Misery of my own making perhaps

I am unhappy, lonely, fed up, pissed off.
My family are fine (to a degree) DC has a disciplinary at work tomorrow to find out if he is going to be sacked. OJ has an appointment at the dentist to have a tooth extracted as he has had an abscess which has forced the filling out and broken the tooth. I have a hospital appointment (my annual check up.)
work is fine although I was o my own today as my colleague was off sick........ok hes on his own tomorrow as I ahve a day off lmao.

So why am I miserable and is it of my own making.
Of course if you know me at all and if you ahve read my recent posts you will guess that it is man trouble. So if it is man trouble there has only been one man I have written about lately. A man who has unwittingly caused me to 'clean up my act' if you like.

I am not really writing about sex anymore, yes I know some of you wish I was. I have begun to delete the sexier pictures in my collection not that I have much that is very raunchy preferring suggestive over explicit.

So why am I miserable? after all only a few days ago I was saying how happy I am. Romeo has brought a big smile to my face over recent weeks. I see his name on my phone or in my email inbox and the biggest grin spreads across my face. I hear his voice and I smile laugh giggle like a school girl. So what has happened to make me feel so down. Nothing! thats right nothing.

The very first time we spoke on the phone Romeo warned me that his job (his own business) means that he often has to go abroad on business, sometimes for weeks at a time. This can mean that sometimes he won't be able to contact me either through sheer weight of his work commitments or through being in a place with little access to communication signals. He told me not to worry about this as it does not mean that he has lost interest in me. He has been away now for almost three weeks, we have had lots of contact, text, email and even telephone conversations but there have been gaps. gaps that he has explained, gaps that he has later told me it felt strange not to be in contact. But what is making me miserable now.

I have not heard from him for 4 days and it feels like a part of me is missing, the smile on my face is wavering. I am beginning to doubt what we have. I am starting to feel as though I have been naive and gullible again, he has asked me to trust him and I really want to. But past experience makes me feel wary and cynical. Is he for real is this the start of a fairy tale or the start of a rollercoaster to hell?