon in my bed he would be. We no longer frequently get together but that is unimportant. Our passion for each other we can give from afar as we await that time when we can again be joined as one. among others he is the only wedded one I could not give up. he gives me exhileration

lastly there is the one who is my friend, we share a fondness for each other. we also share an interest in a side to me that I have yet to explore. the art of discipline spanking has taken a hold of my curiosity. this has been a subject of interest to him for many years. he has kindly agreed to initiate me into these pleasures. we talk often about this and other matters. he has taken over the role of confidante from the one who was before my heart he stole. he gives me laughter, excitement and encouragement.

I apologise now if you are one of the other men in my life but not one of the four. everyone of you has a place in my heart :-)

Sunday, 8 July 2007

I'm not in love


hi im going to B******


to play

what kind of play?

adult one on one

will you require correction afterwards?

probably, will you require a full confession?

oh yes

As I am driving east towards my destination one of my all time favourite songs plays on my radio. 10CC I'm not in love.
how appropriate.I like Oxo and I know he has a soft spot for me too. the last time we talked on the phone,he was trying to persuade me to go to him, he told me that he wants to see me regularly and perhaps it might lead to a relationship.He is a nice man and we get on well but for me there are no fireworks. when we are apart there is no yearning, no longing to be with him. I am not in love with him.

I am now driving along unfamiliar roads with no street lighting late at night I have to concentrate, I have memorised his directions, this seaside town being in a different county is not in my map book and I have not been here for years, never at night.

Finally midnight I reach his road and begin my search for his home, squinting at the numbers as I slowly make my way along this winding road with so many turnings. Bleep text (I know it will be from him wondering where I have got to). Another corner and I see his camper van parked in the road and there he is waiting for me. I park up and check the message (yes it was him....are you lost?)

he leads me inside,folds me into his embrace as we stand in his livingroom. Its been more than two months since last we were together. he fetches me a beer as I sink onto one of his cream leather sofas. mmmm very comfortable. He has been watching a film on tv, this continues in the back ground as we catch up on some heavy snogging (kissing for those of you from the otherside of the pond). It isn't long before he begins to unbutton my blouse to get to my breasts. We have been together twice before but this is the first time he has seen my breasts in all their glory.
Both previous times we had been in the dark in his camper van. Now he finally has his wish to have me in the comfort of his home. we take a break from kissing to chat while we drink our beer. as we talk I swing my right leg over his lap, this is nice, what more could I want, a beer, a chat, a cosy sofa and a nice man fondling my breasts while he kisses me. The film ends but we let the tv play on as background noise. By now I have his shirt unbuttoned and we have skin on skin.

Oxo leads me to the bedroom where the remainder of our clothes are lost as we slip under the warm duvet which is soon on the floor at the foot of the bed. first one then the other of my nipples is devoured by my lover as he makes full use of his teeth on these sensitive areas of my body. the pain starts to burn through me as the pressure increases. I dont know what to do with myself as my hands run across his back and shoulders before grabbing his head. I cannot reach his hard cock with my hands but feel its hardness as I rub it with my leg, the only part of me
that can make contact at this time. I am moaning and writhing as he kneads my nipple between his lips while he has one hand under my ass cheeks rubbing and the other hand exploring between my cunt lips. already I have made a wet patch on his bed. He brings me to a moaning orgasm, I pull his head away from my screaming nipple. kissing resumes then I take it into my head to pay him back for my screaming nipple and slide a little way down the bed taking his
nipple in my mouth sucking and licking then biting as the fingers of my right hand wonder aimlessly across his warm skin. his eyes are closed as he smiles with pleasure but this increases as i make my way down his torso licking and kissing until I reach the head of his cock. mmmm now this is something I have missed in recent weeks. the taste, scent and feel of a hard cock as my tongue glides around and over this lovely tool of pleasure. As I take pleasure in teasing and sucking on this well formed shaft his hands are playing with my cunt. I pull myself up onto my knees facing towards his feet as I continue playing and his fingers delve into my wet pussy, I feel the drips landing on my calves and feet as we both indulge in this pleasure. I feel by body become rigid and rise up ver his cock as I feel the spasms inside me building to a crest I cannot control, my body quivering, the drips on my legs increasing, his cock resting between my breasts until my body relaxes again and I can sink back down and draw him back between
my hungry lips.

we both relax against the pillows as we kiss some more arms around each other, this is so nice to be wrapped in the arms of a nice man on a comfortable bed knowing that we have all night I wont be rushing home in the early hours. He doesn't realise how lucky he is as I reach down and play, it is not often that I will wank a man having built up an aversion to this during my marriage. Maybe this is another barrier I am breaking down as the memories of bad sex
finally dim as new more exciting memories are forged into my mind. He is close to coming now and I have a choice, he can come in my mouth, we discuss me giving him a snowball he has never had one, or he can come in my ass. we opt for trying the second. this will be a first for us. he uses almond oil to lubricate both my ass and his cock. I am kneeling with my face buried in the pillows but the pain is too much and I pull him out of me. as I collapse onto the bed he massages my ass then inserts first one then 2 fingers mmmm this is much nicer, I ask him how many fingers he has in my ass then he says he will try his big finger and I feel his cock nudging then slowly sliding inside me, the initial burning pain last a second no more then the pleasure kicks in and I know i wont be long without an orgasm. we both cum in close succession before he nuzzles my neck and face, we kiss as he withdraws. mmmmm time to fall asleep in a close embrace. I am sure I had a smile as wide as my face.

6am I awake he is still sleeping beside me, I do love to wake up beside a warm body and know that I have only to touch him and we can start again. with these pleasant thoughts i fall asleep again. waking a little after 8am I decide to take myself home and attempt to get there before the kids wake up (didnt manage that). he stirs beside me and I kiss his face, he stirs some more, I tell him I am going home, we kiss, I worry about early morning breath but this doesnt seem to bother him. I dress (will shower at home) he pulls on his robe and sees me out stopping
several times to kiss some more. the sun is bright as I leave for my drive back home. mmmm what a lovely way to start a sunday ;-)

this Sir is my confession....please be lenient if am to be punished....spare the cane pretty please pleaseeeeee

Saturday, 7 July 2007

what a difference the sun makes

I woke up feeling fine today
Dropped off #4 son at his school where he was due to be working on a stall at his school fair. I can’t believe that in 2 weeks time he will be leaving the junior school. I have been taking my children to that infants/junior school for 14 years. Soon I will have no reason to return there. I asked the head teacher if she has a direct line to the weather. It has rained for 2 months but they managed to have sports day with no rain then today the summer fair was held in lovely sunshine.

I drove to my mum’s and parked my car there while I walked into town to go to the bank. It is not far to walk but it is the first time I have done so in two months. I have not felt that I had enough energy. The anti biotics I have been on seem to have done the trick. I am no longer in pain and feel much more myself other than the sudden sleepiness which comes over me. (each day when I get home from work I have to sleep for a couple of hours). Whilst I felt weary from my walk I felt good, it was nice to be out in the sunshine doing things I would not normally have given a second thought to. On my return I stopped with mother for a cup of tea and chat. She was feeling happier today seeing the sun, she has felt depressed with all the rain and not being able to get out much. Suddenly today she feels she is making progress with her knee (she was walking without crutches or a stick).

I then went shopping for groceries, it was amazing that roads which are always busy were not today neither was the supermarket. I don’t think I have seen the car park so empty on a Saturday. I came home with the intention of phoning orange to sort out the wireless internet, but as the boys are watching a movie on the tv it is not quiet enough so will leave it until tomorrow when they are out.

The sun has been shining all day and I feel alive and able to do things I couldn’t even contemplate for the last couple of months. Apparently summer is going to last for another 24 hours so I had best make the most of it and get stuff done while I still can, before the rain returns.

the rest of my lfe

today I was reading bits of the diary I began last October

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Yesterday we went to court and SF pleaded guilty to harrassment and has agreed to a restraining order to stay away indefinitely. Now I hope we can both move on in or lives.

well I didn't do any of the things I was going to do, instead I had a long candle lit soak in the bath. Spent 1.5hrs exchanging text with SS while he was waiting for his ferry. I can't wait to see him although I did tease him when he said he is looking forward to tomorrow night. I asked him what he was doing tomorrow night. He has asked me to book a room at the same hotel again.

All through lunch with mum and grandad SS was sending me hot text about what he wants me to wear and what he wants to do. finally I got to the hotel we had a few drinks in the lounge where the news was showing on the TV. He said that was where he had just returned from. I am so glad that I hadn't known before as I would have been worried sick in case anything happened to him.

I feel like its one step forward and two back all the time but thinking about it, its probably more like one step foward and half a step back so I am making progress.

I dreampt that I had a mega row with #1 son over him not doing anything even washing up. Had my hair cut, decided I needed a treat it hasn't been cut since May and it needs to be tidy if I am going to be having interviews.

Met PL in town for coffee, we chatted for 2 hours, he was so easy and fun to chat with. Afterwards he gave me a lift back to my mum's & we kissed in his car. While I was chatting to mum I got a text from PL. 'wow what a sexy lady had to restrain myself in car can't wait to see you again'. During the evening we exchanged more text. I am feeling good now.

rang Orange, must have been on phone for an hour but it is worth it to get both pc's working wirelessly.

I dont really know why I have posted this stuff

Friday, 6 July 2007

my friends

here is a sample of text I received today from various male friends

hi how are you doing ? xx

you are right its not often I get flashed by a young lady you ok ?

I was feeling horny earlier so thought of you x

Great. Only I would get txt saying 'I dont want a shag' in the early hours

the thought of you in your mini skirt and stockings and bound with pvc tape with me wanking over you

have to stop thinking about you now as im on way to stay with gf tonight

I think fuckwits are like the poor - always with us.

Thursday, 5 July 2007


I have decided that although from time to time there will be sexy posts on here it will mostly be the more mundane stuff with the sexier posts being on kindred perverts.that is not to say there wont be any sexy stuff it depends how sexy my life is at the time.


I have now been in this job for 3 weeks almost.
The work is not mind stretching and the pay is not brilliant.
So why am I doing this work
It gets me out of the house
I was beginning to vegetate
I was not living my own life but those of my online friends
Now I am with other people (adults) for 5 hours each day.
It is only a small office I work with 2 men (one the image of Waynecoff)
We have a boss whose party I went to on Saturday
There is one lady who was in the warehouse who now sits near me
There are four others in another section and their boss my friend (posh bird)
The only others in the office area are the MD and an other director (both friendly)
Part of my job involves taking orders down to the warehouse
So I get to see the warehouse workers and speak to the warehouse manager.
There are also various reps who visit the office.
Whilst this is not a huge amount of people it is far more than there are in my home
It was my friend Posh bird who persuaded me to take this job
It is only until September (covering maternity leave)
But at least it is something I can put on my CV
I am learning a lot about how a sales office works
I find this far more fascinating than the work I am doing
It feels good to get up each morning with a proper routine and a reason to get made up and dress smartly.
It also stops me from moping and getting depressed
My work may not be mind stretching but I do have to concentrate.
This job has been good for me

Wednesday, 4 July 2007


I am unhappy, I am sad, I feel empty, I am miserable
There, I said it, I admit that I feel miserable
Today I sent an email, one that I really didn’t want to write let alone send.
As much as I really like him both as a friend and a lover
It just wasn’t working
I would have liked to have seen him much more often
But I could cope with the infrequency of our being together.
The reason I have given up is the spasmodic communication.
This is all I am going to say about this

Today I have thought about other men in my life
Last night I had a chat via msn with JJ about our plans for a spanking session
This spanking session is with the expectations of him being highly sexually aroused while I have to remain un aroused with much temptation being placed in my way to persuade me to be bad which in turn would lead to further punishment. This chat was continued via phone as I later lay in my bed playing, as he listened to my moans he was describing what he will do to me and how my wrists will be bound and my eyes blind folded to heighten my experience.

There is another man in my life who is planning to spank me. We are friends and I trust him. This is not intended to be a sexual event. This will be a very different experience for me. There is no talk of arousal, more of implements and rituals.

Today I text a married lover. When I decided to stop playing the field I told all my lovers that I would not see them anymore, all that is except this one. I just couldn’t bare to give up this one lover. The one I have referred to as my Passionate lover. He is married as I say and when I first met him he was playing around with other women. Months ago he told me that he just didn’t have the time to play around anymore but he would always make time for me. As it happens we have not been able to find the time to see each other since February. He comes here to me as I refuse to go to his home although that would have been easier. It has been difficult as there always seemed to be one of the kids home or I had to go out. Then I was ill, soon after this #2 son finished school, now I am working in the daytime. He works nights. I have not been in touch with him for a couple of months. But today I felt a need to connect with him. He says he had wondered where I had disappeared to. It was good to exchange text for a while. He still wants to see me and is pleased that I still want to see him. I can’t see this happening before September which is torture but at least I know we both still want it.

I have also had various chats recently with my ex b/f on msn. Each time I end up wondering why I bother. Without fail he makes me want to hit him. He can be so childish, irritating and damn right rude. He always ends up being insulting to me. Yes I know I should block him. One of the things he often asks is if I have any new pictures. This man thinks nothing of insulting me but wants pictures of my body. He never believes me that I have no new photos. In fact there are only two new pictures of me and only one person other than me has seen them and that’s the man who took them on his phone then later sent them to me. (unless he has shown them to anyone which I doubt).

Monday, 2 July 2007

black or red

yeah had a loveley evening and even wanked on cam for first time ever lol

wow not to me you didnt

no alas, sorry ,, mind u looking at those stocking clad legs i could lol

te he he

love the outfit

perhaps u could wear it when i spank uuuuu

or the blue one

perhaps the black or red

black or red works

black i think

the red one is more flared

well which ever one is gonna have to be pulled up when i spank uuu

so you would like me to wear black mini skirt for you

yes please

and stockings ?

yes please

have you thought any more about when and where

well this week is quite a good week for me

could have been here this evening!!!!! shame

you only had to say

could have done with it tonight

so could i lol........ shame i missed u earlier ,,, would hav jumped at the chance

but not jumped me ?

would u like me to have?????

i was asking the question

would you have wanted to ?

yes i would like to jump uuuuuuu

now I am getting wet

im getting hard for u

if only it was still early

mmmm i wish

i could have demanded that you spank me

I could cum to you now if I didnt need to get to bed

Sunday, 1 July 2007


The party was good.

It was my new boss's 50th and she kindly invited me along even though I have only worked there for 2 weeks. I was going with my friend (posh bird) she has been my friend and neighbour for 10 years. She begged me to take this job. she is the accounts manager. I persuaded my son to drive us there and collect us afterwards.

I don't drink often but decided to stick to white wine all evening. I chatted to some of the people from work who I don't get to chat to much. lost count of how many glasses of wine were bought for me I was enjoying myself. until about 11.30 when I went to the ladies and threw up.

I collected my coat and bag took myelf outside to sit on a bench in the rain. phoned son to come get us. felt sick again so went to stand on the grass got my foot stuck in a huge puddle lost my shoe Posh bird was laughing her head off watching me. By the time #1 had arrived I was walking and carrying shoes. I think its the first time hes seen me drunk.

when we got home I had a shock. Ran to bathroom still barefoot only to discover the floor was flooded and toilet blocked!!! So I had to deal with that while still feeling sick.

woke up this morning feeling fine just a slight headache