a year

I can't believe it has been a year already
it's a year since that first time we met
which reminds me that it is your birthday
do you remember the giant pink candle I wanted to use to celebrate your birthday
it was a good summer for me with you around
when we were not snogging or shagging we were chatting on msn or texting.
you promised me a tongue to die for and you were right
yes you were big headed about your prowess
I had recently been hurt but so had you
neither of us wanted to get involved but we both knew we were
who knows what would have happened if you had stayed in the country
if you hadnt had to go so suddenly
you said you would be back but you didnt say when,
would it be months or would it be years
you said we would continue this friendship so precious to us both
you said we would still chat on msn.
when you left i sent text and email but got no reply
you had forgotten me already I thought
then the message came asking why no word from me
had I forgotten you already had you upset me
you were coming back for a few weeks
you would see me then
when you came back you had been away
to a place it is not safe to be
I am so glad I knew not before
that night together I shall remember welll
but you were different
it wasnt just the appearance of facial hair
your manner was changed
you were distant, not here with me
was it where you had been that made you thus
or was it that you no longer cared for me in the same way
apart from a brief chat the following day I have heard nothing from you
I wonder if that was because you had changed or because something happened to you
I trully hope you are safe and well
much has happened in my life in these months but still
you are here in my heart, in my mind, in the various places that were ours.
our table, our view, our woods,
I taste you still
that mix of coffee and tobacco
the feel of your hands on my body,
your fingers as they stroke my neck in that way that makes me want to faint.
I remember the last words you said as you kissed me goodbye
mmmmmm raspberry
I remember you broke a tooth the day we had our first night at the hotel
I broke my tooth the next time we were to stay there
I remember the magic of your touch and your expertise with my first vibrator
I still see your naked form at the window as you watch that deer
i remember too the tv programs we watched before breakfast
I miss you my friend