anniversaries

yesterday was also the anniversary of the day my ex husband finally left our home. He has been gone for a year now and we are all so much happier since he went. He had been refusing to go, insisting that if anyone left it should be me as I am the one who wanted to end our marriage. The court gave him until 4pm 24th april 2006 to leave. He agreed to go but later informed me that before he went he would set fire to the house. He also threatened to smash the place up before he went. I spoke to the police who were willing to attend the property on the afternoon to prevent him causing damage. When the day arrived he asked me to let him stay another week as he had nowhere to go. He had had 7 months to organise himself. But in the end he just packed his stuff and went. It was not the end of the hassle and threats I got from him. But it was a relief that he had gone. first thing I did was to rip down the curtains open the window and light lots of scented candles. I cleaned that room for a week trying get rid of all traces of his smell and the mess he had left behind. I ripped up the carpet and stripped off the wallpaper (so far I cant afford to replace them but im fine without for the moment). threw out the marital bed and bought a new one (which the kids have already broken). I have put up shelves a bit wonky but they have stayed up!
the next anniversary is 27th april, when it will be a year since my decree absolute was issued.
Last week my youngest was having emotional problems refusing to go to school sleeping and crying a lot. He says he has been thinking about when his dad lived here. he isnt sure if it is that he misses him or if its the memory of all the bad things that happened. (he witnessed more than the older boys). last year even after his father had moved out he wouldnt go to school, kept being poorly, it eventually came out (an asssistant at school got him to talk)that he was afraid to leave my side in case anything bad happened to me. He wasnt satisfied that I had a personal alarm and a panic button linked to the police station. He felt that it was only him and his older brothers (#1 & 2) who could protect me. There were times when #1 had to keep his father off me and #2 was keeping a cricket bat by his side in case he had to hit his father with it.
I am so glad those days are over and we can live normally again. they dont see their father very often even though he lives 5 minutes walk away. but he does phone them several times a week. they are happy that they have regular contact but not bothered that they dont see him. I have not said anything to remind the boys that it has been a year, feeling that it would be better for them to not make an issue of it.
maybe if I can get to the bloggers meet in blah next friday I can do my celebrating there.