will it be raining

It is 6.15pm and I'm sat in the traffic having just dropped the boys off at cricket training. I'm watching the rain gusting in the the glow from the street lights. I wonder if it will be raining in the morning? I begin to fidget in my seat, the more I think about it the more I fidget with excitement. I have never done anything like this before he says he hasn't either. A week to ten days ago if anyone said I would be doing this I would have said no way......thats not my thing. We are meeting at the same place as the other day then hes taking me off to the place we have chosen for my punishment. We are both very excited. I am bringing the silk scarf to bind my hands and my camera as he can't get at his without arousing suspicion. I didn't tell him that the place we have chosen is popular with dog walkers but maybe the rain will keep them away. I'm not sure if I want us to be found or not but the very idea adds to the excitement. I can hardly contain myself. Will I be able to keep quiet throughout my ordeal, I wonder if I shall be able to stop myself from giggling. He doesnt know that I giggle when I am nervous but then again I giggle a lot anyway. If I giggle I am sure that will mean I shall have to be punished again. Oh sweet pleasure I cannot wait.....yet I must, I have another 16 hours until our appointed meeting time. I have given much thought to my attire for my master's pleasure I think it will have to be short skirt stockings and high heeled ankle boots teamed with a white lacy brassiere topped by a loose white low cut sleeveless blouse. I remember that white becomes transparent when wet, this only adds to my pleasure at the thought of his reaction. Oh I do hope it will still be raining, does that make me a machochist I wonder?

living after Cancer

It began over easter, I noticed that I was leaking not just when I sneezed but at other times, even as I slept I would awaken to discover that I had leaked from my bladder. It was only a slight trickle but enough to be annoying. I thought it must be down to my age (38) and my weight which had crept up since the birth of my fourth child, I began to wear sanitary towels. Afterall we have all seen the ads for such protection against leakage as we get older. After months of this and the problem increasing I finaly told my mother about this embarrassing problem. She convinced me to see my Dr as it could be a prolapse of my womb. Eventually I got to see my GP about my bladder problem, she wrote to the hospital and I was sent an appointment for December with the urology dept. By the time of my appointment I was experiencing pain. I was examined by the urologist who suggested that I should see the gynacology dept. Within a week I had been to see them. I was given a date to go into hospital for day surgery for an explorotary operation. When I came around after this operation I was informed that I had a tumour. 3 weeks later I was given the news that my tumour (size of an orange)was malignant.I had cervical cancer. I could have had a hysterectomy except that my tumour was too large to be operated on. I was scheduled to have chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I was lucky the decision was made to give me extra radiotherapy and avoid the chemo. I was away from work for 9 months in total during my treatment and recovery time. I was given the all clear in September 2001. next month I have my final consultation before I can be signed off.
I have now been clear of cancer for a little over 5 years yet my illness has had various after effects all invisible to others. It would be lovely to think that once you have been given the all clear that is it you can forget about having cancer, it isn't that easy. There is the constant round of medical appointments although as time goes by these become less frequent. There were the appointments with my consultant at first every 3 months usually in the middle of the day meaning a day off work. The menopause clinic as I had now had a non surgical hysterectomy, I need hormone replacement therapy to prevent the development of cancer of the womb. (I now have a non working womb). One effect of my treatment that I have found the hardest to deal with is my change in diet. When the radiotherapy began I was given instructions about what I could not eat during my treatment. Anything with fibre in it, fruit, vegetables, wholemeal bread and many more. I was encouraged to eat a diet that would normally be considered unhealthy. This would be fine for a few weeks, I was eating very little anyway. But this continued after the treatment had ended. My treatment had been so close to my bowel that it had been affected. I had to be extremely careful about the amount of fibre in my diet as it just went through me. This meant that I had to continue with my 'unhealthy diet' this coupled with the lack of energy resulting from my treatment my weight ballooned by 4stone in the next 6 months. this meant more appointments (dietician). I can now at last say that the continuous round of appointments has virtually come to an end, although I am still on the hormone treatment. I nolonger see the dietician she has given me all the help she could. I am now able to at last eat a fairly normal diet although fruit still gives me problems I cant eat too much. My weight has gone back down although I would still like to lose a little more. But I am now discovering another effect that my cancer has had on my body.
Whilst I was undergoing my treatment and for some time after I was constantly being told that I should have very regular intercourse to prevent my cervix from closing up. I declined as the thought of intercourse with my husband was not something to relish. I was provided with a dilator to use instead. At every appointment after my treatment had finished I was asked about my libido had it increased. It hadn't until feb 2004 when my hormone treatment was changed. I now take progesterone, at first I thought I was dying the effects were so harsh and acute. I felt as though I had gone into labour. These settled down after a couple of weeks, thank heavens I had persevered !!! Suddenly I remembered that I am a woman, not just a mother and wife. My quest for fulfillment had begun. I set about divorcing my husband and now find that I am not only interested in sex but enjoy it enormously. However since the advent of my renewed sex life it has come to my notice (I have been told by several of my sexual partners) that my cervix has changed. Apparently I am not very deep (I dont know if this was always so) but Im told that on investigation with fingers I dont feel like other women. I have been assured that this is not unpleasant just different. I have come to the realisation that another effect not a bad one but unexpected is that I don't feel the cold as I used to do. I can be in a skimpy top and shorts or skirt while others are in jeans and coats. One draw back is that I sometimes get complaints that I have sweaty palms, this was never an issue before so I can only assume that my radiotherapy has caused these two changes.
I am however very happy to be alive and in the main quite well (headaches aside). Life was passing me by, but nolonger. I am in this life for the ride and want to enjoy as many experiences as I can.

my knight of tarnished armour

You may have read my recent posts of the lady and the knight. Here is my explanation of these posts.

First I received a very eloquent message from this man who shall be known as my knight of tarnished armour, extolling the virtues of knees like mine, he was writing to both myself and SL as a couple as he was interested in indulging his fancy for a mfm. We began chatting on msn and I explained that we were currently not looking to play with an extra man on his own however if he had another woman he could bring along we would consider them. As we chatted we found that we had much to chat about including our sexuality. During this conversation my knight asked if there was any possibility of meeting me on my own. I did not give any answer. Later when I was chatting to someone else I got to thinking about the way our conversation had gone and the style of language we had both used, I had greatly enjoyed our exchanges and found myself to be excited and aroused. I emailed my knight to give him my answer. A few emails were then exchanged between us over the next few days. I found the whole exchange very erotic and felt that I would like to share our correspondence with anyone who reads my blog. I asked my knight for his permission to do this providing that we and especially he cannot be identified. He was very flattered and agreed. The rest you can read for yourselves as it is all on these pages. We have both found writing these emails (there are other exchanges between us not included) such a great turn on as we planned to meet for the first time and now we plan our second liason. These exchanges have brought out a side to us neither of us knew we had. I have been in a constant state of arousal 24/7 since quite early in the week. I now find that this man and our correspondence are in my thoughts costantly. I had been worrying as the time of our first encounter drew nearer, that one or both of us would be disappointed and maybe the chemistry which we had both been feeling would not be there. I need not have worried, from the moment we met the chemistry was most definitely there. Unfortunately however our first liason did not go as planned. During the previous few hours I had become very poorly, I believed that I was suffering a migraine, it now seems it was a very nasty acute headache and sickness bug. I did consider cancelling the lunch date but instead said I would be a little late and did everything I could to make myself feel well enough to meet with my knight if even for just a few moments. I had invested so much of myself in our exchanges, I was turned on so much by the words of this man that I just could not miss meeting him. I am sooo glad I did, he is a lovely kind generous and extremly sexy man. He was very understanding of my situation, as you will see we both wished to devour each other there and then but were on our best behaviour. I managed to remain in his company for nearly an hour before having to take my leave and rush home to my bed. I cannot think about this man or the words we exchange without becoming wet with excitement. At one point yesterday I believed that something had happened which would mean we could never be together again. I was beside myself with worry until I managed to drag myself from my sickbed to read his latest email. I was so relieved when it became apparent that this was not so. How could I be so devasted over the possible loss of a man I had spent less than an hour with.
As I have said our exchanges have brought out a side to us both we would not normally see. My imagination has been running wild, our plans are to behave in a way that I would not have previously thought I could be capable of, however much my imagination has veered from my normal behaviour I fully intend to fulfill all that I have promised to my lord, my knight of tarnished armour. Maybe once these promises of sexual fulfillment have been realised we may not need to continue these liasons, at this present moment in time it is my desire that we should go onto other ways of giving fulfillment and lasting pleasure for a while longer. I do not intend to relinquish such promise of arousal that I am experiencing too easily unless that is what my master does wish.

In the past I have come across men who have become very important to me very quickly but there has never been an experience such as this. I have no wish to turn this into a long term relationship, but there is no way this could be a one night wonder. keep reading to find out what happens next.

apprehension

If I keep the proposed appointment at the selected hostelry will I have wasted my time and fuel to get there. Or shall I be blessed with the sight of your presence.


My dear Lady Please be assured I shall be there to greet you. Shall we meet in the car park so that we can walk in hand in hand?


****** my Lady Like you I am apprehensive as to whether the battle I go to to win your favours is fought well and that the alchemy between us is enough to have you bestow your virtu upon me. It would greave me so to discover that the battle I fight in your honour is in vein for lack of my resolution and devotion to you or that you should witness this fight and not be moved enough to reveal your completeness to me in body and soul. As I don my armour I look upon my manhood and wonder if it will ever enter any or all of your triptych portals as a favour for a battle well fought and won. I remain as ever devoted to your quest to remain the queen of my mind and body the ever bountiful Lady Slut ***** Your Knight Sir ***** :-x


My Lady The day is dismal for battle and the prospect of my armour staying free from rust quite a challenge. It would please me much to think you might be happy to give support to my battle for you by lubricating my working parts with oil that they might then become self lubricating and gush to your favour, because as at this very moment they are stiff with anticipation of meeting you. MY Queen, my Lady, my maiden *****, I wish to win your unreserved servitude as ever. Sir *****:-x


******, Lady and Queen to me I wish to think that the damp of the day is only equalled by the damp that you feel at your maidenhead when we meet and that if it does you might honour me with evidence of such servitude. However I wish you to know that I hold you most highly and would not wish to compromise your sensibilities publicly although being a publicly shy a taste of you would send me to battle much strengthened. Fear not My Lady, these are purely the unabridged alarmed thoughts of a man about to do battle and I fear they are far from pure for your ears leat you tell me otherwise. I kneel before you my Lady in the hope that I might take your sword much shorter than mine though it is and kiss it with my lips in honour of my allegiance, lick it in surrender to the power of your subservience and suck on it that I might free you from the chains of chastity to witness the force of your freedom visibly, wetly and over me. My Lady, until noon and thirty minutes . Sir ***** :-x


My Lady I was heart broken to know that with your affliction you ventured forth to meet and see me do battle. My only concern now is for your welfare, but selfishly I do wish to understand whether I equipped myself sufficiently to win you favours. Having you sit before me was a delightful and a lesson in self restraint as I busied myself championing for you, feasting on your lovely open face with those warm sensitive eyes and their wondrous mischief, your sensual uneven lips that broke smiling unreservedly into a mouth that filled me with desire to kiss and the sight of your breast heaving with every breath was in itself a breath taking joy to witness. I am undone my Lady and will fall at your feet and have you do to me whatsoever you will in honour of you courage under such circumstances. I could see that it was hard for you to be there and that the spirit was willing but the body not. It was hard for me in a more obvious way and I would have liked to have shown you the result of your provocation. I would have preferred to hold your ample orbs in my hands and pressed you to me that you could witness my resolve to honour your femininity. Instead I kissed your lovely lips and held your ample bosom and wished that you were naked in my arms that I might caress every inch of your being with my finger tips my tongue my mouth and intimately show you my sword that I could weald it in a fashion as to make you weak with delight and wish for its attentions over and over again. If my Lady tells me how well or ill I equipped myself in her standing, I will satisfy her wishes if she does so advise. Until I know otherwise I remain your knight Sir ***** :-x


Lady ***** my Lady my Slut my Subservient lovely, I pray for your forgiveness for I have been so sorely tempted my Lady, by your presences and the memory of the feel of you in my arms and under my fingers that I have been so charged by it that I took my sword in hand and the pleasure of it was so intense thinking it were your elegant feminine fingers with their sensual red painted nails about its shaft that it released from me such wet flailing passion filling me with a joyous sorrow that it was not yours to witness and feel. If forgiveness be required I desire it and thank you my Lady for your wondrous and obvious joy in your sexuality. With much restrained passion I am still your champion and master and look forward to the time when you will serve me well. Sir ***** :-x


dearest lord knight master of my body and soul

I am afraid to impart the news that whilst my health has now improved in that the nausea has diminished the raging pain in my crainium still exists. I have arisen from my bed at this moment for the one reason of assuring you that from the very moment of our meeting I did become instantly slave to your wishes and demands. throughout our brief encounter I did completely and whole feel great desire to kiss and touch yourself with such heat running through me. Those few brief kisses and fondles have given me much pleasure during the moments, hours since we parted to go our seperate ways. It is now my sincere wish that the time when we can show each other the pleasures we both desire to share will not be too far distant.

Until then my liege I am yours in a constant state of delicious arousal
lady ****** your very own slut

Butterflies

I am deeply touched to learn our correspondence the best mind fuck you have indulge in to date. I too find it extremely erotic and am sure your discretion will keep our identity and whereabouts unknown. Fucking you with words is so pleasurable and never fails to have me rise to the occasion each time you fuck me in return. Perhaps we'll both find any response it might generate on your blog equally exciting and maybe intensify our arousal for one another. I lust after your promiscuity as ever. S :-x


My dear lady, ***** my adorable mind fuck slut You leave me in a constant state of arousal and utterly desirous of finding you absent of the vestiges of any couture 'cept that which you might think titillating and make you feel vital feminine and sexually desirable. I find you invade my mind with no warning and chivalry demands I acknowledge dutifully your bountiful charms that present themselves to my minds eye. But duty it most certainly feels not, as I find myself in an automatic state of erectile salutation of the beautiful and ample images invading my consciousness. I find my fingers rome and begin to play in an almost unconscious and effortlessly rolling rhythm over the soft helmet of my armour and in so doing the intensity of my feelings for you heighten beyond any reasonable control at which point all I desire is to have you watch me exhibit proof of my desire for you and then to kiss you with utter passion on the very same spot my evidence displays itself. I will have your company my lady, in a day or so, but know this, that with every mouthful you see me enjoy with you, in my mind I shall be wishing it were your very maidenhead I would be consuming. One day my Lady *****, you will give yourself to me so completely that I shall know you, every inch and sensual curve, every erotic fold of flesh, every succulent depth both tight and loose, I will take you and between us we will confirm what a glorious slut my lady honestly is. Until the I next time my Lady, when I can release you from chastity, I bid you a good fare well. Your knight, Sir *****, to whom you submit your most depraved sluttery for my pleasure. xxxxxxxxxx


I am positive you will enjoy my postings for today when you get the chance to peruse the content your ever excited and mentally fucked lady slut


My Lady I did enjoy most gratifyingly and look with anticipation to the next admission to your slutish behavior. I have bad news of tomorrow, I may not manage to get to the computer in order to indulge your fancy nor to indulge mine, lest I sneak a moment from the trials of the day away from my desk. I am heavy hearted and will desire you all the more for the absence of having you fuck my mind with you erotic words and my pleasure in fucking yours mercilessly I am as ever my Lady *****, joyous to have you as my slut. Your Sir :-x Do you ever wish to be subservient to your Sir? Think on.


my liege
my dearest sir knight of tarnished armour I am mortified at this proposed abscence from my day. I knew just as I was leaving the house that an email had arrived from you, I hurried home in a definite state of anticipation and excitement to read your latest offering for my consumpion.

Having read with not alittle dismay the information you have had to impart, I find my being is a little disheartened but the fire in m loin still burns although mayby slightly less than during my journey of intense arousal.

would it please my liege to be in possession of a number that would connect with myself by telecommunication whilst away from normal abode. I do possesse a dual selection of such numbers one of which is for my select people, this is purely for silent communication by written word between myself and a favoured few.....never to be given to any other person. In the first instance the selection of digits used are ****** followed by a second series of digits being in the form of *****.

I await futher communication from my knight to his lady slut in frustration

please may this serious fucking of my mind continue far beyond 36 hrs from this moment

your ever subservient lady slut who by the way has no objection to tasteful images being captured for further enjoyment of the moments captured


dear sir *****my knight of tarnished armour

I have this minute having refereshed my mind and body under the steaming jets of water combined with soft fragrant bubbles of gel manufactured for the use in such a welcoming venue as the smallest enclosure within my abode. felt it now time to investigate the exact whereabouts of the appointed hostelry for our communal consumption of vittals at 30 minutes after the noon hour in a little under 25 hours from now. my hair still damp is crinkling up into soft curls without the restraint of the punishing heat of electric drier and harsh bristles of brush made for the untanglement and straightening of this abundance of fine threads of chestnut interwoven with white (otherwise named grey). my damp skin tingles under the light whisps of air that creep through my partially open window. my excitement at investigating my route to meet with my liege, my knight who knows how well that he has fucked his lady slut with his choice of verbal exchanges throughout these delicious days. there in the pit of my belly are the first beginnings of the stirring butterflies that bring with them the mixture of joy at the realisation that very soon now we shall meet in body. together with the growing fear, fear that our meeting may be not as we have both wished, that somehow it could fall short of our imagined being in such close proximity of each other. I pray so hard that the case will be that we shall find the connection between us is as electrifying as our exchange of written words. which have affected my very being for these days of deliously hot anticipation of what promises to be such a wonderful but short union of mind and maybe more.
the feelings in my lower abdomen as I write these word for my knight Sir ***** are greatly disturbing for one who is attempting to be sedate and ladylike in preperation for a business meeting in 30 minutes from now. (disturbing but most welcome).

I leave you now in words only for the time that is now until another time when I can give my whole attention to your pleasure.
I am my liege sir ***** knight of armour which has been tarnished
your very own lady ***** slut queen of your mind and body

until we meet again in words of wonderous beautiful emotions of sexual joining



my lord and master

I must tell you that no matter you are unable to exchange words with your slut Lady ****** during the current sequence of hours I feel that I must continue the flow of words from my end secure in the knowledge that you will peruse these offerings when you have the opportunity. I have recently as in the past hour come to realise that I have a new fantasy I would like to share with yourself.
I would my lord offer myself upto you my good and trusted master to receive what you would consider to be a sufficently suitable punishment for my previous misguided and mischevious promiscuity. further if it should so please my lord I have a deep desire to show my gratitude to you for being so firm and wise in your judgement of my behaviour. I would love to have the opportunity to allow yourself to make me so hot with desire for your pleasure that I cum so wetly and obviously for your attention whilst amongst the seemingly unwitting witness of those around us whilst we partake of the refreshments on offer by the establishment.
Butterflies aside I am most willing to abide by your judgement in these matters. As the hours to our union are decreasing these wonderful sensual butterflies are increasing my desire for the hours to deminish at rapid pace so that I alone can bear witness to the proof that my desire to please your lord my master is equally matched by the desire evident in your vastly erotic missives to myself that my efforts to please have not gone un noticed by yourself and indeed have had the desired effect upon your being. both in body and in mind.

your willing servant the most humble of sluts for your amusement and pleasure

lady ******

I have changed

Since the last time I saw or spoke to you I have done everything I can to get you out of my head and my heart. I have kept myself busy so that I dont have the time to think about you.
I joined another dating site , I never expected for one moment the enormous response I have had. Having weeded out the ones that are too far away, too young or too old together with the ones I am just not interested in I have narrowed my choice down to 23. I have been really enjoying myself, the attention is certainly a good confidence booster. though it is a challenge when I have 7 or 8 chatting at once. Why am I telling you this, you would probably think I am trying to make you jealous. But that isn't it at all. I am telling you so that you understand I have been trying so hard to move on and forget about you. Whilst I was at home I was beginning to manage that. I did still think of you and feel sad that our relationship ended the way it did.
But here in the caravan on the holiday that you chose, I have so much quiet time. Time to think, time to wish you were here. I have tried thinking about the guys I have been chatting to, I have been in contact with some while i have been here. But in the last few days I have come to realise that however much I am enjoying myself I still love you. I find it really odd that I love you so much when I don't really like you half the time. I guess that what I love about you outweighs what I don't. When I first started seeing these other men I felt really guilty as though I was betraying you. But why should I feel like that when you dumped me, I hacve every right to see whoever I want whenever I want.
I haven't gone into details but I have made it clear to some of the men that I am not looking for a relationship right now as I have just come out of a relationship with a guy who I was deeply in love with but he dumped me. what I want for now is to enjoy myself and to try to get this man out of my system. without exception they all htink I am lovely and you must be mad to dump me. When you came back to me the last time you said that I had changed since we first met. I hadn't changed just got a little more confident thats all. But I have changed now!!

how can they do this to us

I got the letter on monday but for some reason put it to one side and only opened it on tuesday...... they have reassessed my entitlement to what benefits I can have. they state how much the government says I need to live on each week and have taken 60% of it from me because I did 7 days temping back in september!!! They are already penalising me because my eldest son is no longer in fulltime education......they take away a portion of my benefits then increase my debts (hes now considered to be an adult so I have to pay for him ie council tax & 60% of the rent) but if I try to do something to improve my situation I get slapped in the face and penalised even more....how dare they do this to me.......then they preach about single mothers on benefits leaching off the tax payers living a life of luxury !!!! I would like to see them bring up 4 kids on what I get. I have been trying to get back to work but I have to earn more than I currently have the capacity to earn before I will be better off than my current state of affairs. Now I am an intelligent woman and by no means stupid I can earn a reasonable salary but its not enough. how do they expect mothers who dont have the abilities that I have to ever improve their lot. Maybe they think I should have stayed married then my situation would be different. No way jose......they can do their worst to me but I shall still be smiling and enjoying my life......I can and will improve my lot in life.
today I have signed up for a training course in IT.....im going to improve my skills so that my earning capacity increases to a level where I can earn enough to give my family the life they deserve.
no government office is going to keep this woman in the mire for long
I will always be smiling no matter what :-)

garage love

I have decided to sort out my garage....only I need someone strong to help me move the heavier things!!

Ok I take the hint I will help you.

I had only met him once and that was for a cuppa in town
but we had exchanged some hot text since.

monday morning he phones where are you ? I am at your door theres no answer....... Im already in the garage ( in a block behind the row of terraced houses). I go and find him and bring him to see what he has let himself in for. I had hoped that after our first meeting we would be able to get a bit more intimate....but to my horror my son had come home on friday beaming from ear to ear as they had a day off from school on monday. we worked hard emptying the garage then repacking it in a bit more order....yipee I can now get in there!!!
he thinks im crazy as I take a picture to prove that we had got it done!
we go into my kitchen for a cuppa he stands behind me I feel his hands on my shoulders then my breasts I turn my head and we kiss.....softly at first then more passionately. I turn in his arms he worries that the neighbours might see us through the window...but I know we are safe and if anyone did see Im in my own home and single.
we take our mugs of tea into the sittingroom. my son is upstairs....I go to make sure he is ok...hes playing a computer game and not interested in anyone else...I make him some lunch ( actually allowing him to eat in his room). I go back to my hero we sit very close together kissing ardently, hands going everywhere, after a while I climb into his lap and sit straddling him whilst still out lips are meshed together with tongues flicking and twisting. I am getting not just damp but very very wet, he slides his hand inside my jeans and I return the favour. By now my jeans are soaked and I am making his damp too. I slide out of my jeans and impale myself on his rock hard manhood. we writhe together in complete unison neither of us completly believing that we are doing this with a 10 yr old in the house. when we are done I twist around so that I am now sat on the sofa and he slides to his knees between my slippery thighs and lowers his head the anticipation get s too much for me and Im gushing again. his mouth finds my wetness and his tongue is soon working with silky smoothness caressing, probing licking me until I have cum so hard I can take no more. we have to bring things to an end which neither of us want.....he has to get ready for work and I need a change of clothes before my other sons arrive home from school. I cant wait for tomorrow when he will be back and we can get down to some serious lovemaking......he has wetted my appetite now and I want more .......much more. this is the start of a beautiful series of liasons with my passionate Lover (PL)