Real mothers do anything for their children

Real Mothers………..

Real mothers will do anything for their children , but many will neglect their own well being for the good of their children. I learnt the hard way that one of the most important things for us mothers to do for our children is to look after ourselves. At the start of 2001 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, I had a tumour the size of an orange. I was lucky that it was caught only just in time. I was due for my 5 yearly smear (pape) test when the tumour was found.

I particularly found Fussy Bitch’s post about female incontinence funny but with a sad tinge. In spring 2000 I found that I was leaking and decided that it was down to my age and weight so I started using Tena lady towels such as in FB’s post after all isn’t that what they are for. What I should have done was visit my GP. It was 6 months before I did and that was because I figured that I had a prolapse that was pressing on my bladder. I now know that it was the tumour pressing on my bladder.

I will never know when the tumour began to grow, but I had a smear test at my ante natal appointment after the birth of #4 son. This had to be done several times as there were insufficient cells (apparently not unusual after the birth of a child). Maybe the abnormal cells should have been picked up then or maybe they hadn’t yet started to form. When you get a call from your GP, to have a smear test make sure you do go. I believe that in the USA it is normal for this to be done yearly, where I live it is every 5 years however the hospital surgeons insist it should be at least every 3 years. Anyway my tumour was found, treated and I am lucky to still be here to tell the tale. A few weeks after getting the all clear I wrote an open letter to the mothers at my children’s schools. Over the years since I have passed this on to many of my online friends in the hope that I can spread the word how important it is for our children that we keep ourselves healthy. This message is not only for women but for men to pass on to the women in their lives. If I can prevent just one woman from going through what I did I will have achieved something in my life apart from bringing 4 wonderful young men into this world.

My boys all reacted differenty to my illness. #1 had just turned 13, he kept out of the house as much as possible. He didn’t know how to face me but his friends told me how worried he was. #2 was just 10 he wanted to be my rock, making sure I was comfortable, bringing me cups of tea and making sure his younger brothers were ready for school each morning, even making the lunchboxes up. I didn’t have the strength. #3 looked at me as though I had grown an extra head. But otherwise kept out of the way he was 9. my baby was 5 and just started school. He would just say mummy has a bad tummy then headbutt me in the tummy. A few years later we were discussing how two of my boys get ill more than the other two when #4 chimed in…….mummy you don’t get ill do you? You just get cancer!........He is not afraid of the word cancer because although he didn’t know what it was he knew mummy had cancer but she is well now.

This is the open letter that I mentioned earlier.


October , 2001

Dear Mothers:

Some of you will know me but many of you won’t. Earlier this year I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I have just recently been given the all clear, I am now cured. However I wanted to write to you to ask you to do your best to make sure that your children don’t have to go through what my children did.

There has never been any history of cancer in my family I don’t smoke and I am only in my thirties and have never missed a routine smear test. I had no reason to believe that I would get cancer especially not at this age. But I did, I have been very positive all through my treatment and have now come through it with a clean bill of health. When I told my boys that the cancer has all gone away they were all very pleased especially Elliot who announced to everyone within earshot, “I have got my normal mummy back.”

Hearing my son saying this has confirmed what I already knew, it was not only my life that has been put on hold for the last 8 months, but my whole family. We have had a lot of support from a lot of people including the staff at school. Some of you will also be aware that I have made it my aim to make sure that as many women as possible are made aware of just how very important it is that we all keep healthy. It is especially important to check your breasts regularly for lumps and go for regular smear tests. From asking around I have discovered that the general rule at Dr’s surgeries in this area is to call women for a smear test every five years. However the specialists at the hospital are adamant that we should be all tested every three years. If you don’t want to go to your own doctor’s you can get a smear test done at your local pharmacy. Just ask for an appointment although you will have to pay a small fee. It is not important where you go as long as you do get tested at least every five years, but every three years would be better. I know having a smear test is not pleasant, but it is nothing compared to the treatment for cancer.

If you have a smear test that shows abnormal cells you can be treated and like me get better.

For the sake of your children please, please look after yourselves.