weak

Today I was weak, I gave in. All week I have noticed Jasper sign into msn. During our last conversation he said he doesnt have time to check msn anymore. All week he has been online for maybe 5 minutes at a time. Each time I have been tempted to say hi. I miss him I miss our chats. Today he was online already when I signed in. I did my usual check the emails and go through the blogs I read whilst keeping my messenger up so I could see how long Jasper was online. After about an hour of wanting to tell him I miss him so much I gave in. I sent him an email. I didnt tell him I still want him, I didnt tell him how much I miss our chats, how much I long for the feel of his hands and his lips, the sight of his smile or the sound of his voice. it was merely a hope you have a good easter with your children. then I emailed a few of my friends a very similar message before sending the same text to others. It didnt take him long to reply

and you too xx

that was this morning before I went out for a family lunch soon after. Tonight I saw him sign in again but this time it was only for about 10 mins. I managed to resist the temptation to tell him how much I still want him. Oh and I know I was supposed to be out tonight but if you hadnt already realised my date cancelled......It seems he suddenly remembers he has a girlfriend and doesnt want to mis use her trust. We must have been chatting for 5 or 6 months and this is the first time he has mentioned he is seeing anyone!!!