Saturday 30 December 2006

frustration

I have met some one, there is a new man in my life! we met through the same web site as all my other lovers, admirers and friends. I have had a lot of fun and enjoyment not just meeting but sometimes just chatting to all my new friends online. No matter how much they might want me they all understand that there are others. I have two lovers who I see at least once a month more whenever possible (not at the same time). there are others I see from time to time. Most of my new friends including my lovers are married. None of our relationships are exclusive. Now I have met GB, and I like him, yet again a married man!! however the difference is that he wants me to be his, he doesnt want to share me with other men.

Ok I have no problem with that, if he wants me to be his exclusively. It wont stop me from chatting, flirting with my other friends. but if he wants the kind of relationship where I don't see others, providing that he can show me that he is worth the sacrifice, that is what I shall do.

I have now reached a stage where I want someone for me. Someone who wants just me, who will be there for me when I need/want them. someone I can devote my affection to. GB and I have corresponded by email and text, we have had conversations by telephone ( I love to hear his voice). We have met, we have explored each other, we have chemistry. But there is something missing. Something vital is missing from this relationship. Something which is causing me to question whether I should go with this relationship or just make it plain that I have no intention of giving up my other lovers for him.

What is missing? what is it that is so vital that we do not have?

TIME!!

As I said he is married.....he has assured me that he can see me whenever I wish to see him. this has proved not to be the case. Not only is he busy with his family and his business, he has been away a lot. He is away now. It doesnt stop the flow of text and emails, but it does mean that we are unable to spend any time together.

I want to see him, indeed I need to see him again, I want to be everthing he wants. I want so much to go on this journey with him. But at what price? I am feeling lonely and frustrated.

should I remain his exclusively (my joke about finding out if anyone else is about this weekend didnt go down too well). Or should I just tell him straight that if he wants to see me then he has to share me. Then I can go back to seeing others with a clear conscience that I am not deceiving him or anyone else.

4 comments:

Southern Swinger said...

You mentioned in your comment on our blog about SL and the plan to meet a swinging couple. Think SL might be a better choice than GB. He sounds like too much of a controller who would put a damper on your lifestyle

Lady in red said...

Time is also an issue with SL as he is also married, though we were very good friends long before we actually met and while I was not working it was possible to meet during the day, not currently the case.
SL refers to us as 'kindred perverts' I quite like that even more than his other phrase.....friends with benefits.

A Sexy Story said...

i agree with sw, it might be a good idea to lay it on the line for him. If he has others in his life, why can't you?

marasgal

Cherrie said...

This is an issue only you can resolve, Ladyinred. I would not be comfortable with an exclusive relationship, although I haven't had any outside lovers for several months. I would need the understanding that I could make love to others if and when I choose. But everyone is different, and relationships survive only if they work for both partners.