Triangles of what?

I have been trying to work out in my own mind what I am doing. This monring I read this post by my friend Z. She has explained so well what it was like when I was seeing my various lovers, many of them married or with girl friends.
Each lover was different, each gave me different things none was either more special or less so than the others. I didn't ask about their wife/partner but if they wanted to tell me I listened. What we had was in the moment. I gave them my full attention and they gave me theirs whilst we were together. they all knew there were others and sometimes they liked to hear about them, they found it a turn on to hear about my other encounters. Some liked to give me advice about how to handle various situations with one or other of my men.

Now I don't see any of them (my choice) although I have not told one of them that we are over. The situation where we are both available has not arisen so it isn't an issue, I have only made sporadic contact with him, we both have busy lives and I am sure he has found others to fill the spaces I have left, even though I have no doubts that he would make space for me again. We both know we were good together.

I have moved on from that time when I craved sexual atention more than a one to one relationship. I am going through a self induced drought. I gave up my encounters with Oxo last autumn (he has now finally given up asking me to visit him). So apart from one weekend with Harvey last November and ne afternoon when I was juped by Coach back in January I have been celibate since early September.

Since last November/December Lotto has been trying to persuade me that he really really wants me. From when we first got in contact early last year, meeting for a drink in March of that year until December 2007 I was under the impression that he was single. He had always maintained that he fancied me and wanted to do naughty things with me, but he didn't want a relationship. As I was at that time coming around to wanting a relationship I kept him on the back burner simm ering away but never coming to the boil as it were. During the last 6 months though he has been turning up the heat. we both know now that he has a g/f who apparently isn't interested in sex. I don't quite know where she fits in the picture as I know he lives alone, he doesn't seem to be with her in the evenings or weekends apart from a few weeks ago when he was texting me while she was upstairs. I have a man in my heart who I don't want to betray.

My current dilema is having two men who both turn me on, one is available but doesn't want a relationship the other does want a relationship but is never in the country. So all the time that Lotto is on the scene there is always the promise of the opportunity to end this drought with a very sexy man who keeps telling me how much he wants me. But however much he wants me I know he would just be using me to get the sexual gratification he doesn't get in his relationship.
If I was to give in to his pleas to satisfy my own sexual appetite I would be using him because even when he is turning me on with his pleas, he is not the one I trully want to be with.

Romeo on the other hand does want me as the complete woman which of course includes the sexual being that he adores. He wants the long term relationship, but isn't here, he knows there are other men in my life but he trusts me completely just as I trust him.

If I give in to the lust that Lotto brings out in me .........'god I feel so fucking horny I want to fuck you now baby' ...... just one of the text I sent him last night during our 3 hour lust up. I would be using him which I don't want to do. I would be betraying Romeo which I really don't want to do. Lotto says that isnt so as I have not yet met Romeo. Maybe we have not met but I still feel committed to him.

I could easily meet up with Lotto for a night of passion (he has just begun to chat on IM and has instantly got me aroused) and Romeo need never know, easy. But I would know. I have been thinking about this business of using. I really should stop chatting to Lotto if I don't want to have sex with him, all the time I am chatting but not going through with meeting him I am leading him on. But I can't give him up, he gives me the constant reminder that someone who has met me still finds me desirable. I don't like the idea that I am using him, but would that be so bad, he is after all just using me to get the sexual gratification he isn't getting from anywhere else. But he could get it elsewhere, he has offers from other women but it is me he wants. I tell myself to give him up, he isn't Romeo the man I really want. He doesn't really want me just sex with me. I should give him up I deserve better than one night of sex with a man who doesn't really want me. A man who gets me aroused but isn't the man I want. These two men have me all of a dither yet I have never had sex with either of them. It was so much easier when I was a lover of several, not the one and only for any.

Update

Because I have told Lotto that words excite me more than pictures he is busy right now writing me a story......apparently he is already getting himself aroused as he is writing it.

stolen from Ronjazz

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Very Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Low
Lust:	High
Pride:	Very Low

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

my knight and me

I have been posting the email exchange between me and my knight over on kindred perverts. so far we are in december having met twice and planning a third meeting. He originally contacted me as a couple with Foxy (SL). He wanted to meet us both and said that there was a possibility he could bring along another woman for a 4 some. I began to chat with him and we very quickly began our erotic email exchange taking on the persona of a Knight in tarnished armour and his subservient Lady slut. We began our joint fantasy which neither of us could have predicted. We have both enjoyed dreaming up this fantasy and trying to bring this to reality.

Due to his personal circumstances we stopped communicating (he needed to put his energy into his situation). At Easter I sent him a brief greeting. From then on we have been in contact with our emails as prolific as before but with the added twist of including others in our fantasy. But its more than that. I feel we have moved to another level. before when we were exchanging our emails we rarely had other communication and when we did it was brief. we have only ever communicated online other than on the actual day we are meeting, then he would text and phone me. I have never tried to contact him by phone at any other time. I dont wish to cause any unnescessary problems for him. we have got into a routine of me leaving him an email late at night before I go to bed. He is always up by about 5am so he replies first thing. I get a text when his email hits my inbox.....this is usually at about 7.30am. It always puts smile on my face when I see from my mobile that I have received am email from him. Over the past week we have been chatting on msn for hours at a time. we are also exchanging emails that are not part of the knight and lady scenario. These are emails that are very personal and direct. we are expressing our feelings and desires for each other as real people. we are planning to see each other on a weekly basis with him coming to see me at my home. nothing to do with the knight and lady, just two people who are very much in lust with each other. We can be very vulgar when we chat we can say anything to each other, but when we meet we both get very nervous and shy, but the minute we meet it just feels so right.

I adore him :-)

gifts

***** my Lady
I have been unable to devote my time to commit my thoughts to you my Lady love and for that I can only apologise for your waiting.
You are my perfect slut, my woman of loose morals, my Queen of all that is deliciously indulgent, beautifully sensual and blissfully vulgar. Will you stop at nothing to honour your knight and champion of her womanhood? I pray that you will not for I would adore you the more for it my Lady.
The gifts you bestow upon me are perfection and I look upon your face with such delight, your warm friendly eyes with there naughty twinkle, proud, confident in your sexuality. Your soft warming smile that bids me kiss your inviting lips with such passion that I might make your breast heave with intense desire for me.
Such a pleasing face, such a perfect bosom. Would that I could hold them in my hands and suckle from their firm peaks the life giving nectar you so wondrously gave your children. You are pure woman to me, you are life itself and I wish to be on you and in your and about you oh so intimately it begins to hurt the distance we keep from one another.
I look upon that face and I will you to kiss my manhood as it stands here waiting and wanting for you. To look into your eyes as you salaciously slide my soft firmness past those perfect lips into your . Oh how I would wish to kiss those lips at that very moment. Take me my Queen, make me your very own Knight as you milk from my weapon my lusting devotion to you so that I may kiss you and taste upon your lips my spent lust for you.
Take me, feed on me, kiss me that we both might swallow the pride I have in your wayward sexuality and make you mine to command further........................
Until then my Lady Sir ***** :-x



Sir ******
How could your Lady slut ignore such pleas so well written and the desires already aroused described so wonderously. I now give over to you these two glimpses that you may know what there is to come.
be rest assured that there are more images that may or may not come into your possession in the near future.
your own Lady ***** Slut


***** my bounteous Maiden I feast upon your other gift to me and fear that what intensity your countenance provoked in me at such acceptable imagery before, this latest one instills me to such vulgarity that I know is in me and committing me into a place beyond redemption. I fear my Lady teases me to the brink of acceptability and am challenged my Lady, to take you by force, first making you incapable of resistance by way of ties upon your ankles and your wrist, enabling me to feast my eyes upon you at will as I slowly discover parts of you that should be kept to your own self. Thus with ties tightened to extremes of distance, you would find yourself at my mercy and indignantly exposed to view that part of you that would prove you woman against my man as well as that physicality we both share having stripped you of the modest vestige of your apparel. At such a sight my mouth would water and hunger would set in for the taste of you and would put up no fight to prevent me from compromising you in any way shape or form, to which end you will know me on you vaginally and anally as my tongue and lips forage about your intimate person kissing and licking and at that moment when sucking you feel me gorge on your lips as I fill my mouth with you sliding my tongue deeply into your womanly folds as well as you adjacent tightness. The feast would be long and hard as my hunger is so great since meeting you first and when satiated by the depths of you, I shall gently lick and suck of your soft delicate flower that I may know for certain you to be less than pure an unadulterated slut to expend upon my face such violent gushing and thrashing of self evident pleasure. It would not stop at that for with all the wetness and glistening about your intimate person I would be drawn by the shiny puckered tightness of you and wish to do to you the most joyous vulgarity and in so indulging in your predicament would press upon your defense until knowing my helpless Lady is indeed a true slut to me her master by way of letting me into her for such a devine unnatural act. I would that you should look into my eyes and witness the pleasure of letting you see how debase I am to want you thus. Watching as we both enjoy in one another's debasing act of intimacy as I bury my sword gently to the hilt my Lady, to press your ample thighs tight against me for a while as I relish in the moment ......... then with controlled movement take me to a place where my expression tells you you have served your master well (and perhaps he has served you well too?) as you watch him expend deep inside you his warm wet sticky lubricating lust for you in each and every deep felt intense ejaculation and if in total communion with one another you should also join your master in this moment of high ecstasy he would be well pleased to see you in such a state with him. My Lady, in your arms I'd fall to care and comfort to caress and fondle to express an intense gratitude for such devoted servitude that would no doubt lead to a love making of such passion as to render us coitally inseparable. Until that moment your Knight awaits your body with aching desire :-x

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes and..........yesssssssssssssssssss

as soon as I read how you would take me my lord my maidenhead was instantly soaking with lust. Until I can compose myself to reply to your lust with equal enthusiasm as is so very much deserved I shall I am afraid have no choicce but to keep my lord waiting for my remarks on the satiating of our giving from one to the other. I could not possibly do justice to your words at this time. my cranium is in such a state of arousal that coherent thoughts are missing. Unless I manage to sort my thoughts into some kind of order before you remove yourself for the festive season it is with dismay that I inform your goodself that my lord must await my words upon his return. :-X :-X :-X

*****, my lady love It pleases me no end to know that the debased nature of my mind has thrown yours into confusion and placed you in such a state of arousal as to render you demented and void of natural cohesive thought. You are a truly magnificent liberated sexual woman and to find you so wetted by my vulgarity arouses me so enormously that I fear I shall burst involuntarily my lust for you and thus sadly wasting the evidence that I so desire to plant deep inside you, filling you up to the brim with my joy of you that you can contain a drop more allowing it to cascade from you decorating your heavenly thighs giving me the filthy joy of wallowing in the wetness we both create, sliding slippery indulgent over one another''s flesh in an orgy of blissful filth. My Lady love, you take me to a place all decency tells me we should not go and I adore my Queen for it and await a time when you are composed sufficiently to reciprocate my filthy vulgar adoring desire in words of utter arousal. My sadness is that I may not know it until my return, but my mind will be busy with thoughts of you penning your desires to me and of the exquisite pleasure felt between your thighs in the exercising of that deed. I should not wish to bid you fare thee well just yet as I may have a moment or two to dwell on the drip of you that it may fall before I leave you. The admiration of your Knight is boundless at your response to his abuse of you and I pray it will be short lived the space twixed now and when I take of you in the flesh rather than words.

Your liege, Sir ***** who you desire to obey :-x

Yes my lord (she muttered meekly)

Restraint

Sir ***** It was with great restraint that I managed to stop myself from dragging you through my window. I was feeling so turned on by your presence in my day. Following you along so many dead ended lanes and tracks did nothing to dull my desire only to increase my amusement. I am sure that as you stood beside my door my expression must have given away the pure desire I felt. My naked lust for you, my wish to be held, touched and kissed by my handsome knight. but as you said this was not the occasion for the gratification of our bodily desires but for the implementation of my chastisement. further this was not an ideal location and time was against us. my question now is to ask whether indeed you were able to read from my countenance the mixture of amusement and desire. Lady *****


My Lady Indeed I was bale to witness your pleasing face with smiling eyes and lips. I could even see you almost laugh perhaps in my rear view mirror which lessened the trauma of not being able to give you what you so rightly deserved. I should have liked to have opened the door and lain you down, removed the vestiges of decency from your maidenhood and placed my mouth over its lips and devoured you wholly, listening to the bliss of your voice as you uttered the sounds of utter joy. I would have wished to see that joy quirt from you in complete abandon covering you ample thighs to glistening effect, kissed your lips and left you there in a state of dishevelment for all to see. Your knight..........


My dear sir Pray tell how it could be that I could possibly not want to continue with our most compelling mind fuck. I have enjoyed much pleasure from our mutual correspondence and fantasies. I have it in my mind most definitely to carry these fantasies through to reality and completion provided that is that my companion in this journey still feels the yearning to follow through as do I. There have been a number of offers from other parties to fulfil these fantasies but. In my mind these fantasies are borne out of our own delicious mind fuck not to be shared with others, other than in the recounting for their amusement. your own slut Lady *****


My Lady

I am pleased to know your intent is to enact some, if not all, of our fantasies thus written to one another. Mind fucking you has been a glorious event and thrills me to know you feel your mind has been well fucked by these words. I only hope we can express such passion bodily with one another and indulge in our lust freely and unreservedly. It would please me no end to taste you and be inside you and to feel you and see you elated by such communion. My manhood is yours to do with as you will as I hope your womanhood is mine to do with as I will, but first the responsibility falls upon me to correct your errant ways previously encountered by way of your offered up backside to my hand after which we will ride into the oblivion desire. Your ever faithful knight Sir ***** :-x



Dear sir *****,

It is with not a little dismay, that it is realised the sparcity of correspondence in coming weeks, however this gives both time to imagine what might be and in what way we can enhance those activities promised. I have already begun the research required to ascertain a more suitable location for my chastisement.

I would like to bestow one small gift from myself to my lord. Upon my return from our travels along lanes of a wet and muddy nature on monday last. I decided to take a few images of the digital kind to show my lord what he had missed. My camera being old and battered my computer was unable to read the information from the equipment used. However last night a friend allowed me to use his card reader on his laptop to capture these images which he later tried to upload to me. Only one worked.......the others requiring to be resized (to large). I have now attached a copy of the successful image for your perusal. It is with great amusement that I offer this for your pleasure.

I look forward to hearing from my lord when time allows

Your own slut lady *****


*****, my dearest slut It was my intension for the day to concentrate on matters of commerce, but how, with such joyous distraction, is a knight supposed to ignore his Lady when distracted with such industry? Whilst you deliver your digital gift to me with much amusement, I am very happy to inform my Lady that the distraction is, although a little annoying, received in similar vein and with immense gratitude. Thank my Lady. :-x I have to tell you my Queen of my desire, it has caused much consternation, as each time my eyes rest upon it's various elements it has the effect of arousing me so completely that I stand here, although sitting, proud at the sight of my manhood in complete readiness for deeds deep and sublimely penetrative and wondrously explosive. The composition is such that those elements that contrive to inform sit well on the eye in the form of loosely fitted embroidered virginal white femininity, whilst the slash of vibrant pink does much to excite the senses, alluding to a certain thin pinkness set deep into the shadows of heavy denier. The denier itself does much to excite in it's constrained tight sheerness encapsulating from toe to thigh angular knee stretching to disappear from tantalising view. The ivory softness atop the dense black of denier fills the heart with promise igniting your knights desire to share with you his masculinity, the result of your feminine promiscuous gift. Had your hand rested upon your knee with red painted nails, this would have imbued an erotic activity either shared or self indulged, each being compellingly arousing even though purely imagined. The digital image fills me with continued desire for you my Lady love. Had I taken this shot myself it would not have been as strongly erotic an image. If you are ever able to take of yourself imagery of a similar or perhaps more intimate nature this would be powerfully pleasing to your knight knowing you to desire obedience to his will in the self capture of certain elements of your femininity. I remain ever desirous of your flesh my Lady ***** and thank you once again for the precious gift :-x

My Lord It is with much pleasure that your lady learns of the desire within her Lord following the gift of image captured especially for the pleasure of her Lord. It is indeed just one in a series of about 10 images. once these are received on my computer system I shall select one or two that I shall allow your lordship to receive as an interim gift before your return in that they will give an insight into what will be awaiting your return. lady *****

My Lady I await bated, breathless and to be teased your knighted Sir :-x


My Lady ***** You do tease so mercilessly, for I know that within the virginal white of your blouse a mere button or four from view there rests, heaving if animated beyond this stilled image, your beautiful bountiful breast that would so wish to lay my head upon if I were in your presence. If you were to honour me with a glimpse of your cleavage I should be undone by desire to slide my manhood from below that which encapsulates the magnificence of your motherhood and press into the depth created by such magnificent pendulous orbs that I may feel the smooth softness of you envelope my firm manliness. Upon receiving me thus I should expect in your desire to serve your master to succumb to my lust to use you so and in so doing gain much delight in the joy you allow me selfishly to seek in the depth of cleavage I can only hazard a guess at. You will witness my knights helmet appear and disappear in its battle to win the ultimate in releases and so doing will feel and see a flooding of my joy in you welling up and overflowing down the crease that divides both appendages the apex of each I should wish to suckle in gratitude.................. All this from something merely hinted at and far less than is actually to view, but I see your elegant sensual fingers and that glorious red painted upon perfectly shaped nails. You might not understand the power pretty fingers have over a man who appreciates sensuality. I should place them each at a time into my mouth finishing with a thumb sucking on them sensuously knowing the beauty of their vulgar redness is inside me feeling my tongue explore them................. But, my Lady love, your soft creamy thigh has me once more in manly salutation of the sluttish exposure of such ample delight. I desire you most heartily and wish beyond anything to see more of this wondrous expanse, for it is the essence of a Lady who has fallen to expose herself thus and in so doing arouse in her Knight a complete and utter desire for her loose and fallen morals Would that I could kiss and caress with my mouth and tongue the amplitude of your being until such a point as I might discover the soft succulence of what you hold dutifully for my pleasure between your soft inviting thighs that I may suck you into me and be within you too with my tongue until I feel the joy within you take your control and have you thrash for mercy at wave upon wave of intensity you know not if it be pleasure or pain and in completeness of pleasure emit from within first a squirt to fill my mouth thence a stream of warm flowing water of love.................. My Lady love, ***** how you do drive this Knight so Sir ***** :-x PS. If I never see another image of you before the coming year it will drive me to distraction and I'll know not wether to thank you for your cruelty or hate you or give more praise to the thrill of continued exposure. My thanks are deep felt for the fingers my love and would wish to repay the compliment although less than sensual which I fear I must correct for my Queen's pleasure ................